


Where Darkness Falls

by 7GreyWolf



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Silent Hill
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 17:13:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 70,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7GreyWolf/pseuds/7GreyWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Misato arrives in Silent Hill but what awaits her?</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Empty Skies of Darkness

Empty Skies of Darkness

Disclaimers: I do not own Evangelion or Silent Hill, that honour goes (respectively) to Studio Gainax animation and Konami Entertainment. Should either company, or any of their affiliates, request it, this story will be removed from the web. Thank you.

Author's Notes: This is a crossover of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Silent Hill. This ignores both the series ending and End of Evnagelion.

Co-written with Random 1377.

Prologue – The Letter

Misato Katsuragi drove back towards her apartment in silence, the dull 'thump thump' of her Alpine's wiper blades the only sound within the small passenger space of the vehicle. The rain beat down on her windshield relentlessly, the dark, leaden clouds reflecting her thoughts as if by design and offering themselves to the idea that the entire world was against her.

It had been two weeks since the death of Kaworu Nagisa. The Fifth Child… Shinji's best friend… the seventeenth angel… Tabris. Shinji had taken the boy's death hard, and Misato readily admitted that her discussion with the forlorn Third Child was a bit on the cold side, but she would never in a million years have dreamed that he would vanish the way he had, disappearing without a trace from the very hillside Misato had left him upon.

Her latest update from Section Two – less than an hour prior – had contained the same results: no word from Shinji, no one fitting his description in any port or nearby city, no bodies with his characteristics in any of the morgues… no clues as to his current location.

Misato arrived at her building and rushed inside, doing her best to stay dry in the driving rain as she made her way towards her apartment. Reaching into her pocket for her keys, she sighed…who would have thought things could have come out the way they had?

Ryoji's dead… she thought, slipping the key into the lock, I haven't been allowed to see Ritsuko since the last angel… Asuka's still in a coma…and Shinji…I don't even know where the hell he could be! People don't just VANISH – not with the kind of security HE has on him!! She shook her head. Section Two has assured her that they were doing all that that they could to find Shinji, and with her other duties and paperwork, it wasn't as if she could just drop everything and tackle it single-handedly.

She unlocked the door of her apartment and entered, catching herself before the words 'I'm home' could form on her lips. Never had she known it to feel so…empty. Misato Katsuragi felt more alone in that moment than she ever had in her life.

Quickly wiping her eyes (and telling herself that it was just rain dampening them) she picked up her mail and walked into the kitchen, putting the small stack of envelopes on the table as she headed for the fridge. With an almost guilty air, she reached in and extracted a six pack of beer, glancing over her shoulder and imagining that she could hear Asuka jeering 'I thought you quit! You're just a big lush!'

With shaking hands, she set the beer on the table and pulled one off the ring. Asuka, she thought tiredly, Even before the 15th Angel, she saw Shinji as a threat to her position. He was the only one who ever beat an Angel without assistance, and even though she trained for years, he was still better than her near the end. She popped the top on the beer, but did not drink, finding it easier to focus on all that had come before – as painful as it was – than all that was currently happening. And after me and Kaji renewed our relationship well… she sighed and took a small sip, a slight grimace lighting her features as the coarse alcohol burned her throat. A lot of how Asuka acted towards her from that point on was born out of jealousy, she was sure. What the fifteenth angel did to her did not help her state of mind at all, but…

Misato bit her lip, the beer in her hand momentarily forgotten. She had also visited Asuka a couple of hours before, finding (unsurprisingly) that the young German girl was still in a coma. Misato began to wonder if the girl would ever wake up, lifting the beer to her lips and quickly downing it before she could think about all the reasons she had quit. She did not care what Asuka's attitude was going to be – whether it was more ranting about how her life sucked, or some remark along the lines of 'I'm not your daughter and you're not my mother,' or even if the redhead called her a drunken whore… as long she would just wake up and come home so Misato did not have to be alone anymore.

She slapped her forehead and found her thoughts trailing back to Shinji once again. I was never there… she berated herself harshly, popping the top of the second beer with so much force that a small amount of the amber liquid splashed onto her hand. I did exactly what papa did to me and mom, even when I knew Shinji needed me the most. God, what must he have thought when he looked at Rei?? And who knows how lonely he must have been… and how desperate he was and…

Misato let the thought trail off, trying to obliterate it with another beer… but it was no use. She found herself wondering if she had ever really been there for Shinji when he needed her, and knowing that if she had, Kaworu would never have stuck his claws into Shinji and weaselled his way into Shinji's life. After Shinji had killed Kaworu, Misato had started wondering if the angel had genuinely cared. Looking back her words were worse than unhelpful…

Perhaps I should have told him that I was sorry that I was never there for him, and perhaps I should have told him that…I cared about him. Misato sighed, Shinji's 'hedgehog's dilemma' made him rather hard to reach – but then again, wasn't she the same way? She had certainly felt pain when she got close to him, but still… wasn't it a good pain? At least…in some ways? I wish I'd tried harder to reach him, she lamented sadly. Was I EVER close to him? God, I used to think I was doing ok, but now…? Misato shook her head, looking back at what she had said to Shinji after Kaworu's death. He was right, she thought sadly, that was cold…

It should have been clear to her after the sixteenth angel, and Rei's apparent death, that she was not as close to the boy as she would have liked, but did she do anything about it? No, she decided, no she did not. I wonder if he was more afraid of hurting ME, she thought hopefully, opening the third can and feeling a slight warming in her stomach as the drinks began to have their desired effect. Maybe if I pushed a little more he would have opened up to me that night, so why didn't I? Was I the one that was running that night?

Misato sighed and wondered if she would ever have the opportunity to reach him again.

She scowled as she thought of her supervisor, the supreme commander of NERV – a certain Gendou Ikari. The bastard abandoned his own son when he was 4, she thought, glad to have something else to be mad at besides herself, and he was so full of excuses and half truths that Shinji never had a chance to even get CLOSE to finding out why he was left alone. All he ever wanted was for his father to look at him – just once – and acknowledge his existence…that was the least he could do… Misato bowed her head in shame, for while she could not understand his reasoning for it, she knew that in many ways, she was no better. When Shinji needed it the most, no one was there to tell him it was alright, not his father, not Asuka, not even she herself said 'it's ok, Shinji – you did what you had to do. I understand.'

All she could come up with was, 'He didn't deserve to live.'

At least he knew where he stood with the Commander, Misato thought darkly, he said up front, 'I want you to pilot.' He never offered more, or expected more. She took a long, slow pull off of the third beer. And God forgive me, neither did I…

Bringing her thoughts back to Kaworu, Misato wondered suddenly if he had actually been able to reach Shinji. He had told the Third Child that he loved him… but was he sincere, or was he just telling Shinji what he wanted to hear?

She ran a hand through her long dark hair, her face showing her worry as she picked up her mail. Shinji please tell me where you are… she thought tiredly, I promise that we'll work this out just if you just come home, please I… she let her thought trail off as she went through her mail, trying her best to lose herself in the mundane act. She found that she was already approved for a low-interest rate credit card, a low-interest rate car loan, and a super low-interest rate on refinancing her home.

She sighed.

Why do I even bother? She thought disgustedly, shuffling through the envelopes. "If it's not someone asking for money, it's someone trying to give me money," she muttered, frowning as she spotted a handwritten address amongst the stack of junk mail, "at a low introductory interest rate of course." She smiled to herself at her weak joke, glancing at the return address. "Silent Hill," she read, glancing at the postmark as she turned the envelope over and began tearing it open, "Silent Hill USA, huh? Who would be writing me from-"

Her throat locked up and she sat down hard as she scanned the first few lines, her heart clenching in her chest as a million emotions threatened to overwhelm her. She set the envelope down, but kept her hand on it as if she was afraid it might disappear as she reached out and picked up her third beer, emptying it with one gulp.

"N-now then," she whispered, struggling to control herself as she brought the letter up to her face and read it very, very closely, not wanting to miss a single word.

Dear Misato,

I want to start this letter by saying I'm not mad anymore – I think you should know that. I've had a lot of time to think about everything you said to me about Kaworu, and I think I have to admit that you're at least partially right. I know now that I had no choice in killing him, because he WAS an angel, and Kaji told me about what would happen if an angel touched Adam, but… but even with all of that, it's the hardest thing I've had to do.

He told me he loved me, Misato.

Did you know that no one has ever told me that they love me before? Until I met Kaworu no one had ever said those words to me…ever.

When you talked about him like he was just another angel, I knew I couldn't stay with you anymore. Yes, he was an angel… but he was still a good person, Misato. You would have known that if you had ever talked to him, but you never made any effort to get to know him. He was actually there for me when you weren't, and you passed judgement on him based on your own ignorance.

I never knew what you wanted from me, Misato. I thought, for a while, that you wanted to be my friend – but you don't ignore your friends when they need you, do you? You haven't spoken more than two words to me in the last month – did you even notice that? I have always cared about you, Misato… but I just couldn't stand the silence any more, can you understand that?

My meetings with father were always tense and I never understood what I ever did to deserve his treatment, but I knew that that was the way he was, so I just accepted it… but that's no excuse for what I did to you. I should have been there for you when I learned that Kaji died, and I'm sorry, it's just that I didn't know what to do… so I just stood there, saying nothing… watching you cry.

I guess… I don't know what I want to say to you anymore, Misato – I've forgotten why I started this letter… so I'm just going to stop now by saying: I'm sorry, Misato, for not being there for you when you needed me most… for running away… for anything that I've ever done to hurt you, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Shinji

Misato gaped as she finished reading the letter. Shinji? She thought dizzily, America… Silent Hill… how…?

She sat back in her chair, clutching the letter tightly in her hands as if it was the most valuable thing in the world – and at that moment, it was. "S-sorry," she managed, blinking as two tears pattered onto the paper, "y-your sorry…" 

Quickly wiping at her eyes, caught between the most intense sensation of guilt she had ever felt and the near-euphoric high of finally having a clue about the whereabouts of the person she had done the most harm to, Misato snatched up the phone and dialled NERV central.

"Y-yes, Kotoko?" she said quickly, "It's Misato Katsuragi… yes, I was wondering if you could tell me…" she glanced at the envelope, her eyes tracing the return address with a fervently hopeful light, "I was wondering if you could tell me how much vacation time I have left…"

Continued…


	2. Silent Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato arrives in Silent Hill but what awaits her?

Disclaimers: I do not own Evangelion or Silent Hill, that honour goes (respectively) to Studio Gainax animation and Konami Entertainment. Should either company, or any of their affiliates, request it, this story will be removed from the web. Thank you.

Chapter 1 - Silent Hill

Misato could not keep herself from glancing at the rental car's digital clock once more, noting that it had been four minutes since her last check. 3:36, she thought, bringing her attention back to the road, and according to the last sign I saw, Silent Hill should be about five miles or so. I'm almost there, Shinji.

The attendant at the rental car stand in the small airport had looked sceptical when Misato had asked for directions to the small resort town. 'I've never been there,' the woman had confessed, typing efficiently into her computer terminal, 'but according to this. ahh here, it is - fifty miles.'

"Fifty miles of nothing," Misato muttered tiredly, "empty, flat, nothing." She sighed as she spied a small, green exit sign. "'Silent Hill, 1 mile,'" she read, "Oh thank G-"

The car lurched.

"What the hell.?"

She gripped the wheel tightly as the car lurched once more, an ominous clunking sound issuing from the front of the vehicle.

"Oh no - no!!" she cried, pumping the gas as the car shuddered, a wisp of fine white smoke curling from the hood. "Come on!!"

It was no use. As the beginning of the exit ramp came into view, the car lurched one last time, and stalled, coasting to a stop with its nose inches from the sign reading 'Silent Hill - America's Relaxation Spot!'

"Great," Misato groaned, turning the key and yanking it from the ignition, "just great! Hey, Shinji, I want you to come home. what's that? Drive you say? Well, funny story."

She sighed.

Swinging the door open, she grabbed her jacket. No use whining about it now, she thought, slipping out of the car and slamming the door a bit harder than she had intended. America's Relaxation spot, huh? Well, I haven't seen a car for about fifteen miles, so it doesn't look like I'll be relaxing until I get there. better get walking.

Reaching into her pocket and clutching the wrinkled letter firmly, she did just that.

**

Misato made her way into the small town of Silent Hill under the cover of dense fog. At least it's not raining, she thought pragmatically, stopping under an awning to shake her hair out. Might as well be, though - damn America's wet!

She pulled the envelope out of her pocket and glanced at the address, though she did not really need to. she knew it by heart - had memorized every penstroke with meticulous care, lest she should forget a minute detail or another and not find the boy she had travelled halfway around the world for.

Of course, knowing an address in a strange city and finding an address in a strange city were two very different things. "Glad I'm not a man," she murmured, smiling faintly as she spotted a small convenience store, "ok, let's see if we can find this place."

She strode through the store's entrance, but much to her surprise, she found it entirely empty - no customers, no staff at the till.nobody.

"Hello.?" she called, glancing from her watch to the store's open-until sign and back again.

What if there's been a robbery? She thought, uneasily slipping her hand into her jacket to caress the butt of her pistol, But then. where's the cops? It was only then that it occurred to her that she had seen nobody on the streets either. What the hell is going on here? Hmmm, maybe it's time for me to be elsewhere. Backing out of the store, she spotted a map on the floor. She grinned to herself as she noted that it was definitely a map of the town. Hope you don't mind if I help myself, she thought, taking a look at the map and searching for the apartment building mentioned in the address on the letter. Hmmm it's not all that far from here, so maybe- her thoughts were interrupted by a soft scraping sound, coming from somewhere deeper in the building.

Instinctively she drew her service pistol and aimed at the door leading to the convenience store's back room. "All right," she called coolly, "come out slowly, with your hands where I can see them!" Her grip tightened on the gun's handle. "I'm armed," she warned, taking a careful step to the side in an effort to get a better angle on the half-open portal, "Are you the owner? I'm not going to hurt you. just come out where I can see you and we'll call the cops, ok?"

Man, my English is awful, she thought absently, toeing a bag of potato chips carefully to the side; I hope they understand me.

She frowned, starting to think that maybe she had been hearing things. "Hel-"

A sound from above. and something was upon her.

"Whuff."

The air left her lungs in a rush as a creature roughly the size of a ten year old child collided with her, knocking her to her the floor and sending her pistol spinning across the floor.

Time stood still as Misato Katsuragi found herself face to face with a demon.

Its body was a disgusting shade of off-white - like one of the species of tunnelling worms she had seen on a nature program once, the kind that never saw the light. and its eyes, like glittering chips of obsidian, peered into hers with a sort of stupid triumph for what felt like a full minute before its toothless beak descended towards her face.

"Gah!!"

Misato's paralysis broke as her survival instincts kicked into overdrive. She bucked, her hips moving in a sickening parody of lovemaking, but her 'lover's' spindly legs were far more powerful than she had anticipated, and her efforts only yielded an irritated squawk. Seeing that this tactic was not effective, she wrapped her left hand around its neck, trying not to be sick as she found its skin warm and clammy, and held it back as best she could, reaching blindly with her right hand towards the closest rack.

"Come on," she gasped desperately, her eyes widening as she found the creature pushing her inexorably back, "come on!!"

Her fingers played over several useless items - a box of crackers, a hostess snack cake, more chips - before finally closing over something smooth, cool, and decidedly hard.

With a triumphant cry, Misato brought the bottle of cheap wine around, smashing it over the creature's head and taking great pleasure in the plaintive mewl it uttered as it finally loosened its hold, clutching at the ruins of its right eye and staggering back a pace. Quick as a flash, she scrambled to her feet and dashed across the store, dropping to her knees and snatching up her gun as a howl of rage sounded behind her. Loosing a scream of her own, she whirled around, allowing herself the luxury of a half second to aim at the wildly charging creature's mouth before pulling the trigger.

For a moment, she did not believe this would actually kill the creature. After all - demons don't die from simple bullets, right? But to her very great relief, the creature staggered back and fell to the ground, its narrow chest instantly stilling as a soft, whispery sigh came from its beak.

Misato kept her gun trained on it, her eyes darting all over the store (including the ceiling) in case it was not alone. It's dead, right? She asked herself, refusing to turn her back on it until she had confirmed this fact. It has to be! .whatever it is.

When it had not twitched for five minutes, she slowly lowered her gun, taking a closer look at its physique.

What the Hell IS that?! she thought, morbid curiosity slowly taking the place of outright terror.

It was roughly 4'11" to 5'1" by her estimate, and quite thin, with three long fingers on each hand - just the right size, Misato noticed, to close all the way around a human's neck. Its legs looked somewhat bowed, as if it had just gotten back from a long horse riding expedition and had not yet gotten readjusted to life out of the saddle. but it eyes were what disturbed her the most. Small, hard, black - no more than half the size of a human eye, but somehow crueller and more avian. Its mouth, she decided, could easily inflict serious damage on a person, for while it had no teeth, the edges of its beak were serrated and sharp - marking this creature as an unquestionable carnivore.

"Well, the menu's been changed," Misato whispered unevenly, risking a quick nudge with the tip of her boot.

Deciding that the thing was in fact dead, she carefully approached the storeroom, certain she would find the proprietor of the store lying half- devoured in a pool of his or her own blood. but there was only the stock you would expect to find in a convenience store, and while it was definitely disorganized, she could say authoritatively that there had been no killings here. She looked next in the staff room, finding it as empty as the storeroom - just as the manager's office was empty, and the men and women's rooms. All were undisturbed, with no blood, no bodies. nothing.

Misato, keeping her gun at the ready, took another look at the map. "Lonsdale apartments," she muttered, glancing down once more at the body on the floor, "first right out of here and two blocks up. should be there in five minutes - if I don't run into any monsters, that is."

She rubbed her eyes, hoping suddenly that this was all a bad dream. When the creature was still lying on the floor in a spreading pool of black blood when she opened them once more, Misato decided that there was only two things she really needed to do: find Shinji, and get the hell out of this place.

It was not her concern what was going on in this town, she thought firmly. I just came to bring my boy back home. Yeah, whatever's happening here is messed up, but I can't do a thing about that until I make sure HE'S ok.

Taking a deep breath, Misato stepped out of the convenience store into the thickening fog, frowning as she realized that anyone standing inside the store would not be able to see her after she had gone five paces.

She did not like this idea one bit.

**

Almost there.

Misato consulted the map in her hands once more, glancing up at the dim, looming shape she hoped was the apartment building. Being out in the fog had her jittery - her brush with the gruesome creature in the convenience store notwithstanding - and she longed to be on her way out of town with Shinji in tow.

"Just hope he's ok," she whispered, pocketing the map and squinting through the dense cloud of vapour. "No," she corrected, "I know he's ok! I won't even think about."

She trailed off as an odd sound reached her ears.

Sounds like. flapping.?

With a short cry, Misato dropped to the ground, her eyes registering the passing of a huge, leathery wing - roughly the size of her rental car's hood - tipped with a sharp, bony talon.

She held her sanity through sheer will.

This just can't be happening! she told herself, aiming wildly in the direction the creature had winged past her. Don't think about it, she thought firmly, trusting her sense of hearing to compensate for the reduced visibility, don't think about it - just kill it!

She gritted her teeth as a harsh, bird-like caw reached her ears, and while she could not see her target, she still had the presence of mind to steady her gun and squeeze the trigger, hoping for the best. Her timing was impeccable, the muffled blast of gunfire sounding a moment before the creature swooped back into sight, its cold black eyes trained on her face as it dove.

The bullet tore into the thing's right wing, cutting it off in mid-screech and sending it to the ground in a tangle of fluttering, impossibly large wings and sharp, blood-spattered claws.

"God," Misato moaned, steadying her shaking weapon with her free hand and squeezing the trigger three times in rapid succession.

She had no time to rejoice as the creature fell still, though, as another caw sounded behind her. She took off at a sprint, holding her gun low but ready as she calculated the chances of her survival.

Four rounds per. thing, she thought, her eyes sweeping the street in front of her as she moved, sixteen rounds per clip. half a clip's gone already. and I only have one backup. Yeah, it looks like I'm screwed.

The screeching behind her grew louder, as if the creature (or creatures, the echoing effect of the fog made it hard to tell) could sense that its prey was attempting to escape, but Misato ignored it, putting on a burst of speed and slamming into the apartment building's front door with a quickly gasped, "Please be open."

Her prayer was answered as the normally key-coded door proved to be ajar, allowing her access to the dark, slightly rundown looking interior.

Something rebounded off the glass behind her as she slammed the door, but when she turned to aim her weapon, Misato only caught a glimpse of something's tail as it winged off into the fog. Leaning against the wall, she allowed herself a small, calming breath. Don't get too comfy, she thought nervously, find Shinji's apartment, get him, get the hell out of here - that's all that should be on your mind, Katsuragi.

She took another breath, imagining that the steadying voice in her mind belonged to her old lover, Ryouji Kaji. because it was easier than facing the growing certainty that she was the only living person in this strange, quiet town.

"You wouldn't have been stupid enough to let him run away, though, would you," she asked the empty hall quietly, "no, only I'm that dumb."

Shaking herself, Misato headed towards the door marked 101, trying to decide if she was thankful or frightened that it too was ajar. Landlord's place should have a spare key, she told herself, and if Shinji's stuck up there, I doubt he'll just open the door, even for me.

The landlord's apartment was kept neat as a pin. though it was just as devoid of people as the rest of the town. "At least there's no bodies," Misato muttered, closing the door behind her after confirming that she was alone in the apartment's sparsely decorated living room. "Now, quick check of the other rooms, and we'll get to work."

Quickly glancing into the tiny bedroom and bathrooms to determine that there was nothing waiting to leap out at her, she made her way to a small filing cabinet marked 'tenants' located next to a small pegboard with extra keys dangling from it. Very meticulous, she thought, running her fingers over the rows of keys, now let's check the records - because if he moved out right after mailing that letter, and this is all for nothing, I'm going to be pissed!

She pulled out the top drawer on the filing cabinet, quickly rifling through the records in search of anything that might help her find her young charge. She did not expect to find him using his real name, of course, as he had run away from home in the first place. but the more she thought about this, the more she found it odd that he had included his return address in the first place. If he had not wanted her to come after him, why say where he was? But if he did want her to find him, why not include his apartment number?

"Doesn't matter right now," she muttered, leafing through the papers, "all that matters is. hmmm." she pulled out one of the rental agreements and read it aloud. "'Natsuko Takeuchi plus one' huh? Well, it's the only Japanese name in here, so maybe." She frowned at the small +1 notation on the page. "Could it be. nah, no way."

For a moment, she had considered the idea that the +1 (or the Natsuko Takeuchi, for that matter) could have been Maya Ibuki, one of Ritsuko's top technicians. The woman had left NERV three days after the incident with the seventeenth angel, saying that she just could not deal with the pressure anymore. No one had seen her since.

Couldn't be her, Misato told herself, scanning the rest of the names to make absolutely sure this was the best option, Why would she be here with Shinji? He probably just put the plus one there to make sure no one bothered him. hell, maybe he tells the landlord it's his mother and she's always out or something, who knows?

"Apartment 402," she whispered, slipping the rental agreement back into its folder and plucking the spare key from the pegboard, "just like Rei's. Talk about irony."

Irony, she thought suddenly, or fate?

Shaking off the odd thought, she started to close the filing cabinet, but her sharp eyes spied a small box, nestled at the bottom of the cabinet. "Hello," she whispered, grinning broadly as she reached in and extracted the small package, "you don't mind if I borrow these, do you?"

Opening the box of nine millimetre rounds, Misato found another pleasant surprise - two fully loaded clips designed for the very gun she carried and a small yellow flashlight, complete with a belt clip. God I love you, Browning, she thought with a great deal of relief, See? Carrying a popular model DOES have its benefits - and it looks like the landlord was ready for any contingency. her elation faded a bit. Hope he made it out ok.

Pocketing the clips, the loose rounds, and the flashlight, she closed the cabinet and headed back to the foyer. She glanced doubtfully at the elevator. "Better not," she muttered, heading for the stairs, "last thing I need is to make myself into a boxed lunch."

She had to repress a giggle at this thought, wondering suddenly if perhaps she had not gone insane. Maybe I'm still sleeping on the plane, she thought idly, edging the door to the stairs open and peering carefully into the confined space, Hell, maybe I'm in a mental institution somewhere, drooling on my straightjacket and mumbling about all my life's mistakes.

Shaking off the thought, she headed slowly up the stairs, thankful that the small lights on the wall were still on. because she knew, deep down, that there was no way she was going to climb three flights of stairs in total darkness - and she was not about to trust her life to the small yellow flashlight in her pocket.

Finally making her way to the fourth floor, Misato frowned. "Of course," she muttered, finding the floor entirely dark.

Taking a deep breath, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the flashlight, fixing it to one of her jacket pockets and snapping it on. Her annoyance at the dark faded at the sight before her. The fourth floor corridor looked utterly grimy, with a fine layer of filth on every surface and dark, suspiciously coppery smelling splatters on all of the walls.

There was an air of death and decay about the place that she could not describe with words.

What the hell is going on here? she thought as she gaped at the sight. She took a step into the hall, thankful that the flashlight's clip allowed her to use both hands for her gun. She came up short as the light's narrow beam played across something white and shiny. No, she thought disgustedly, oh no - you've got to be kidding me!

The creature (creatures, she corrected herself, seeing that there was two) came up to about her stomach, and like the one in the convenience store, had skin a pasty, sickly shade of off-white. but unlike the thing in the store, these beings bore no features - their heads looking as if someone had shoved lumpy, misshapen white potatoes on their stocky little bodies.

Also, she noticed belatedly, there were carrying knives.

With a disgusted cry, Misato opened fire, catching one creature in the leg and the other in the shoulder, and while both fell to the ground, neither made any sound. nor did they stop moving, starting to crawl laboriously towards her position, using their knives like anchors and dragging themselves across the floor.

Fighting a wave of nausea, Misato drew a careful bead on the closest monster and pulled the trigger three times, only shifting her attention to its companion when it had stopped twitching and lay still. All together, she pumped ten rounds into the creatures, popping in a fresh clip to finish each with a carefully placed shot to the shapeless head.

"There," she muttered, wiping sweat from her upper lip with the back of her hand, "now let's find 40-"

She was cut off as something wet and slimy wrapped around her ankle.

"Ahhh!!"

Without a second thought, she jabbed her gun downward and pulled the trigger, nearly throwing up as the thing (tongue - it's a tongue!) spewed blood, but did not release her. Tightening her hold on the gun, she pulled the trigger over and over, screaming out loud as the thing tried to pull her back into the stairwell. After nine rounds, the thing fell limp, slithering back into the stairwell, where the rest of it - Misato shuddered to imagine what the mouth must be like - was surely waiting.

"I'm in hell," she gasped, slamming the stairwell door shut and backing up until she hit the wall, "literally in hell." A flicker of movement caught her eye and she turned, staring out the window with open shock on her face.

It was raining.

And it's night time, she thought, glancing at her watch in disbelief, Five forty and it's already full dark! Impossible!!

She swallowed as a soft hiss sounded behind her. Slowly turning around, she found herself face to face with yet another nightmare. "Oh god," she groaned, "what is that. what is that?!"

It looked somewhat like a toad, she thought absently, if toads grew to be five feet long. Its squat form was covered not in warts. but in small, blinking eyes, and its gaping maw was lined with razor-sharp, glistening fangs.

Far beyond the point of shock, Misato gave a weary sigh. "Alright," she muttered, "let's do it then."

She fell back, barely dodging to the side as the creature's tongue lashed out, smashing into the wall behind her and tearing a large chunk of wood from the stylized panelling. Misato cried out, bringing her gun around and firing off a round. Four, she thought dizzily, Four shots left - damn it, I should have reloade-

"Wuff."

The air left her lungs in a rush as the creature's tongue whipped back around, catching her in the midsection. Staggering back, Misato brought her gun up and clicked off two more rounds. Three, two, she thought, struggling to regain her breath as the creature shrieked in agony, one of its eyes vanishing in a cloud of blood-red mist.

It lunged, catching her off guard and knocking her into the wall, the back of her head rebounding off the hard, unyielding wood with a dull thump. The world went grey for a moment as Misato fought to stay conscious. "One," she coughed, raising her gun - which felt as if it weighed a ton - and firing again.

"Zero."

Grey faded into black as she pulled the trigger one last time, aiming for the creature's wide open jaws. Her decent into darkness was not quiet or peaceful, it was filled with screams and crashes, and the sound of thunder, booming over and over right in front of her until finally. there was only silence.

**

Misato groaned as she came back to consciousness, too dazed to feel any kind of real surprise at still being alive. What. happened.? she thought, sitting up and glancing around wildly for the toad-like creature.

"Ow!"

She clutched her head as the sudden movement made it throb. I'm alive, she thought dazedly, at least. I think I am. She looked around, finding that she was laid out on a small apartment's bedroom, a light blanket covering her from her feet to her neck. No, this isn't nice enough to be Heaven, she thought dully, and since I'm already in the other place.

She reached for her gun as the door to the bedroom door started creaking open, but it was not in its holster.

Oh this is just perfect, she thought, frantically casting about for a weapon, I killed the thing then staggered into this apartment, dropping my gun along the way. and now I'm going to die - in bed, of all places!

Finally settling for a small tape deck on the nightstand next to the bed, Misato staggered to her feet, bracing herself to fight.

"Oh, now there's a scary sight," a familiar voice chuckled, "are you going to Beethoven me to death?"

Misato's jaw dropped open. "You!"

"Me," the woman in front of her replied, running a hand through her blonde hair as she stepped into the room, "you can call me Natsuko Takeuchi, I guess. everyone else around here does."

Misato seemed not to hear her. Plus one, she thought suddenly, Natsuko Takeuchi plus one.

Seeing the look in her old friends eyes, the woman named Natsuko nodded. "Yes," she said, answering the unspoken question, "he's here. somewhere. I've been trying to find him for some time now."

Taking a deep breath, Misato stumbled forward a step and put her free hand on the woman's shoulder, forgetting to drop the tape player. "It really is you," she said weakly, afraid that she might have been hallucinating.

Natsuko smiled ironically. "Hello, Misato," she said softly, "welcome to Hell - confirmed human population: you, me, and Shinji."

Misato just nodded dumbly, giving the only reply she could think of.

"Hello, Ritsuko."

TBC


	3. Back to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After bumping into Ritsuko its then Misato learns more of what had happened to Shinji but also continues her search for Shinji.

Chapter 2 – Back to School

"Well Misato, it's been a while."

Though dishevelled, Ritsuko seemed genuinely glad to see Misato. She gave the woman a slightly cautious smile, as if only now allowing herself to believe that the Operations Director was there, and offered her hand out for a shake.

Misato, who was very glad to see a familiar face, took the proffered hand and shook it with great relief. "How did you get here?" she blurted.

Several things were beginning to make sense in her mind – like how Shinji might have been able to get out of Japan. However… there was still so much she did not understand, and she fervently hoped the blonde could shed some illumination on her confusion-clouded state.

"I escaped from my cell with a little help from Maya Ibuki," Ritsuko explained, reaching into a box of shotgun shells situated on the nightstand and feeding them one by one into the pump-action Smith and Wesson cradled comfortably in her arms. "Never would have guessed her for the aiding and abetting type, but anyway, I stumbled across Shinji alone in the Kobe station, dressed in some dirty jeans and a stolen sweat shirt…" Her eyes grew far off as she remembered. "He looked so lost, Misato," she murmured softly, "with dust streaked in his hair to hide its colour and huge dark circles under his eyes. I had planned to escape on my own and go somewhere Gen- the Commander would never find me, but when I saw Shinji," she shrugged and finished loading the weapon, "I stopped dead in my tracks, like a deer in the headlights, you know? Sometimes he just has that look that I can't say no to…"

"Yeah," Misato whispered as the woman trailed off, clearly at a loss for words, "yeah, I understand."

"He told me that he just couldn't take it anymore," Ritsuko continued, her tone level and serious though her hand was shaking slightly as she rested the shotgun against her leg and leaned against the wall, "he wanted to be as far away from NERV as possible and just have a normal life, and since our goals were in line, well…" she shrugged once more.

"What exactly did you tell the landlord about him when you moved here?" Misato asked awkwardly, deciding that she would get the details of the journey to America at a quieter (and safer) time. "Did you say he was your son or what?"

Ritsuko smirked. "My younger brother actually," she said dryly, "just because I act more mature than you doesn't make me mother material."

Misato gave a weak chuckle. "Right…" she hesitated for a moment, not truly wanting the answer to the question she was about to ask… but as the silence spun on, she found that she had no choice, and the one person that might have some idea was in right front of her.

"So umm… what the hell is going on here, Ritsuko?"

"I have no idea," the blonde replied immediately, "everything was normal yesterday, and when I woke up this morning it was like this. It's as if everyone vanished into thin air." She sighed, hefting the shotgun onto her shoulder. "I went to look for Shinji but he wasn't in his room. I don't know where he could be, Misato – all I can hope is that he managed to find a way out of town, because this place is a death-trap." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I know one thing though – he is not in this building. I've searched the place from top to bottom and the only person I've seen is you…"

With a start, Misato remembered the thing that had been looming over her, but before she could speak, Ritsuko grinned. "Don't worry," she said, coolly patting the shotgun, "it's dead."

"What was it?!" Misato asked, shivering as she envisioned those rows of sharp little teeth.

"Some kind of mutated frog, I guess," Ritsuko said thoughtfully, "I didn't really spend a lot of time studying its structure."

"Thank God!" Misato shivered, "A couple more seconds and you could have studied its eating habits too."

Ritsuko gave her friend a grim smile. "We may have had our differences in the past," she said quietly, "but even I'm not that cold."

Finding no other words to express herself, Misato simply whispered, "Thanks, Ritsuko." Spotting her handgun on the nightstand, Misato retrieved it and checked the clip. "So if Shinji's not here," she said, trying to sound business like in spike of the quaver in her voice, "where could he be?"

"Well," Ritsuko murmured, "He made a few friends here but I highly doubt he would be at any of their houses, what with all the people disappearing."

"Could he be at school?" asked Misato, slipping her gun back into its holster – and deciding it definitely felt better there. "I mean, you said he wanted to have a normal life, and normal life means high school, right?"

"I can't see him heading off to school in this kind of fog," Ritsuko pointed out, pushing away from the wall and heading into the living room, "but as strange as this all is, I guess it's possible that it wasn't like this in the morning." She gave Misato a bland smile. "Today's my off day, so I slept in."

"And I'm glad you did," Misato said honestly, noting with mixed thankfulness and curiosity how easily the other woman held the weapon in her hands.

"Let's go take a look," Ritsuko suggested, "we're not getting anywhere standing around-"

"Hey Ritsuko?"

"Hmm?"

Misato stared at the floor for a minute before whispering, "Why is this so important to you? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here… but you've never really been that close to Shinji."

Ritsuko averted her eyes. "When we were on the plane over here," she said softly, "he fell asleep with his head on my shoulder." She raised her head, almost managing to meet the other woman's gaze before pulling her eyes away once more. "As I watched him sleep, I made him – and myself – a promise… that I would make up for all the pain his father and everyone else caused him."

"Oh," Misato said uncomfortably, shifting from one foot to the other.

A thick silence fell, and the two women decided that maybe it was best to leave it unbroken for now. As they stepped out of the apartment they both noticed that the corridor was perfectly normal… no blood… no grime… no monsters – nothing. Misato glanced around in confusion, wondering if maybe Ritsuko had carried her to a different floor, but the sign on the stairwell definitely read 4.

Worry about it later, her mind advised as they made their way to the foyer, best not to think about where everything went or why it's not dark anymore or what happened to the rain… just… just don't think until you're gone.

Pulling out her map, she noted that Silent Hill High was up at the corner of Bradbury and Ellroy – less than four blocks away from the Lonsdale Apartments.

"If it isn't rain, it's fog," she muttered as they started off, "man, I think I prefer our non-stop summer to this crap."

At her side, Ritsuko just smiled.

**

Wandering through the fog shrouded streets, Misato was taken again by the barrenness of the city. It's like that one town, oh God what was the name of it again? she thought, glancing idly at a car with its drivers side gaping wide open. Was it Jonestown? That doesn't sound right, but I remember reading about that one place where the whole population just vanished – dinner still on the table and everything. She shivered. They never found any bod-

"Do you hear something?"

She came up short as Ritsuko tilted her head to the side, listening intently.

Misato frowned. "It sounds like…" her eyes widened. "Flapping! Come on!!" Without waiting for a reply, she dashed off in the direction of the school, trying to look everywhere at once. "The front door's open, let's go!"

As the flapping sound grew louder, Misato put on a burst of speed, hitting the school's front door with a bang and whirling around to cover her friend's retreat.

"Come… on?"

The street behind her was empty.

"Ritsuko?"

Everything was still and quiet. The flapping sound had faded away to nothing, as had the sound of feet hitting pavement… there was only Misato's harsh breathing to break the silence. Crap! she thought angrily, sweeping the desolate street with her pistol. We must have gotten separated…

"Ritsuko you idiot," she hissed, keeping her voice low to avoid attracting any unwanted attention.

She briefly considered heading out into the fog to search for her friend, but quickly discarded the idea. She probably went around to another door, she reasoned, I would have heard her shooting if she was being attacked…

A shiver ran her spin as she considered that the woman might not have had time to get a shot off. "If that happened," she whispered, feeling horrified by her own rationale, "then it's too late anyway…"

Cold all over, the purple haired woman started to turn back towards the open door… but she paused as she spotted a dim shape in the fog. Is that…? Taking a cautious step forward, she barely contained a cry of joy.

In the school's parking lot stood an empty police cruiser with the letters SHPD emblazed on the side. Its windows and doors standing wide open, and a pump action shotgun was laying across the front seat like a Christmas present waiting for a good little girl to come play with it. Misato snatched the weapon up, still scanning the streets for any sign of movement, and popped the glove compartment open. "Must be my lucky day," she whispered giddily, finding a full box of shells for the shotgun, a handful of AA batteries, and a small, silver crucifix.

She took everything, distributing it amongst her flight jacket's numerous pockets, and grabbed the CB mic from where it was resting on the dash. As she raised it to her lips, however, she noticed that the cord had been yanked from the dash… and as she took a step back, sure that she had heard a noise behind her, her eyes landed on a rather sizable patch of dried blood on the ground next to the driver's side – unseen in her haste to find a better weapon than the one she already had.

Slowly, Misato pulled the cross out of her pocket.

"Hope you don't mind if I borrow this," she whispered, carefully stepping around the patch of blood, "but I need all the help I can get, you know? I… I have to find him."

Misato shook her head. I'm talking… to a spot of blood, she thought, quickly checking the shotgun's breech. Time to get going…

With a final glance at the squad car, she slung the shotgun up on her shoulder and strode into the high school.

**

Misato wandered aimlessly through the school, looking through the classrooms and offices for any sign of her misplaced charge. Guess I shouldn't be surprised, she thought tiredly as another room proved empty, no one in the convenience store… no one in the apartment building… no one on the streets – where IS everyone? Did those… things get them ALL?

She wondered suddenly why there were no bodies. If they are all dead, she thought uneasily, pausing to look into an open locker, where are they? I mean, those things DO look like they could eat a person alive – hell, they tried to eat me! – but shouldn't there be something left? Bones at least? And this isn't the biggest town, but there's probably at least a few thousand people here – I don't think those monsters could have killed EVERYONE that fast…

Misato frowned, biting her lip as she considered this situation further. "And Ritsuko said everything was quiet when she woke up," she muttered, "if they killed everyone in that apartment building, someone would have screamed – and even Ritsuko doesn't sleep that deeply!"

She shook her head angrily. I can't be wasting be time thinking about this now! she told herself, Shinji could be here and he might need my help!

Misato made her way through the rest of the school, finally finding herself at the exit to the roof. "He wouldn't be stupid enough to go up here," she muttered, laying a hand on the doorknob, "not if he saw those monsters running around and caught a glimpse of all this fog – he'd go somewhere safe, right?" She sighed, pushing the door open and stepping through nonetheless. "Better safe than sor-"

Suddenly, an unearthly scream pierced the air – rising so high and so fast that Misato clapped her hands over her ears and cried out in surprise and fear, instinctively closing her eyes. Abruptly, the scream was silenced, replaced by the soft patter of-

"Rain…?"

Misato opened her eyes… but nothing could prepare her for the sight she saw.

The metal on the fence was rusted, even though she swore it was not in that condition a minute ago, and she barely contained a scream of her own as she turned back towards the door… for on the fence, less than three feet from her, was a corpse. Misato covered her mouth as she felt her gorge rising, unable to look away from the horror before her. 

Is it a man… or a woman??

This was the first thought that flew into Misato's head, for honestly… she could not tell. The face and genital regions – as well as the rest of the body – had been so badly traumatized that she could hardly even identify it as human. The worst aspect, however was the thing's mouth.

Someone had shorn the lips and eyelids from the face, leaving a leering, skull like grin comprised of bloodied and cracked teeth and vacant, muddy blue eyes.

With a sharp cry of disgust, and the horrifying feeling that the corpse was somehow accusing her with its dull, lidless stare, Misato darted back into the school, slamming the door behind her resting her back up against it. "Oh God," she sobbed, "oh God, I just want out of here!"

Get a hold of yourself! she thought firmly, If you go all to pieces, Shinji's as good as dead! Ritsuko too! Now take a deep breath… stop whining… and go find them, damn it!

Taking her own advice, Misato pushed back from the door… but she came up short as she realized that she was standing in pitch darkness. "What the…?"

She clicked on the small flashlight, her jaw falling open as she found the stairwell in the same state as she had first seen the Lonsdale apartments: grimy, rundown, and smelling strongly of, blood, death, and decay – a total opposite to the clean, if empty, hall she had left when she opened the door to the rooftop.

What the hell is up with this place!? Misato wondered, her grip on her gun tightening as she realized that she now had to trust her life to the narrow flashlight beam and a pair of guns with limited ammunition.

Against an army of demonic monsters, in a place of total darkness where the air reeked of death and decay personified… she did not give herself very good odds.

"No use standing around," she told herself, wondering why she was not screaming at the top of her lungs.

Must be getting used to it, she reasoned, edging carefully down the stairs. That or I've finally gone off the deep end.

Peering around the corner, Misato found herself face to face with one of the small child-like creatures. For several seconds, the two stared at one another, too stunned to move… then the creature hissed and raised its right hand, revealing a large butcher knife – and Misato was moving.

Throwing herself to the right, she brought the shotgun up, firing it point-blank into the creature's chest and taking a certain amount of cruel pleasure from the dismayed squawk it uttered as it fell on its back and began writhing around, clearly in agony. "Nice try," Misato whispered, getting shakily to her feet and drawing her pistol, "but I think you're going to have to let Hell know I won't be joining you for a little while, my friend."

The nine millimetre's report was muffled and somehow flat as Misato aimed it at the creature's head and pulled the trigger, but as she always said, results are what mattered, and since the thing immediately stilled, she was not about to complain.

Not pausing to savour her victory, Misato glanced around at the rusty grating and filthy, rotten wood that surrounded her. Better get out of here, she told herself, Shinji's not…

She let the thought trail off, afraid of where it might lead her, and peeked into one of the classrooms, grimacing as she found it decrepit and foul, with the chairs and desks in such a state of disrepair that they seemed 100 years old. Even the bars on the windows (cause enough for raised eyebrows) were rusted, lending to the atmosphere of decay and abandonment.

Misato let the door close and shook her head. "Just get out," she commanded herself, heading for the stairwell, "don't… think."

She managed to make it to the front door with only minor difficulty, encountering and finishing off a handful of the child-like creatures along the way… and counting every spent shell and bullet like a nail in her own coffin. At this rate I'll need to use one of these, she thought grimly, stooping to pick up one of the child-monster's butcher knives.

"Damn it," she muttered, her shoulders slumping as she beheld the heavy chain that had somehow managed to find its way around the school's door levers. "Guess I need to find the back door."

She glanced at the small windows around the door, but sighed and turned away as she realized that even if she could pry the bars off of them, she would never be able to force her body through the small opening. Maybe Rei, she thought suddenly, but not me.

Misato frowned as she started off down the corridor. "Now why did I think of-"

She whirled around as a footstep echoed behind her, but her eyes found nothing in the darkness. Shaking off the impression that if she had just been a second faster she would have seen the First Child, Rei Ayanami, Misato hurried off in the opposite direction, wondering where she would go after she got out of the school.

**

"Damn, this place is a nightmare," Misato said, her voice shaking and unsteady as she pulled her newest weapon from the throat of another of the beak creatures she had killed in the convenience store. It had come at her from nowhere; not giving her the chance to bring her shotgun to bear, and it had only been a stroke of luck that she had been examining the knife's odd handle when it had pounced.

Wincing, she kicked the creature – more out of spite than the idea that it might still be a danger – and brought her left arm into the flashlight's beam, taking stock of the small injury the creature had managed to inflict.

My jacket took most of the hit, she thought critically, rolling up her sleeve to get a better look at the thin cut in her skin, but better safe than sorry – who knows what kind of infections these things could carry??

Misato looked around, blinking as she found herself less than five feet from a door marked simply 'infirmary.'

"Well how do you like that?"

Trading the knife to her other hand and readying her pistol, she pushed the door open and let the flashlight illuminate the small room. Immediately something caught her eye, scrambling across the floor and under the bed. Misato pulled the trigger three times, cursing as each shot dug up a small chunk of linoleum, passing wide of her intended target.

"Guess we do this the hard way," she muttered grimly. 

Unslinging the shotgun from her shoulder and cocking it with one hand, she dropped to her knees, bearing down on the trigger even as she brought her eyes in line with the creature under the bed.

"NO!!"

Misato was so surprised at hearing another human voice that her whole body jerked, the shotgun going off with an angry bang, as if frustrated that it was denied its pray. "H-hello?" she called cautiously, unclipping the flashlight from her pocket and aiming it under the bed.

The beam played not on a creature, but on an ordinary little girl, her brown eyes wide with shock and fright. "N-no!" the girl cried, cringing away from the light. "Don't… don't come near me!!"

"Hey, hey!" Misato said quickly, setting the shotgun within easy reach and holding out her hand. "I'm not going to hurt you… promise."

The girl's eyes widened as she looked into Misato's face, and as the realization that she was looking at a fellow human, she scrambled out of her hiding place and dove into the woman's arms, sobbing hysterically. "I thought you… and I… we were… oh GOD!!"

Misato just gaped. How did she stay alive? she thought incredulously, pushing back a bit to get a better look at her. She estimated that the girl was about 14 or 15 years old, with short brown hair and scared, but clear brown eyes. At a guess, Misato pegged her at about 100 pounds and five foot four inches. She's gonna be tall, she thought idly.

"I thought I was all alone," the girl sniffled, starting to get herself under control, but quickly losing it again as something somewhere in the building howled. "Ma'am, what's happening? Where is everyone? I'm scared!!"

"I don't know," Misato confessed, mentally cursing her poor English skills. "Things were like this when I got here."

Poor kid, she thought sympathetically, she's as in the dark about what's going here as I am – and she can't be a day older then 15, either! Looking into the girl's tear-streaked, terrified face, Misato came to a conclusion. I need to get her out of here too… I don't think I could live with myself if I just left her to die…

"I'm Misato," she said, speaking carefully to be understood, "Misato Katsuragi."

"I'm Amber…Amber Donnelly," answered the girl, wiping briefly at her tears and taking deep, hitching breaths to calm down. After several moments she gave Misato a timid smile. "Um…you're Japanese right?"

"Hai," Misato replied, giving the girl a small smile.

Encouraged, the girl finally released her. "We just got a new transfer student in a little while back," she said, seeming thankful to have a mundane topic of conversation, "His name is Shinji Takeuchi – he's Japanese too."

"Yes!" Misato cried out, making the girl jump, "I know him – I'm looking for him! Do you know where he could be? I figured he might be here, but I can't find him anywhere…"

Amber shook her head. "I don't know, ma'am," she said sheepishly, "I've been wandering the school for hours, and everyone's gone… I'm sorry."

Misato sighed. Well this was a big bust! she thought sullenly. Ritsuko's pretty resourceful, so I'm sure she's ok… but this girl…

"Are there any other ways out?"

Amber nodded. "The doors won't open – I tried – but there's a fire exit in the gym…" she blushed suddenly. "I heard something moving around in there, so I… I couldn't go in. I'm sorry."

"That's nothing to be sorry about," Misato said, rising from her crouch and reaching out to take Amber's hand, "Hell, I almost couldn't bring myself to come in here to look for some alcho-"

Before she could finish her thought, the tiny window in the infirmary burst in, showering them both with fragments of glass. Amber took one look at the squirming thing on the floor and tore her hand from Misato's, uttering a terrified scream as she dashed out of the room.

Don't, Misato thought, bringing her shotgun to bear as she barely checked herself from chasing after the girl, let her go for now or this thing will tear you BOTH apart.

She cocked the weapon and began backing towards the wall, looking in vain for a head of some sort… but there was none – instead, the thing's chest was split, rows of jagged teeth, glistening with unspeakable saliva gleaming dully in the light from her flashlight. In the seconds before it roared, Misato noted that it vaguely resembled a huge dog… though instead of fur, it was covered in brown, rotten looking flesh, like a canine zombie that was all mouth.

Misato felt her sanity slip as its mouth gaped wide open and it let out a terrible, bone-jarring cry – like a razor blade on a car's hood. 

"Bad dog!"

Without even thinking, Misato did what you do with bad dogs – you discipline. Only her discipline was manufactured by Smith and Wesson in 12 gage doses, and she delivered them directly into the 'dog's mouth.

As the creature uttered another howl, Misato turned and bolted. Play dead, she thought hysterically, praying that she had at least incapacitated the thing, roll over… bad dog – BAD DOG!!

She sprinted down the dark corridors, cocking the shotgun as she went. "Amber!" she cried, glancing around wildly for any sign of the girl… but she was alone.

Great, she thought, taking the next corner at a dead run, God, please let the girl have enough sense to head for the gym – we have GOT to go!

Taking her own advice, she dashed down the hall and into the gym, slipping on the tiles and falling on her rear with a breathless thud.

"Tile…?"

Somehow, impossibly, the centre of the gym was occupied by a huge, rippling pool, its exact dimensions hidden in the dark, but clearly not 'Olympic standard.' I don't… smell chlorine, she thought, far past the point of being surprised by anything as mundane as having a pool in the gymnasium.

Misato rose carefully to her feet, feeling her stomach turn over as the dark water lapped fitfully at the edges of the pool. Whatever fluid was in the pool… it was not water, and she had to fight to keep from throwing up as she realized that the liquid had a dimly red tinge to it, as if it was full of-

"Don't… think…"

Skirting the pool as best she could, Misato kept repeating this simple mantra over and over again. No thinking, yes, she thought, keeping her eyes straight ahead as she made her way towards the far side, best not to think. Don't think if you want to stay sane, don't think if you want to live, don't think if you… what was that…?

She froze as a soft 'splish,' echoed in the darkness five feet from her.

"No," she whispered, half horrified, half angry, "oh come on! I'm five feet from the damn door!!"

The thing rising up from the pool did not seem to pay her mad complaint any mind. First one tentacle rose from the surface of the murky liquid, feeling blindly around on the rim, then another joined the first, helping it hoist the remainder of the creature onto the 'shore' with a disgustingly wet thump. It looked almost human, Misato decided, if you tilted your head to the side and pretended that it had arms and legs instead of tentacles.

Maybe it was once, she thought deliriously, bringing the shotgun up as the tentacles where the head should have been swayed in her direction, as if scenting the air to find her location.

"Fuck it."

Pushing away from the wall, Misato pulled the trigger, feeling elation wash over her as one of the tentacles was vaporized… the feeling vanished as two more tentacles took the place of the ruined one, all of them darting out in an attempt to catch her.

"Ahh!!" Misato let out a dismayed scream as one of the tentacles found her, wrapping around her waist and bearing down. "N-no," she gasped, struggling in the thing's grip and bringing her shotgun around as another tentacle found her left leg.

Trying to… pull me apart… she thought dizzily, feeling more breath leaving her lungs as the thing increased the pressure of its squeezing. Not… gonna… die here!!

Forcing her lungs to draw in more breath, Misato screamed, levelling the gun at the thing's waiting mouth and pumping off seven shots in rapid succession. Her effort seemed successful as the creature's tongue disappeared. Making a gurgling screech, it released her, dropping her on the floor with a sharp thump and falling back towards the water. A moment before it hit, however, a bright light flashed behind Misato's eyes, blinding her.

Gun, she thought desperately, fumbling to get her pistol free of its holster as she drew deep, thankful lungfuls of air, can't let it… get me…

Misato blinked as she realized that the floor under her hands was indeed floor… and the horrid stench that had filled her nostrils was replaced with the dull fragrance of dust and floor polish. Slowly, the world swam back into view, and as she freed her weapon she finally grasped the fact that she was in a gymnasium – a real gymnasium, complete with hardwood, basketball hoops, and a wonderful, glorious… exit sign.

Quickly, she got to her feet, gathering up the shotgun from where she dropped it and racing too the exit.

Better safe than sorry, after all.

Once outside, she allowed herself a few steadying breaths, taking the time to slide more shells into the shotgun. "Four…?" she muttered, reaching into her pocket and finding only one left. "Damn it – they must have fallen when I was-"

Fighting a demon? she thought as her mouth snapped closed. Which one? The octopus one, or the dog from Hell, hmm? Well at least the other stuff is still there… but still no Shinji – where else could I look? Think, god damn it, THINK!!

"Police station!" It was as if a light bulb went off over her head. "He'd go to a police station," she told herself firmly, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the map, "He's got to be there! It's the only place that makes sense… and since this is a police shotgun, I can probably get some more shells for it – and they probably have a first aid kit for this scratch! It's perfect!" She noted the location of the police department and slipped the map back into her pocket.

I'm coming, Shinji…

It being full night by now, Misato had no choice but to rely on the flashlight once more, though now that she knew what to listen for, she was able to avoid several more of the winged creatures and two of the beaked monsters, making it to the police station without incident and (thankfully) without coming across Ritsuko's mangled body.

Silver lining to every cloud I guess, she thought, slipping into the police department's front door with a sigh of relief. Though there were no police officers around, it was still comforting for her to be in a building dedicated to fighting crimes and righting wrongs. I could have been a cop, she told herself, looking around for any sign of her wayward charge, who knows, maybe I still can be after I reti-

A soft rustling from the squad room drew her attention.

"Shinji?" she whispered hopefully, starting towards the room as stealthily as she could – just in case it was not him… or human.

Peering around the corner, she spied a man sitting at one of the officer's desks. From where she stood, Misato could see that he wore heavily tinted glasses and had short dark hair and a beard, other than that, the only other detail she could make out was the old-fashioned pistol in his right hand… and the dead child-monster at his feet.

She gave a start as he abruptly raised his head, taking note of her for the first time.

After a moment of staring, the man cleared his throat. "Good evening."

Staring into his eyes, Misato thought that it most likely… would be anything but.

TBC


	4. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato encounters a few other people in Silent Hill including one she didn't expect to meet.

Chapter 3 - Meetings

Misato simply stared at the man in front of her. What on earth is HE doing here?! she thought, finding no RATIONAL reason that the commander of NERV, Gendou Ikari, would be standing in the middle of the police station on the outskirts of downtown Nowhere USA.

Then again, not much had been rational since she had arrived.

I'll bet he's not here looking for Shinji, she thought, assessing the man closely, maybe he's after Ritsuko?

This explanation made a bit more sense. After all, Gendou did not seem like the kind of man to take betrayal easily, and Ritsuko had definitely betrayed him. Misato also seemed to recall hearing whispered rumours of a planned 'backup program,' involving brainwashing the EVA pilots should they prove uncooperative - so she sincerely doubted that his son's welfare was at the front of his thoughts. This concept was reinforced by the vivid memory of Shinji's scream of agony at seeing the pilot of Unit 03, Touji Suzuhara, pulled from his shattered entry plug after his father's cold-hearted activation of Unit 01's Dummy Plug autopilot system.

No, Misato decided, Gendou was definitely not the kind of man to trek halfway around the world for one errant boy - be it his son or God himself.

Too much silence…

"Hello Commander," Misato blurted, finding that she really had no other opening.

"Major," the man replied coolly, his gun staying barrel down, but at the ready. "Would you be so kind as to give me a status update? Or to put it a bit more bluntly - what the hell is going on here?"

"I don't know sir," Misato confessed, "it was like this when I got here." She hesitated only a second. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't ask you that, her mind whispered, he's too cool about all this - be careful…

"I was on my way to inspect the new American branch of NERV when my car was rammed off the road by a police cruiser," Gendou said smoothly. "My bodyguard was killed in the crash," he elaborated as he slid off the desk and tucked his pistol into his jacket.

"New branch?" Misato asked uncertainly.

"It was need to know only," Gendou replied calmly, "you did not need to know."

They stared at each other for a moment in silence, then Misato whispered, "Well, you'd better leave town, sir… it isn't safe here."

Training is a hard thing to break, I guess, she thought ironically, scum sucking bastard from hell or not, he's still The Commander, and if - WHEN - I get out of here, I'll still have to work with him… at least until I turn in my resignation. New branch my ass!

Yes, she decided as the man studied her over the top of his glasses, a resignation sounded just peachy to her at that moment.

"Indeed," the Commander said belatedly, "good luck then, Major."

Misato kept her face neutral as the man headed for the door, keeping her eyes on him until he had made his exit. Gendou, she noticed, did the same, watching her from the corner of his eyes as if hoping she would drop her guard and leave him an opening to-

To what? her mind chided, Attack you? The COMMANDER?? This place is getting to you, Katsuragi. She frowned as she looked down at the creature on the floor. No, she thought darkly, no, I don't think I was out of line for treating him like a possible enemy - for God's sake, the man barely blinked… and he was just too damn cool about everything!

She shook off the feeling that the man was still in the room with her and did a quick search of the room, turning up a spare clip for her pistol, several girly magazines, a half eaten ham sandwich, and thankfully - a small medical kit.

Applying a liberal amount of antibiotic ointment to the cut on her arm, Misato looked around the room. Looks like they were working on a pretty big case, she thought, pausing in her assessment to wipe some of the excess ointment away and peal the backing off of an oversized bandage. Drug trafficking? In a resort town? I guess it makes sense - hook the tourists and keep 'em coming back for more… but what is 'White Claudia'? I've never heard of a plant with that-

A soft click behind her made her whirl around, spilling the contents of the first aid kit all over the desk. She stared in silence at the long barrel of a standard-issue police assault rifle, held by a standard-issue American police officer. The man was of medium height, with blue eyes, blonde hair, and a neatly trimmed blonde moustache.

Misato noticed that he wore a small, tin star with the word 'sheriff' etched in it just over his regular badge.

"Sorry about that," the man said, slowly lowering his weapon, "I thought you were another one of those monsters." He extended his right hand, keeping his left wrapped firmly around the stock of his rifle. "Aaron Fletcher - I'm the chief of police around here."

Misato cautiously took his hand, flinching slightly as he shook her hand firmly, the thick muscles of his upper arm rippling slightly under his too-tight shirt. "Misato Katsuragi," she murmured in her best English, reclaiming her hand and discretely rubbing it to regain some of the circulation, "Operations Director for NERV."

"NERV?" Fletcher arched an eyebrow, "You here to check out the new branch over in Hartford?"

"Y-yeah," Misato lied with only a small hesitation, "just… got a little sidetracked."

Why is it, she thought suddenly, that everyone else knows about this 'new' American branch but me? And why isn't he more concerned?!

Misato found her hand drifting to rest on the butt of her pistol as it dawned on her that the chief of police had not once asked her if she was ok - in spite of the fact that he knew there were monsters in his town.

Fletcher clarified this by smoothly asking, "Don't suppose you passed any of my officers while you were out there, did you? They all have orders to direct any stragglers to come here for shelter… but so far, you're the first person to turn up."

Misato relaxed slightly. "I saw a cruiser over by the school, but no one was in it," she said calmly, wondering why she was so edgy around this laid-back official.

"I see," Fletcher nodded sagely, "well, I better go check that out. You should stay here… wait for me to get back."

"Absolutely," Misato said, trying to inject a note of relief into her voice, "thank you sheriff."

Fletcher laughed, glancing down at the tin star and shaking his head. "My kid gave me this," he chuckled, "couple weeks before his mother took him over to Brahms to stay with her mother."

Another broken family, Misato thought, feeling a bit more empathetic towards the man, guess it's everywhere these days. You'd think people would want to stay together, with the whole damn world falling apart and everything… sometimes all we have is the people we care for.

"Stay put now," Fletcher said lightly, giving Misato a brief salute, "you look like you can take care of yourself… but leave this to me and my people, ma'am - we'll take care of you."

"Yes sir," Misato returned the salute, letting her smile stay in place until the man had made his way to the door and slipped out. "I'll stay right here until I see if there's anything else I need to help me find Shinji."

**

Misato searched the police station as thoroughly as she could, but unfortunately she found the armoury securely locked with a computer-coded touchpad, and seeing as things electronic no longer seemed to work (and she did not have the keycode) trying to open the thick door was a futile exercise. The garage, however, yielded spare ammunition for both her pistol and shotgun and, oddly, three more small, silver crosses, exactly like the one she had found by the abandoned cruiser near the school.

Strange… she thought, cupping the crosses in her palm for a moment before slipping them instinctively into her pocket. Must be a hell of a religious town.

Wandering back through the station, she found herself in front of a small wooden door marked simply 'chief.' "Well mister Fletcher," she murmured, taking a quick look around to ensure that the man had not slipped in at some point, "let's see what you have to hide."

It was quite a letdown. Other than a very tidy desk, a comfortable looking chair, and a row of six, four-by-six-inch picture frames on the windowsill, the chief of police had a very unexciting office. None of his drawers yielded anything more interesting than a box of thumbtacks and a bottle of aspirin (which she pocketed), and all of the papers on the man's desk pertained to speeding tickets and complaints of dogs barking too loud.

With a sigh, she threw herself into his chair, reclining the seat and lacing her hands behind her head. "Nice looking family you have, Sheriff," she commented quietly, unconsciously deciding that this would be the way she referred to him as she surveyed the row of photos, "too bad you couldn't hold it together." She frowned. "What's that…?"

She let the chair rock forward, rolling it closer to the windowsill. Her frown deepened as she found a seventh picture lying face down in a small dusting of broken glass, a small drop of blood - still wet - gracing the sill directly in front of it.

"Temper, temper…"

Slowly, Misato lifted the frame, fully expecting to find the chief of police shaking hands with the devil, or something equally as shocking… but the picture in the frame was mundane - just a picture of a small, towheaded boy with peanut butter and jelly smeared across his grinning face. With a sigh, Misato began to put the picture back down, but she paused as her sharp eyes picked up another detail.

Now why… she thought, frowning as she examined the picture a bit closer. The boy, she realized, was being held by someone just off camera. She could see a sweater-clad arm wrapped loosely around the boy's waist… but for some reason, a small square had been cut from the photo, obscuring most of the person's hand.

"Huh," Misato mused, turning the frame over in her hands and examining it from every angle, "strange…"

She shook herself. I'm wasting time - none of this is helping me find Shinji.

Setting the picture back down she twisted the chair back to face the desk and rose to her feet, but as she moved, she felt something brush the top of her leg. Lowering herself back down, she reached under the desk, her questioning hand encountering cool leather and rough packing tape.

With a grunt of effort, Misato pulled the tape free and retrieved her prize - an ordinary looking brown wallet. "Well that was hardly worth it," she muttered dryly, staring into the empty billfold, "just an old credit card receipt and an address."

Then again, she thought with a sudden wave of tiredness, has anything been 'just' this or that since I got here??

Setting the wallet to the side, she unfolded the credit card receipt, frowning as she found a very innocuous book title alongside the sales price of $.05.

"'The Growth Patterns of New England Wildflowers,'" she read aloud, shaking her head as she puzzled over the price. "Why put five cents on credit??"

Still confused, she pocketed the receipt and read the address, feeling a chill wash over her as she looked at the street - Asimov - alongside a single, Kanji character… Sakura.

I never was too good at handwriting analysis, she thought, running her forefinger slowly over the character, but… I'd swear this is Shinji's.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she pulled out her map, scanning for the location of the bookstore. "Sakura blossoms are pink," she muttered, trying very hard to convince herself that she was not grasping at straws, "maybe White Claudia looks like - damn it!" She slammed her fist down on the desk. "What does this mean!? Why would Shinji be writing notes to the police chief about flowers? He can't be involved in that drug business, can he? No way! He would never let himself be forced to-"

She took a deep breath, trying her best to calm down. God, just be alive… that's all that REALLY matters.

**

The walk to the bookstore was tense, but uneventful. Though nothing came out of the fog to attack her, Misato still walked as fast as she could while still staying quiet, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the far-off, reverberating howl of a dog.

Or at least, what she hoped was a dog.

"This town is gonna be the death of me," she groaned, wishing she could laugh at her little double entendre as the bookstore came into view. She drew her pistol, approaching the front door cautiously, but as it became clear that there were no creatures lurking just out of site, she hurried inside and shut the door, heaving a sigh of relief.

Taking a moment to collect herself, she glanced around, finding herself in a cosy (if just slightly too warm) little book shop, every shelf overflowing with all manner of novels, self-help books, cookbooks, magazines, and pamphlets imaginable.

A small shelf marked, 'floral,' caught her eye.

"Let's just take a look, shall we?"

She knelt in front of the shelf, taking a quick look around to make doubly sure she was alone, and began scanning titles, mumbling under her breath until she found a small row of the book listed on the credit card receipt… but all bore small stickers reading 'marked down! Now just $4.99!'

"Huh," Misato whispered, tapping one of the books thoughtfully, "maybe it was a mistake when it was rung up? No… he wouldn't have signed it…" She rose to her feet and rested her chin in her palm, taking another look around the bookstore. "Or maybe," she said softly, "it was in a different section." She grinned to herself as her eyes happened on a small shelf tucked in the corner.

The sign over the shelf read Clearance.

With a sense of certainty, Misato strode over to the shelf and began scanning it. "Clive Barker," she muttered, "Stephen King… SD Perry… man, they're just clearing out all their horror, aren't they??"

Pushing a handful of novels aside, she found what she was looking for.

"Eww!!"

The lone copy of The Growth Patterns of New England Wildflowers was the single most disgusting book Misato had ever seen. The cover, depicting a wild rose of some sort, was so dingy and crusted with filth that Misato did not even want to touch it. On corner of the book appeared to have been chewed on by a large dog, which had apparently succeeded in cracking the spine and tearing the bottom corner of the front cover clean off.

Then there was the matter of the large clump of some brown substance clinging to the top, partially obscuring the small 'only $.05!!' sticker in the upper corner.

Why me? she thought, her fingers twitching in subconscious revulsion as she beheld the vile book. Why does stuff like this always happen to ME!?

With a pre-emptive cry of disgust, Misato let her hand shoot out and seize the book, pulling it towards her and praying that this might have an answer to at least ONE of her questions. Instead of sliding out, however, the book tilted forward, a heavy clunk echoing from some hidden mechanism behind the shelf.

With silent awe, Misato rose to her feet and watched as the clearance shelf laboriously moved to the side, exposing a narrow stone staircase.

"Now that's something you don't see every day."

Misato whirled around, relief flooding her at the familiar voice. "Ritsuko!" she cried. "Oh thank God! I thought you were dead!"

Ritsuko smiled. "I nearly was," she muttered dryly, "one of those damned winged demons dropped out of nowhere and tried to eat me, so I ran. By the time I lost it and made my way back to the school, I couldn't find you anywhere." She shrugged. "So I figured I'd just lay low in one of the houses around here until I caught my breath… then I saw you go in here, followed you, and here we are."

Misato nodded. "Did you see any sign of Shinji?" she asked bluntly.

The atmosphere of the town was wearing on her, forcing her to discard simple ideas like courtesy and manners.

Ritsuko seemed to understand. "I did see someone," she said slowly, biting her bottom lip pensively, "but I wasn't sure if it was Shinji… I was kind of far away."

"You just let him go!?" exclaimed Misato.

If possible, Ritsuko looked even more flustered. "Well, no - I didn't really have a choice!" She took a deep breath. "He was walking on thin air!"

"What??"

"You heard me," Ritsuko sighed, rubbing her eyes in a tired fashion. "I couldn't see who it was from where I was standing, but it looked like a young man with black hair… and he was walking over a twenty-five foot crevasse in Bachman Road in the direction of the lake… so, yeah, I didn't really have a chance to stop him, since I left my jetpack back at NERV!"

An awkward silence fell between the two, broken when Misato mumbled, "Sorry."

"I understand," Ritsuko said calmly, "I want to find him just as much as you do." Her eyes flicked to the stairwell. "What's this?"

"I don't know," shrugged Misato, "just found it."

Ritsuko checked her shotgun. "You want to go first, or me?"

Misato considered this for a moment, then shook her head. "You stay here and watch the entrance for me to make sure no one follows me, and I'll check it out." She hesitated, then asked, "Have you ever met the chief of police?"

"No, why?"

Misato quickly outlined her experiences in the police station, including Gendou, Fletcher, the wallet, and the little bit she understood about the drug investigation - simply because it now seemed to have a bearing on finding Shinji.

"I can see why you'd be nervous about someone sneaking up on you," Ritsuko said, looking a bit green as she considered what might happen to her if her former lover got his hands on her, "be careful."

"You too."

Misato went down the dark tunnel, snapping on her flashlight after a few feet. Someone forgot to pay the power bill, she thought grimly, I think… I'm starting to hate this town - not just dislike it or find it creepy, I actually HATE it!

After about fifteen feet, the narrow hallway opened up into a small, alcove like room… complete with what looked suspiciously like an alter whose centrepiece was an elaborately decorated brazier, carved with symbols she did not recognize, but still made her uneasy. Tapestries hung on either side of the brazier, and the floor under the altar had been painted in a rough, unhealthy looking diagram.

Kind of like the Tree of Life the Commander has on his ceiling, Misato thought, letting her eyes follow the diagram's serpentine pattern. Man, I wonder what kind of sick stuff went on here… wait, no I don't - I don't want to kn-

Her thought was cut off as the brazier suddenly flared to life, filling the room with intense heat and a sickeningly sweet, cloying fragrance - like incense left on a shelf for years. Misato felt her head swim, and she swore she could hear a loud, wailing siren, somewhere far off in the distance… calling her - DEMANDING that she heed its cry…

Back up the staircase, Ritsuko nearly jumped as she heard an odd humming sound, coming from somewhere down the stairs. "Misato?" she called cautiously, "Are you ok?"

But the only reply she received was silence.

What if something happened? Ritsuko shook her head, grasping her shotgun firmly as she walked down the steps. Making her way into the small room, she blinked in confusion. What did they worship here?? This looks like some kind of pagan religion, probably from the… she shook her head, dismissing the old, half-learned lessons on 'alternate religions' she had been subjected to in college.

"Misato!" she called, checking every corner of the room for another way to leave it… but there was nothing. Just her…the altar… and silence.

Where could she be!?

**

Misato opened her eyes with a start, quickly scrambling to her feet and casting around the room in fear. "Did I… pass out?" she whispered.

Everything seemed the same, as far as she could see, but the air somehow felt heavier - as if no one had been in this room for years and years, and everything had gone to mould. Shaking her head, she quickly made her way back up the stairs… and her jaw fell open at what she beheld. Decay that permeated the entire shop, the books that had been so warm and inviting now looked old and worm eaten. The grime that covered the walls reminded her instantly of the apartment building, as did that same horrible stench, hitting her nostrils like a hammer, and she barely contained a scream as she spotted three bodies, all carefully arranged on the rotten walls… exactly like the one she had seen on the school roof.

There was no sign of Ritsuko.

What if this is just some kind of nightmare or some kind of hallucination, she thought wildly, what if I'm in the hospital or some other shit like that… she shook her head, I don't know what's real anymore! Ritsuko was RIGHT HERE!!

Misato walked out of the bookshop and found that outside was the same story - every building she could see looked decayed and dilapidated, as if the town had been abandoned for over a century. Instead of windows she saw rusted bars, the pavement underfoot cracked and worn… and as she stood there, she distinctly heard the now-familiar sound of flapping wings, coming closer… closer…

With a cry, she broke into a run, pulling the shotgun off her shoulder as she moved and pumping a shell into the breach. I'm not going to die standing still, she swore, dashing around a corner as something slick and groaning slithered out of an alley to her right, I WILL make it out of her, damn it! I can - the house!!

Misato skidded to a halt, yanking the piece of paper with the Kanji on it out of her pocket. "Not too far," she whispered, quickly consulting her map as the flapping sound grew louder, "go… go, go, GO!!"

With all the demons of Hell (quite literally) nipping at her heals, Misato ran as fast as she could towards the small house indicated on that little slip of paper, gasping from the effort as she burst through the front door and slammed it behind her. Deciding that she was not safe enough standing by the thin, wooden portal, she hurried up to the second floor, sweeping the air in front of her with the shotgun as she moved.

Something important has to be here, she told herself firmly, making her way through the hall towards what looked like a girl's door - all decorated in pink and pop-singers. This is all related somehow, I just need to find-

She froze as a rustling sound came from the other side of the door… and the knob began to turn.

Misato brought the shotgun to eye-level and snapped the flashlight off, deciding that she would not fire until she could see the thing's head clearly. Plus it could be Ritsuko, she thought, nearly laughing at the ludicrousness of her optimism, Right, sure… and a thousand angels - real ones - will fly down from the heavens and say, 'Oh we'd love to have you! But I'm afraid you have travel arrangements already. Going down!'

She tensed as the door swung open with a small creak, and a small form shuffled out of the room… but her eyes widened in shock as she realized that the form belonged to, "Amber?!"

The girl was so shocked that the scream she seemed intent on giving came out as a muffled squeak, but once Misato snapped on the flashlight, a decidedly relieved expression washed over Amber's features, and she slumped against the doorframe, clutching her chest.

"Oh Miss Katsuragi," she gasped, immediately launching into an apology, "I'm… I'm sorry I ran off - but I was so scared! I'm sorry!"

"I understand, believe me," Misato assured her, "Hell, I ran too - soon as I got the chance."

"R-really?" Amber asked, smiling a sick little smile. "You look so cool, I didn't think you would run from anything!"

The flattery was so honest that Misato had to laugh. "I'm about as far from cool as you can get," she said warmly, leaning against the hallway wall, "but I'm glad you did run, because that thing was nasty."

"Yeah…"

Misato glanced around the house for a moment. "So," she said slowly, "umm… why'd you pick this house to hide in?"

No need to tell her why I'M here, she reasoned, she's probably known the sheriff all her life - I don't want her to think I'm after him or think he's a criminal or something.

Amber's reply shocked her.

"I live here."

"Uh… oh," Misato stammered, not really knowing how to respond, "so you figured it would be a good place to hide, or what?"

"Huh uh," Amber shook her head, glancing back into the room (her room, Misato mentally corrected herself), "I forgot my ring when I went to school, and it's really important to me, so I came to find it."

Misato's jaw fell open. "It can't be that important," she sputtered, "Amber - you should be on your way out of town! You can get another ring!"

"It's special," Amber said, blushing brightly as she timidly added, "my boyfriend gave it to me."

"I see," the older woman sighed, knowing it was pointless to be trying to convince the girl of her error at this point in time. "Hey, can I ask you something?" she said, pushing away from the wall and resting the shotgun on her shoulder. When Amber nodded, Misato said, "How do you get to the lake from here?"

Amber shrugged. "Just take Bachman Road," she answered, stepping a little closer to Misato - clearly for comfort - and tilting her head as if she had heard a sound.

"That road's out," Misato countered, frowning as she recalled Ritsuko's tale, "Is there any other way?"

Amber looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well," she said slowly, "it'll take longer, but if you go east along Sagan Street, you'll eventually go past a railroad. Go right after you pass the railroad crossing and you'll get to Munson Street. Keep going along there and you'll hit Nathan Avenue - follow it… it goes all the way around the lake." She looked up at Misato curiously. "Why do you want to go there? It's not that great - all that's there is few houses - oh, and my dad told there was a house owned by some Japanese guy… but I can't remember his name." She bit her lip. "Is that why you want to go?"

"No," replied Misato. "Shinji might be there…"

"Um…Miss Katsuragi?" Amber asked, glancing over her shoulder and frowning again, then shaking her head and clearing mouthing, 'just imagining it.'

"Yes," Misato replied, holding up her hand to forestall any further comment as she added, "And don't be so damn formal - call me Misato!"

"Okay… M-Misato," Amber nodded, "Ummm… why is Shinji so important to you?"

Misato was taken aback by this question. "He… he was placed in my custody when he first moved to my city," she replied with a trace of guilt, "I promised I would take care of him."

Amber looked thoughtful. "That makes sense," she said slowly, "I never thought that Takeuchi lady was his sister anyway."

"What?"

Misato was curious to know how a young American girl could tell that two Asian's that had lived in town for less than a month were not related… but the girl seemed to have another question on her mind.

"Do you think he would come looking for you?"

Misato blinked but Amber shook her head, quickly saying, "I'm sorry Miss Katsuragi… I shouldn't have asked that."

Misato nodded. "Its okay," she whispered, briefly considering whether or not Shinji WOULD come after her.

Probably not after what happened with Kaworu, she thought sadly, but… but maybe when things were good between us - there were SOME good times, right? She shook her head to clear it, looking down at the earnest, slightly dirty girl in front of her. Well, I guess it's not important right now, she thought firmly, and I can't just leave Amber here, so I guess…

"Amber," she said calmly, "it's too dangerous here… you'd better come with me -- your boyfriend will just have to get you another ring."

Amber's shoulders slumped, but she nodded reluctantly. "Yes ma'am," she said diffidently, "but he doesn't go out with me that much anymore - he's so busy with his work and stuff."

"You have a working boyfriend?" Misato asked, sounding impressed.

"Oh he's the best," Amber said, immediately perking up, "sometimes he takes me for long drives in his-"

Before Amber could finish her sentence, something hit the side of the building with an enormous bang, shaking the windows in their frames.

"Get behind me!" Misato cried, grabbing the girl's shoulder and stepping between her and the open door.

It's coming through her window, she thought grimly, raising the shotgun in preparation, here it comes!

And come through it did… only the monster that crashed into Amber's room took more than the window - it took the glass, the frame, and a large chunk of the wall surrounding it as well.

"Downstairs!" Misato barked, "Amber, get downstairs!!"

She pulled the trigged before the girl could reply, trying not to throw up as she beheld another nightmarishly deformed monstrosity. The most sickening thing, to Misato's eye anyway, was that the thing looked almost human… if you ignored the fact that it's entire body was a horrible fusion of rotted flesh and dull, lifeless metal. Where a human's hands would have been, only claws resided - made up of that same, metal and flesh combination like a sickening, patchwork lion. Its head, while human in shape, was entirely covered in metal, allowing only two slits, ever so slightly too high and wide apart to be quite human… and each filled with ice blue embers, burning with malice.

The buckshot from the shotgun ricocheted off the metal of its body, leaving tiny, pepperish holes in the wall all around it. Misato immediately rushed for the stairs, realising that she was at a horrible disadvantage in this cramped space. As she took the steps two at a time, she kept firing, praying for a miracle as the creature slowly, almost casually made its way down the hall, regarding her through the slats in the stair's handrail as she pumped round after round towards it.

It's playing with me! Misato thought desperately, imagining that she could hear a soft, raspy laugh coming from somewhere under its metallic hood. Think… thinkthinkthink!!

A guttural growl came from somewhere deep in the creature's chest, and Misato's mouth went dry as it hunkered down on all fours, shaking what were clearly its hindquarters in obvious preparation to jump.

"There!"

Dropping the shotgun, Misato whipped out her pistol, praying that her sudden inspiration would pay off. The monster, seemingly tired of playing with its pray, flew at Misato, bounding over the railing of the stairs and freefalling towards her even as she brought her weapon up and fired.

Time seemed to stop for Misato as she pulled the trigger, and she imagined that she could actually see the bullet leaving the barrel. In her mind's eye, she saw the round speed through the rapidly closing space between herself and the monster, and when it struck home, passing neatly through the right eyehole in the creature's mask, Misato swore that she could actually see its soul leaving in a roar of cold blue fire.

Then the world exploded all around her, forcing her to close her eyes as a brilliant white flash flooded her consciousness.

When she was still breathing a moment later, Misato opened her eyes.

Gone was the decay… gone was the grit and grime of disuse… gone were the signs of abandonment and disrepair. All that was left was a pleasant little house on Asimov Street, and several gaping, still smoking holes that Misato's shotgun was clearly responsible for.

Taking no time to glory in the apparent defeat of the metalloid beast, Misato immediately turned to the living room. "Amber!" she cried. "Amber, are you ok? Amber?!"

She searched the entire first floor for any place a teenager could squeeze into - closets, under beds, the pantry - everywhere… but there was no sign of the girl.

"Damn it," Misato nearly sobbed, throwing herself down on the sofa and burying her face in her palms, "Damn it! DAMN IT!!" She pounded the cushion next to her, letting out a quick cry of pain as something sharp and metal stuck into the flesh of her hand. "Figures…" she whispered dejectedly, carefully pulling out the small, chintzy looking ring that had apparently fallen between the cracks in the couch.

Now I have two children to save, she thought grimly, slipping the ring onto her pinkie finger for safe-keeping, Amber... you know where I'm heading - please have the sense to go there too.

Drawing a deep breath, Misato levered herself off the couch and retrieved her shotgun, then, taking a moment to reload it, she reviewed her course of action: Go along Sagan Street, past the railroad, and then go left. You'll come across Munson Street, then Nathan Avenue, there's a road around the lake…

Brushing at her eyes and telling herself sternly that she was NOT a failure, Misato stepped back out into the nightmare that was Silent Hill.

TBC


	5. Alicia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato during her search for Shinji encounters a mysterious woman

Chapter 4 - Alicia

Misato wandered through the streets of Silent Hill, avoiding the winged monsters to the best of her ability - more in an attempt to conserve ammo than any real fear of the creatures.

It is amazing, she thought as she ducked in an alleyway, waiting for one of the things to swoop lazily past, what a human can get accustomed to.

Eventually she reached the train station, blinking in surprise as she rounded the corner just in time to spot someone walking through the front door. In the heavy, concealing fog she could not quite see who it was, and her curiosity temporarily overrode her burning desire to find her wayward charge.

Could it be Commander Ikari? she mused, cautiously drawing her pistol (just to be safe) and slowly approaching the station. Ritsuko, Fletcher.Amber?

She resolved to check it out, stealing carefully up to the door of the station and peeking around the corner. Finding the barriers open, she made her way in, placing her feet carefully so as not to step on any of the newspapers that littered the floor. The train station was eerily silent, but Misato tried not to let it get to her, reminding herself as she peered round another corner that silence was better than the clicking of heavily- nailed footsteps or the flapping of leathery wings.

"Hello there."

Misato let out an involuntary yelp as she found an American woman sitting casually near the base of a short staircase, smiling at her with open amusement in her emerald green eyes. At a guess, Misato would have said that the woman was about her own age, with long dark hair in a queue down to her waist. Her skin was clear and unblemished, and she was dressed quite elegantly in a flowing, dark blue dress.

"I said, hello there," the woman repeated calmly, her face lighting in a soothing smile, "I'm not going to bite," she said coolly, "so. would you mind pointing your gun elsewhere?"

Misato blinked, realizing that she had levelled her pistol at the woman, and lowered it to the side. "Sorry about that," she murmured, impressed by the woman's nerve.

"Quite alright," the woman nodded, acknowledging the apology. She studied Misato for a moment, then extended her right hand. "My name is Alicia. it's nice to meet you."

"Misato Katsuragi."

There was a moment of silence as the two women shook, sizing each other up, and in that time, a thought occurred to Misato.

I didn't even notice it because I was so surprise to see her, but we've been speaking Japanese this whole time.

This thought led to another, and without any further preamble, Misato blurted, "I'm looking for a Japanese boy - he goes by the name of Shinji Takeuchi. have you ummm, have you seen him?"

God what a stupid question, she berated herself critically, I didn't even ask if she needed any help or anything - I must be losing it. She eyed the woman closely. Though it doesn't LOOK like she needs any help. she doesn't really seem like the damsel in distress type.

"The name doesn't sound familiar," Alicia said politely.

Misato nodded, reaching into her flight jacket and pulling out a battered picture of the boy. "This is him."

Alicia took the picture, studying it closely and giving Misato a few seconds to reflect on the day the picture was snapped. He was happy that day, she thought sadly, right after beating the dancing angels. getting used to having Asuka live with us. things seemed ok then - hell, he was even smiling when I pulled out my camera. What happened to us.? When did it all get so fu-

"Sorry," Alicia shook her head apologetically, handing the photo back. As Misato's fingers closed over the picture, Alicia whispered, "He's very handsome, though a bit young. is he your lover?"

"N-no," Misato stammered, her ears going pink, "why. why would you think that?"

Alicia shrugged. "You seem too young to have children," she observed, resting her elbows on her knees and cradling her chin in her palms, "but he is clearly very important to you." She tilted her head to the side, resting it fully on her left hand. "If not a lover, and not a child. why is he so important to you?"

Misato was taken aback - this was the second time in less than 24 hours she had been asked this question. "When he moved to my city, I promised that I would take care of him," she said uneasily.

"Interesting." Alicia said thoughtfully, "Now, pardon my boldness, but based on your dialect and uniform, I have to ask. are you from NERV, perhaps?"

Misato, taken completely off guard, replied, "Yes, I'm the operations director at NERV."

Alicia smiled soothingly. "Then, would that mean that Shinji is one of the world-famous Evangelion pilots?"

A much longer pause followed as Misato stared into the woman's bright green eyes. Everyone in the world knows who the Children are, she told herself, feeling a vague sense of unreality wash over her, and she identified my uniform. maybe she's from the new NERV branch herself? That would make sense, I guess - sure would explain why she's so damn calm about everything. Hell, maybe she's THEIR operations director.

Finally, she nodded. "He is," she confirmed, "and. I have reason to believe he may be near the lake - so I'm headed in that direction."

Alicia immediate shook her head. "You can't get to the lake by any of the streets," she pointed out, slowly rising to her feet and stepping past Misato. "The streets are all dominated by crevasses several metres wide, but if you go out that door," she pointed to the south end of the building, "and make your way through the Ridgeview clinic, the basement fire exit will let you out right near the lake."

Misato nodded gratefully. "Thanks."

"By the way, Miss Katsuragi."

"Yeah?"

"I don't mean to pry," the woman said apologetically, "but.why would Shinji run away from you?" She tilted her head to the side once more, assessing the operations director for a moment. ".is it because of Kaworu?"

Misato was stunned. How does she know about Kaworu? she thought, averting her eyes from the woman's intense gaze. She HAS to be from NERV - has to! There's no other way to explain. damn it, who IS this woman!?

She blinked as she realized that Alicia was no longer standing in front of her. "Wait!" she called, finding the woman heading for the door on the opposite side of the train station.

Ignoring her call, Alicia reached the door and pushed it open, glancing back over her shoulder and murmuring, "Before you go through that door, Miss Katsuragi, ask yourself this: what do I really feel for Shinji? Until you answer that question - even if you find him physically. his true self will forever elude you."

Misato's jaw dropped open as the woman stepped out. "Hey!" she called, dashing over to the door and flinging it open. "What do you know about Shinji? How do you know about Kaworu? Who are y-"

She cut herself off as she realized that the street outside was empty.

"What the."

Misato bit her tongue. Get a grip! she told herself. I don't know why THIS bothers you so much when everything else around here changes at the drop of a hat. She let the door swing shut before its enticing openness could draw some ill-willed and hungry creature, and made her way over to the door Alicia had indicated. Ritsuko said something about a crevasse across Bachman, she thought grimly, And since the road to Munson Street is out, I guess I have to believe Alicia.

Misato consulted her map, feeling relief wash over her as she found the Ridgeview clinic to be less than three blocks away. She pushed the door open, keeping her gun at the ready, and started down the street. but as she passed one of the myriad benches outside the train station, a flash of colour caught her eye.

Frowning, she made her way over to it, her mouth going dry as she spotted a small, red envelope bearing the initials K.M.

Taking a quick look around, she picked the envelope up and tore it open, shaking out a small key with the number 32 on it, a black and white photograph of a lighthouse, and a brief note, which read:

Dear Miss Katsuragi,

Just a small gift to help you on your way. Be sure to drop by the gym on Sandford Street when you get a moment, I think you'll like what you find there. Best of luck to you.

-A

Perplexed, Misato slipped the key into her pocket and took a closer look at the picture, her eyes widening as she spotted a small, dark-haired figure standing at the base of the lighthouse and looking up. While the figure's back was to the camera, it could very easily have been Shinji. though there really was no way to be one hundred percent certain.

Ridgeview, she thought, shaking her head and studying the picture one more time before sending it to join the mysterious key, I guess that clinches it.

**

Three blocks, one shotgun shell, and five handgun rounds later, Misato found herself outside the Ridgeview clinic, gazing at the huge gap in the road just past the entrance. Guess Alicia was right about that, she thought, walking around to the front of the building, hope she was right about everything else.

The front door swung open with a faint creak, setting Misato's teeth on edge, but as with the other buildings she had come across so far, the clinic was as empty of life as a graveyard. "Bad analogy," Misato whispered, noting with some gratitude that there was a map on the wall and quickly locating the basement fire exit. "Next I'll be saying things like, 'It's dead quiet here,' or, 'it's as silent as a tomb.' God, I just want to make some noise to keep from going insane, I mean-"

She cut herself off, realizing that making noise to keep from going insane was exactly what she was doing.

As quick as she could, she made her way through the ground floor, pausing at the only open door to peek in. The office of the chief surgeon (according to the plaque on the door) was in chaos, with papers and personal trappings scattered everywhere. Bringing her pistol up to bear, she slipped into the room, feeling that since this was the first sign she had seen that others were alive, she should check it out.

Damn, she thought, looking around at the carnage, someone went to town on this place! Must have been looking for something awfully valua- wait! Is that blood?!

She crouched near a small red puddle on the far side of the chief's chair, letting out a thankful sigh as she found it several shades too light, and far too thin to be blood. "Thank God," she murmured, beginning to rise. but pausing as she took note of the fact that the puddle was surrounded by broken glass - as if someone had smashed a small vial. "Probably wanted to destroy it," she reasoned, heading back out of the office and continuing towards the stairs. "Guess it doesn't really matter right now."

After a rather short, completely uneventful walk, Misato found herself in front of the door leading to the basement stairs. but as she pushed on it, she found that it would not give more than a few inches, a soft rattling issuing from the other side.

"Oh come on!" she hissed, entirely frustrated. "Come ON!"

She threw herself against the door, but only succeeded in giving herself a nasty bruise on the shoulder. Damn it.

Misato headed back through the main floor, impulsively checking the rooms for other survivors. She found no one, but in the kitchen she spotted several empty squirt bottles, lined up in neat rows against the sink. Entirely on impulse, she grabbed one and headed back to the chief surgeon's office, squeezing the bottle and allowing it to suck up the small pool of red liquid.

Someone tried pretty hard to get rid of this stuff, she thought reasonably, it's gotta be important - hell, maybe it's part of that drug case the cops are working on. When I - IF I see Fletcher again, I'll give it to him. who knows, maybe it'll help him out.

With the bottle safely stowed in her jacket, Misato headed back to the lobby, first reviewing, then simply taking the map off the wall. "Now," she said, feeling marginally better after this little act of thievery, "only one door to the basement - of course. but if I can get to one of the windows on the upper floors, it looks like this fire escape lets out right by the fire exit. Perfect."

She rolled up the map and tucked it into her pocket, starting off towards the other stairway and finding it (thankfully) unblocked.

As she reached the second floor, however, a shudder ran through her, making her reflexively close her eyes. and as darkness filled her vision, the same, piercing scream that she had heard in the school tore through her senses, leaving her breathless and shaking.

Not again!!

Misato found it very hard to stifle her own scream as she opened her eyes and found herself once again surrounded by the same dirt and decay that had been so pervasive in the school and Amber's house. The sight of the world shifting into madness was not what made her feel like screaming, though. it was the gruesome figure slouching its way down the hallway towards her that excited terror in Misato's stomach.

It wore a nurse's uniform, but it was hunchbacked and shrivelled, its stunted limbs seemingly ill-designed for moving its mass around. Where its face should have been, there was only rubbery brown tissue, devoid of any intelligence or recognizable features. Misato hesitated for a moment in spite of the knife in the thing's right hand, as an errant thought flitted through her mind.

That looks like it used to be human.

Former human or not, Misato was forced to bring her weapon up and fire, the instinct for self-preservation far outweighing the desire to help or understand. Three rounds ensured that the 'nurse' was free of any burden she might have felt.

"Gotta get out of here," Misato whispered, glancing around the now-dim hallway with trepidation, "it's too confined. nowhere to run if things get real sticky."

Another great pun, she thought distantly, pushing open a door marked, 'holding,' and stepping through.

"Aww!" she gasped, coming up short as she found the room full of gurneys, all covered from head to foot in white, blood-stained sheets. "God," she breathed, trying not to gag, "it's like a slaughterhouse."

She pulled her shirt up and glanced around, swallowing hard as she took in the shape under the closest sheet.

What the hell is underneath there? she thought, reaching out as if mesmerized and nearly touching one of the oddly deformed shapes before pulling her hand back and shaking her head. Wait. I don't think I want to know.

She surveyed the room, hoping to find something useful. The room was largely empty apart from the bloodstained gurneys, but there was a cabinet with some blood bags in it, leaning rather drunkenly against the far wall. Most of the bags looked torn and drained - as if some creature had gorged itself on their contents - but there was one that looked full and intact.

Hmmmm, Misato mused, some animals are attracted to blood. better take one of these - just in case I meet up with whatever did this.

Swallowing her distaste, she pocketed the blood bag and started towards the door opposite the one she entered, but before she could reach it, it burst in, a howling figure rushing through the gap - straight for Misato. Training took over, and the operations director rolled to the left, her eyes catching the telltale flash of a knife as it sailed past, inches from her spine. Continuing her pirouette, Misato reached over her shoulder and whipped the shotgun around, unloading a shell into the thing's back before she had even finished getting the strap off her shoulder.

She pumped another shell into the chamber and pulled the trigger, ensuring that the figure would not rise again. Sticky like that? she thought, wondering why she was not drooling in a corner by this point.

With a heavy sigh, Misato turned on her heel and strode from the room. She did not bother turning the thing over to see if its face was as featureless as that of the other 'nurse,' because she was afraid that she would find it all too human.

DEFINITELY time to go.

**

She managed to find her way to the door leading to the next floor (all the paths to the fire exit seemed to be blocked on this one) and pushed it open, but she was forced to duck as she found the way blocked by a series of barbed chains, swinging aimlessly in the space just above the stairway. Standing in the narrow doorway, she frowned, absently moving left or right depending on how the chains swung and trying to figure out how she could get through without getting her hair or clothes snagged.

It happened so fast that Misato barely had time to react, her instincts again saving her.

"Ahh!!" she fell back and to the left as one of the chains suddenly shot at her, no longer waving randomly back and forth but moving with deadly accuracy. Now prone, Misato rolled back from the door as three more chains rocketed towards her, splintering the wood as they drove into the floor space she had just vacated.

Scrambling to her feet, Misato dashed down the hallway and burst through the last door, throwing it closed behind her and dropping to the floor as three of the chains smashed through it. Oh man! she thought, her breath coming in short pants as the chains slowly pulled back, you've gotta be kidding me!

She could see the fire escape, that was one good sign anyway, but her initial hope that the chains had reached the limit of their extension was dashed as she realized she was not alone in the room, and they had most likely retreated to leave her to this creature's disposal.

That window's not on the map! she thought tiredly, trying very hard to keep her mind from focusing on the writhing mass of leech-like tentacles protruding from a hole in the base of the wall.

Rising carefully to her feet, and trying to give the door a wide birth in case the chains were just playing possum, Misato levelled her shotgun at the mass of tentacles. "What the hell," she shrugged, "might as well give it a go."

The shotgun boomed and several of the tentacles dropped lifelessly to the floor, but no sooner had they stopped twitching than they were immediately replaced by even more of the unclean looking things, three of which fell on their dead progenitors and began pulling them apart.

Dog eat dog, huh? Misato thought grimly. Well if you like that, boys. how about something a little more human?

Praying that her ploy would work, Misato reached into her pocket and pulled out the blood bag, tearing it open.

Instantly, the mass of tentacles froze, every one of them pointing at the bag as if straining to reach it from the confines of their hole. "Bon apatite," Misato muttered, tossing the bag as far from the window as she could and rushing towards the fire escape.

The tentacles paid her no mind, seemingly content to go after the easy prey, and Misato made it to the fire escape without so much as a scratch. Now then, she thought with the slightest bit of smugness, just head down the fire escape, and we- Oh God DAMN IT!!

The fire escape, it seemed, ended somewhere in the middle of the first story. and the ground underneath was simply gone - leaving a deep, black void where the ground should have been.

"Figures," she groaned, "guess we go up. check the map. and - hell, something! There has to be SOME way out of here!"

She climbed the fire escape to the third floor and shimmied through the window, freezing as she heard the rattle and scrape of metal on metal just outside of the room she had crawled into. Chains, she thought, her stomach falling, the. whatever it is must be just through there. Great. She consulted her map, but it was of little use. I know what's on two and one, she thought reasonably, this might be my only way out of this shit hole.

With this thought firmly in mind, Misato carefully reached into her pocket and pulled out more shotgun shells, feeding them into the breach as quietly as she could and tiptoeing closer to the door. With a short cry, she kicked the door open and stepped through, blinking as she found it unexpectedly bright.

Waiting for her on the other side was another flesh and metal monstrosity. This time, its skin was tinged blue - as if it had been out in the cold too long as was now suffering from hypothermia. but where its legs should have been was a patchwork of metal plates, bolts, and chains.

Misato pulled the trigger immediately, throwing herself the rest of the way into the corridor as the monster lashed out, raking the hallway with its cruelly barbed chains. The first shot scattered harmlessly off the creature's lower body as Misato slammed through a door marked 'nurse's station,' pumping the shotgun as she went and narrowly avoiding a barrage of angrily questing chains.

"You missed me!" Misato howled madly, backpeddling through the room and firing again as the creature's body blotted out the light from the hall. "That's right! You missed!! Come GET ME!!"

She hurled herself through another door as the monster let out a keening, angry cry.

Crazy, Misato thought, pumping the shotgun again and dashing through another narrow hallway, I've gone entirely crazy - that's it. Just snapped like a twig, whoo hoo, gone.

She crashed through another door, whirling around and bringing the shotgun up to bear, determined to continue this pattern of hit and run until the damn thing just gave up and died. but the creature was nowhere to be seen. Wiping sweat from her brow, Misato inched closer to the door. "Where are you?" she muttered, frowning as a soft 'clink' came from somewhere down the hall. "Come. on!"

Muscles tense, she risked a glimpse around the doorframe. but again, she was presented with quiet, the faintest, echoing 'clink' the only indication that she was not alone.

Where the hell is it??

Slowly, Misato lowered her shotgun, wondering if she could double back around to the window she had come through and head up to the fourth floor - forget the monster, just get out. but the choice was taken from her as the floor directly in front of her erupted in a shower of wood and metal, two of the waving chains whipping past Misato's face and making her hair flutter.

MOVE!!!

Misato obeyed the mental command, only instead of fleeing, she threw herself forward, jamming the end of the shotgun against the thing's dome- shaped head.

"Bang, motherfucker!!"

The blast of the shotgun was deafening in the small room, but the results were satisfying. A large, irregular hole appeared in the monster's blueish skin, accompanied by another of its harsh, raucous cries. Misato reached out and pumped another shell in. then another, then another, screaming at the top of her lungs as the thing tried to pull back through the floor and get away from the brutal punishment she was dishing out.

On the sixth shell, the world filled with light, blinding Misato with its brilliance.

When it had faded. only the empty hallway could be seen, only there was no hole in it, no decay, and no screaming, chain-bearing monster. I hope you like Hell, Misato thought, panting harshly as she swept the empty hallway - just to be sure. Convinced that she was alone, Misato started back towards the window, hoping that the fourth floor might have some more appealing options, but as she took a step, a glint of silver caught her eye.

"Another one.?" she whispered, kneeling on the floor and carefully picking up the small, silver crucifix laying exactly in the spot the monster had come through. "Guess that makes five."

Pocketing the cross with a thoughtful expression, Misato slowly made her way back to the fire escape, unable to escape the idea that there was far more going on here than she had even guessed.

**

As it turned out, the return to the 'real' world, as Misato was starting to think of it, had somehow repaired the fire escape, allowing her to climb all the way down and put her feet once more on solid ground.

And there's the lake, she thought, nodding to herself as she found herself a stone's throw from a small, lakeside resort - clearly the tourist-driven extension to the small town. Consulting her map, Misato found that she could either continue along Munson, as Amber had described, or cut through Rosewater park - a far more appealing option, she decided, as she thought she could hear the rough cries of several of the beak-bearing monsters, and getting into another fight was just about the last item on her to-do list.

Slipping through the gates with as much stealth as she could muster, Misato found herself in a quiet, almost desolate park. It was well tended, she saw, with an assortment of flowers scattered here and there and several large shade trees. but there was a sense of emptiness and sorrow that pervaded the place, as if something sad had occurred there a long time ago.

Walking slowly through the park, Misato nearly jumped out of her skin as a calm voice said, "Hello, Miss Katsuragi. I see you found your way through the clinic."

"Good lord!" Misato cried, covering her heart as she looked wildly around, finally spotting Alicia smiling coolly at her from a park bench, "Do NOT ever do that again! I could have shot you by accident!"

"My apologies," Alicia said unconcernedly. "Now. could you point that elsewhere?"

Misato blinked, then lowered the shotgun as she found it still pointed at the woman. "Sorry."

"Forgiven."

They regarded each other for a long moment. "So," Misato said, finally regaining her breath, "I take it you're the one that left me that envelope."

"Naturally," Alicia nodded, "and I take it you are still looking for your Shinji?"

"Of course."

"Well now," Alicia said thoughtfully, "just curious here, but in all the months you've known Shinji. were you all that open. What I mean is, were you ever more than just a housemate to him? Were you. open with how you felt?"

"What do you mean by that?" Misato asked tersely, annoyed that this woman would not speak plainly.

Man, she thought, forcing herself to be calm, compared to her, Commander Ikari is like a picture book!

"How did you feel about him?" Alicia pressed gently, "Was it only the feelings of a guardian. or was it more then that?"

"That's hardly any of your business," Misato grumbled, taking a calming breath as she realized just how worked up she was getting over what was really a very innocuous line of questioning.

"Was whatever you were doing more important than Shinji?" Alicia whispered, smiling softly, "Did you include him in what you were doing. or did you just leave him alone - like his father?"

Misato frowned. "How do you know about Shinji?" she asked levelly, itching to bring the shotgun back up and make the woman talk. "Who are you that you know all of this? Is that Shinji in that picture? Do you know him?"

Alicia ignored the questions, rising slowly to her feet and gazing out over the lake. "I think you would be most pleased if you investigated the lighthouse on the far side of the lake," she said casually, "Come. walk with me."

With no other choice but to follow, Misato began walking, finding herself engaged in the most run of the mill conversation she had ever participated in. They talked about Shinji's hobbies and music, Misato showing Alicia Shinji's SDAT - completely forgotten in her pocket since she had snatched it up as a weapon in Ritsuko's apartment. They talked a bit about the town, and how the tourist business usually thrived earlier in the year. They talked about plants, and men, and everything under the sun.

.everything except how Alicia knew about Shinji, or who, exactly, she was - then the topic was always brought back around to something mundane.

Passing by Pete's Bowl-O-Rama, Misato was about to bring the subject up once more, more than happy to interrupt Alicia's casual dissertation on the growing habits of a local flower she called 'Lady Dark,' when the distinct sound of gunfire reached their ears, coming from somewhere inside the bowling alley.

"You wait here," Misato said quickly, reluctant to leave the woman but unwilling to let someone else die if she could do something about it. "I'll check it out."

Without waiting for a reply, she ran up to the front doors of Pete's and flung the doors open, sweeping the alley with her shotgun. Even from the front doors, she easily spotted a row of fresh bullet holes in the wall, as if someone had been tracking a moving target as they fired. but there was no sign of either the shooter, or the intended victim. Moving quickly, Misato made her way to the back of the bowling alley, finding the door swinging back and forth on its hinges. but looking out into the night, she could not see any trace of another living being.

Whatever happened here, it looks like I missed it! she decided, keeping her shotgun at the ready and jogging quickly back to where she had left Alicia, only to find the woman, "Gone. Damn it!" Misato kicked angrily at an empty beer can, sending it end over end down the street. "'Oh come walk with me why don't you?'" she muttered darkly, glancing around at the empty street.

With a heavy sigh, she pulled out the photograph, glancing at it in the flashlight's beam.

"The lighthouse, huh?"

With a final shake of her head, Misato started off towards the lighthouse, praying that if the elegantly clad woman was insane. that she at least had it together enough to help her find Shinji.

TBC


	6. To Brookhaven Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato finds a clue that leads her to one of Silent Hill's hospitals but gets more then she bargained for

Chapter 5 - To Brookhaven Hospital

Misato stood quite still, staring down at the huge crevasse where the rest of Nathan Avenue should have been. Ah man, now what am I gonna do? She consulted her map, frowning slightly as she took note of the boat stand behind the Silent Hill historical society. Guess that's my best option, she thought, refolding the map and slipping it back into her pocket, well it's not like I really HAVE options, but still.

With a sigh, she made her way back the way she had come, her mind turning over the things the woman named Alicia had said. "Did you include him in what you were doing.or did you just leave him alone - like his father?" She sighed again and bowed her head. I should have, she thought miserably, but I simply ran away. Misato chuckled ruefully as she thought about the sixteenth angel and Rei's apparent death. After all the lectures I gave him about running away, how many times did I run - just in more subtle ways? Not telling Shinji that Toji was the Fourth Child, for example? And after that business with the sixteenth, wasn't I the one who ran away? Whenever he needed me to be his friend, I simply crawled into my role of his superior.

Yes, Misato decided, she had done her own fair share of running away.

Approaching the boat stand, she thought again about what Alicia had said. "Miss Katsuragi, ask yourself this: what do I really feel for Shinji? Until you answer that question - even if you find him physically. his true self will forever elude you."

Misato ran a hand through her hair, this thought uncomfortably echoing a sentence in Shinji's letter. I never knew what you wanted from me Misato. She bit her tongue to keep from saying 'I tried to make it clear.'

Yeah right, she thought bleakly, when it came to him, I was about as clear as my own father was about me - work first, family second.

Shaking her head, Misato set about the business of checking the one boat currently tied to the stand, a small rowboat complete with oars and a small anchor. Untying the rope, she wondered if she had ever really made any effort to reach Shinji. She had always thought of Shinji as a charge and a housemate, but the combination of his disappearance and Alicia's words made her question whether it had not been something a bit more.

Well, I'll make it better when I find him, Misato thought firmly, we'll go home, I'll-

Her reverie was interrupted by a familiar, "Hey!"

Misato turned around and saw Ritsuko hurrying towards her, her green eyes sweeping the foggy street all around and her shotgun moving ceaselessly from left to right.

"Where were you!?" the purple-haired woman burst, unable to contain a smile of relief, "I was so worried!"

"You were worried!?" Ritsuko replied with a glare, "Where the hell have you been!? That altar room had no other exits!"

Misato blinked. "I came back out the way I came in," she said slowly, "and you were gone." She frowned as Ritsuko shook her head, her lip compressing into a thin line. "Well," Misato said, "I went down there, and."

Ritsuko listened attentively as her friend outlined all that had happened to her, from the sudden change in the bookshop, to the fight in Amber's house, all the way up to the train station, but when she reached the part about Alicia, Ritsuko interrupted.

"You met her too?"

Misato frowned. "I thought you said you haven't seen anyone?" she asked sceptically.

"I hadn't," Ritsuko clarified, her eyes growing hazy as she remembered exactly what had happened, "but after I left the bookshop, I."

**

Ritsuko made her way through the park, her nerves jumping and twitching at the slightest movement. No Misato, she thought grimly, trying not to scream as a tree limb swayed slightly, No Shinji either. Damn it!

It felt like forever since Misato had vanished into that stupid bookstore, but she knew it could not have been more than an hour - two at the most. "If she's not dead when I find her, I'm gonna kill her," she muttered under her breath. "I-"

Another movement caught her eye, and she whirled around, finding a figure leaning against the tree with the swaying branches. but it was not a monster - it was too regularly shaped for that.

"Hello Miss Takeuchi," the figure said coolly, stepping away from the tree and moving closer, "or should I call you Miss Akagi?"

Ritsuko blinked as she found herself facing what was clearly an American woman, with long dark hair and clear, unblemished skin. She was wearing an elegant, flowing blue dress, and seemed completely out of place amidst the confusion an insanity Ritsuko had associated with Silent Hill.

How does she know who I am? she thought, sizing the woman up, She doesn't look like she's a cop. Maybe she's from NERV? Why else would she know my real name?

"Would you mind pointing that elsewhere?" the woman asked suddenly, a soft smile appearing on her lips as she added, "I'm not with any law enforcement agency, if that's what you're worried about."

"Sorry about that," Ritsuko replied, lowering her shotgun. The woman LOOKED unarmed, but Ritsuko kept the shotgun by her side, just in case.

"That's alright," the woman said amicably, extending her right hand, "I'm Alicia, by the way."

Two things impressed Ritsuko as she shook the woman's hand: the fact that she spoke Japanese so flawlessly, and the strength of her grip, but just about the last thing she expected to hear was the woman quietly murmuring, "If you're looking for Misato, she should be just about at the boat stand behind the museum by now. There's a little problem with the path to Sandford Street, you see."

"W-wait!" Ritsuko stammered, finding herself at a loss for words as Alicia released her hand and took a step back. "How do you know Misato??"

Alicia simply smiled. "Best hurry," she said quietly, "I'd think she'll be casting off pretty soon."

Ritsuko wet her lips, glancing towards the museum for a moment. Is that.? she thought, squinting as she picked out a slender figure, barely visible in the fog.

As she turned around, she found Alicia making her way towards the park's exit.

"Wait! Are you sure you should be out there alone?" Ritsuko called. "I've. got a spare gun, if you want." This woman certainly did not look like the damsel in distress type, but the idea of being unarmed with all those monsters running around just did not sit well with Ritsuko - no matter how strangely knowledgeable the woman seemed.

"I'll be alright." Alicia replied calmly, putting a hand on the fencepost by the gate and glancing back over her shoulder. "Ritsuko," she whispered, her voice oddly flat and hollow in the thick fog, "someone has given you a second chance. You can now choose between the people who genuinely care about you or the man who never loved you and exploited your mind and body to his own ends. Do you want your mother's fate to become yours?"

Ritsuko jaw dropped and she stared down at the ground. How does she know that? she thought, her mind whirling,

"Wait!" she called again, raising her head, "How do you know my mother? Who- "she cut herself off.

Alicia was gone.

**

".That's how it happened," Ritsuko said with a frown, clearly uncomfortable discussing her mother so openly.

Misato frowned as well, her thoughts running along similar, though slightly different lines. There were very few people who knew EXACTLY what had happened to Dr. Naoko Akagi - it was not exactly dinner table conversation, after all.

Hell, she thought, me and Shinji are probably the last people she told about it personally, but this woman still knew, and she knew Ritsuko by her real name AND her fake one, so she must be from around here, or at least have information on everything that goes on in this town.

"Do you think she works for NERV?" she asked thoughtfully, slowly climbing into the boat.

There was, she reasoned, no point in hanging around - not when Shinji could still be out there somewhere.

"I don't know," Ritsuko shrugged, "but from what you've told me and what she said, she seems to know a lot about us - and Shinji." She sighed, glancing down at the boat. "Guess it doesn't do much good to theorize, does it?" she mused, reluctantly climbing over the bow.

Misato shook her head as the blonde gingerly sat down across from her. "Guess it doesn't," the operations director whispered, "but I think it would be best if we were both on our guard if we meet her again."

"Agreed."

Without another word, Misato took up the oars and began rowing northeast.

**

Sandford Street, it seemed, was quite a row, and in an effort to conserve her strength, Misato took her time, paddling slowly and taking frequent breaks to ensure that she did not wear herself out. The slow pace allowed both women time to think, and after several minutes of silence, Ritsuko spoke.

"Misato." she began reluctantly.

"Yeah?"

"I.kept a lot of things from you."

"Hey!" Misato said lightly, "Don't worry about it. The way I figure it - you were trying to protect me from getting hurt, so keeping a few things to yourself isn't that big a deal."

Since Shinji's disappearance, Misato had been wondering if maybe Ritsuko had been keeping her in the dark in an odd attempt to protect her from getting in too deep. Both knew what kind of man Commander Ikari was - and if he was willing to treat his own son the way he had, what would he do to protect his secrets from two overly-curious underlings like herself and Ritsuko? There could only be one answer.

"But-"

"Don't worry," Misato cut in again, "we both know what he's capable of, right? At least I know I can count on you."

Ritsuko hesitated, then offered a weak smile, nodding as she flatly changed the subject. She outlined her journey with Shinji to America, from her harrowing experience with a rather oily fake ID broker to her heartstoppingly breathless wait in an airport bathroom after ducking an off duty Section Two agent and his family.

Misato's face fell when the blonde reached the point in which Shinji told her about Kaworu and what happened afterwards.

"Why did you say that to him?" asked Ritsuko, giving her a disapproving glance, "hell, even I knew the kid was messed up - and did it ever occurred to you question WHY Kaworu asked Shinji to kill him?

"I won't make any excuses," Misato replied with a sigh, setting the oars down for a moment and rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I just wasn't thinking. And no. I never really thought about it. He was an angel - all I cared about was that he was dead and gone."

Ritsuko's next question drove the air from Misato's lungs.

"Was his sacrifice really all that different from your father's?"

There was a long, awkward moment of silence.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuko said finally, "that was uncalled for."

"No, I deserved it," Misato said, shaking her head again thinking back to the last words Kaworu spoke to Shinji, wondering if he was sincere.

Guess I'll never know for sure, she thought, taking up the oars again, never really got to know him - even though he seemed nice enough before, well, before THAT. No, I was too busy chasing the truth.

"Anyway," Ritsuko said dismissively, "we arrived in Silent Hill a couple weeks back and I found a job at Brookhaven hospital. It wasn't easy, but the ID broker - after screwing me for a few thousand bucks - made sure I had some semblance of my old credentials, so I could at least-" she snapped her fingers, cutting herself off, "Hey, that reminds me! You asked me if I met the chief of police, and I said no. but I sort of met his wife. She was some woman."

"Really?"

"She was a neurotic and a hypochondriac," Ritsuko said matter-of-factly, "Connie, one of the nurses at the hospital, once told me that she couldn't stand it when her husband touched her - some kind of contact disorder I'd never heard of - and that she screams at both him and their son for the silliest reasons you can imagine."

Misato whistled. It seemed that this truly was a pathetic woman that Fletcher had for a wife. She suddenly felt sorry for him and his son - especially when she remembered his offhanded comment that his wife had taken the boy to another town.

"I even heard that he's been trying to get her committed," Ritsuko continued, "But I guess her mother had some obscure power of attorney paper or something and got her moved to Brahms to live with her."

Misato remembered the first time she saw a psychiatrist, trying to keep calm as she heard his voice echoing in her mind. "It was just a trick of the light, honey," the man's voice whispered soothingly, "There was no pillar of light, or wings, it was a meteor, honey - that's what happened. now why don't we talk about what you really saw, k?"

People wonder why I was mute all that time, Misato thought angrily, I never saw any point in talking to those jerks! Second Impact was as fucking real as anything! Not to mention half the worlds population dying - and did I fucking imagine papa dying!? It still hurt when she thought of what happened that day - when the world exploded and the giant of light took away everything that mattered to her. Fifteen years had passed since Second Impact, but sometimes she remembered it as if it was only yesterday.

"You alright?" Ritsuko asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Misato replied, giving her companion a false smile.

Sensing the other woman's sadness, Ritsuko simply cleared her throat.

"It looks like we've arrived."  
**

They disembarked carefully, wary of falling into the chilly lake, and tied the boat securely to the small dock by the street. As they started up the road towards the lighthouse, Misato spotted a squat, two-story building marked, 'Dave's Gym.'

"Let's stop here for a sec," she said, grabbing Ritsuko's arm, "Alicia said something about this place. I want to check it out."

Ritsuko nodded and they stepped into the building, examining the small key in Misato's palm in the beam of her flashlight. "Locker key," they said simultaneously, grinning at one another as they reached the same conclusion. Without another word, they separated, Ritsuko heading up to the second floor and Misato remaining on the first in an attempt to find the locker room faster.

You'd think they would have signs, Misato thought, thankful that Ritsuko had her own flashlight as the dim light from her own played over the dim terrain, ah, there it is!

She opened her mouth to call out for the other woman, but the oppressive atmosphere of the gym stilled her tongue. Quietly, she slipped into the Men's locker room first, figuring that she had a fifty percent chance of getting it right. As luck would have it, the key slid easily into the lock on the small cube marked 32, opening it with a satisfyingly loud 'clunk.'

Misato swung the small door open, reaching into the locker and pulling out, "Another key? Oh come on!"

She sighed, pocketing the key and picking up the note that was lying under it.

F.

Mister 'I.' will arrive tomorrow. Be sure to meet him in the parking lot, whereupon you will go to your place to discuss purchase. Just learned that the package was moved from Ridgeview to Brookhaven.

-K

Misato blinked. Purchase of what? she wondered, peering deeper into the locker and finding a small, locked metal box. And what do these initials stand for?

She checked the box, finding the lock on it to be rather formidable, and as expected, the key that was with it was not the one that would open it.

Figures.

She was just pondering whether to take the box with her or not when she heard footsteps and hushed voices coming towards the locker room.

"I don't know what's going on any more than you do," one of the voices was saying, "are you sure this is the best course of action? This seems rather. nefarious."

"Of course," the other voice snorted, "it's not like anyone's going to see us."

Misato immediately replaced the note and the box, quietly closing the locker and slipping into one of the shower stalls as two flashlight beams pierced the darkness. She barely contained a shocked gasp, for while there was barely any light, she easily picked out the distinctive features of the two men entering the room.

Fletcher and Ikari??

Swallowing with some difficulty, Misato eased out of the locker and strode as quietly as she could towards the door.

"Hell!" she flinched as Fletcher cried out in anger. "Someone got here first! The damn KEY is gone!!"

"What?" Gendou's voice replied sharply. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not stupid," Fletcher growled, "damn it! I needed that!"

"Perhaps he is still here."

Misato tensed, casting around for a hiding place as the muffled sound of a gun being cocked reached her ears. Ritsuko! she thought suddenly, darting silently into an open closet and ducking down behind a pair of janitor's coveralls, Oh, please don't come in now!

Several moments ticked past without a sound, and Misato nearly screamed as a voice just outside the closet muttered, "Aww fuck it! Probably gone by now - and the goods are still here."

"Very well," Gendou's voice returned.

Risking a peek out of her hiding place, Misato found Fletcher offering Gendou a small key.

"So what do you think?" Fletcher asked, grinning as Gendou opened the metal box, "Enough there for that project of yours?"

"For the time being," Gendou nodded decisively, taking something from the box and slipping it into his pocket, "you will be notified if we require more."

"You know we had to move the package to Brookhaven because of that business with the other one," Fletcher said hesitantly, "look there's only so much I can cover up ya know?"

"Of course," Gendou said smoothly, "don't worry - I've sent for some people, and we will be moving our operations to Hartford within a week, pending completion of the 'new branch.'"

"Got it," Fletcher nodded, "I've got a spare basement key at my place, I'll just go snag it and meet you over there." He hesitated again. "By the way, I saw that doctor of yours, but I lost her in the fog. Bitch moves pretty fast."

Gendou nodded. "Indeed she does - I saw her myself at a bowling alley not long ago, dealing with one of the local. inhabitants." He adjusted his glasses on his nose, assessing the other man for a moment before murmuring, "Speaking of locals, I was wondering if you could shed some light on just why, exactly, one of your police cruisers chose to ram my car off the road."

"I told you on the way over, I don't know anything about that!" Fletcher said hotly.

"It would be in your best interest to ensure the truthfulness of that statement," Gendou said coolly, sliding his right hand into his pocket and gesturing for the other man to lead the way, "the implications of dishonesty could be. unpleasant."

Their voices became inaudible as they moved away, and Misato heaved a sigh of relief, her mind racing as she tried to puzzle out what was happening.

What was in that box? she thought curiously, What package? And Ritsuko - god, they both saw her. they know she's around.

Misato waited until she was sure the were gone, then hurried up to the second floor. "Damn it," she muttered, finding the place empty, "she must have heard them coming."

An open window in the back of the gym's second floor confirmed this idea, leaving Misato with the sickeningly familiar feeling of being alone. Just make sure you stay away from them, she thought, squinting out into the darkness in the vain hopes of spotting the blonde woman somewhere, neither one sounded like they would be happy to see you.

"Brookhaven," she whispered, pulling out her map and surveying it closely, "just a couple blocks. I guess it couldn't hurt to just check it out, right?"

A little voice in the back of her head told her that getting involved in whatever the Commander and the local chief of police were up to could hurt very badly, but this voice was cancelled out by another that quietly insisted that where one Ikari was found, the other might not be so far away.

Damned if that isn't the faultiest logic ever, she thought, turning from the window and heading for the door, but who knows - maybe it's not that far off base. After all, I never DID find out just what the Commander is doing here.

**

Misato entered the hospital lobby and looked around, finding it just as empty as the gym. However, as she started for the stairway, basement key in hand, she spied a splash of colour.

On one of the benches in the lobby was another red envelope with the initials K.M. Alicia must have just been here, she reasoned, frowning as she found this envelope heavy and irregularly shaped, damn woman gets around more than a bus.

Misato opened the envelope, shaking a pair of keys and a note into her palm. One was square and clunky, bearing the inscription 'Director's office,' and the other was smaller and unmarked - like a padlock's key. Absently, she pocketed the keys, her eyes quickly scanning the note's contents.

Dear Miss Katsuragi

The fact you are here means you've searched the locker at the gym. Now I am sure that you are curious as to what the basement contains, but before you go there, might I suggest a quick visit to the director's office? There is a map on the wall to your left that will guide you, and I believe what can be found there will be of interest to you.

-A

P.S. Though I am sure that you are already aware of this, I do feel the need to advise you to be cautious around Misters Ikari and Fletcher.

Yeah, Misato decided, definitely Alicia - vague and unclear. super.

After a moment's thought, she decided to follow Alicia's suggestion and head to the director's office. She headed through the hospital, encountering no creatures or other humans along the way, and soon found herself in front of an office marked 'J.C. Carter Director.'

"Guess that's it," she muttered dryly, aware that every time she spoke to herself, it sounded crazier.

Better than silence, she thought, slipping the key into the lock and giving it a turn.

The office was fairly mundane. Like Fletcher's office, there was a row of family photographs, a variety of reports on medical conditions, and a small offering of medical certificates hanging proudly on one wall. The desk, however, yielded some very interesting results.

"Hello."

Misato pulled on the bottom drawer again, finding that it was definitely locked. With a sense of knowing, she slipped the unmarked key from the envelope into the small lock and turned it, feeling no real surprise as a soft unlatching sound came from the drawer. Pulling the drawer open, she found a small stack of paper.

"Why lock a fax in a bottom drawer?" she mused, frowning slightly. "Must be important."

Dr. Carter,

I know that it is short notice, but I will be requiring the use of your facilities for a few days. I know you will agree that cooperating is a far better alternative to having your friends and family find out exactly you do when you lock your office door after hours. A mutual friend told me all about it, and be confident that I have enough documentation to ensure that word spreads quickly.

Rest assured, doctor, this will only be a temporary measure.

-I

Misato frowned as she leafed through the attached papers.

John Doe. 30-35 year old male of Japanese ethnicity. No background, no medical history. Assaulted local police officer. Statements from the officer indicate John Doe wrestled for the officer's gun, resulting in accidental discharge, hitting John Doe in the throat. Subject was D.O.A. though resulting toxicity screening detected large quantities of White Claudia in his system. Details regarding this matter are to be referred directly to the officer involved in this case, A. Fletcher.

Why would the director keep an autopsy report? Misato wondered, don't those things usually get filed somewhere? And Fletcher again.

Misato was curious as to who this 'John Doe' might be. Doesn't seem like there's a TON of Japanse people around he-arrghh!! This is a waste of time!! None of this relevant to finding Shinji - he could be in trouble while I'm here fucking around.

Misato replaced the papers in the drawer, torn between just leaving and heading to the lighthouse and going down into the basement to find out what Fletcher and Gendou were so keen on getting to. Stepping out of the office, she was forced to slap her hands over her ears as the deafening scream she had heard twice before filled her mind, leaving her breathless and shaking. Opening her eyes, she found herself surrounded by dirt and decay, the smell of rot assailing her, just like in the school and Amber's house.

Ah man not this again!!!

Her attention was drawn to her right, where she found a pair of the 'nurses' that were in the Ridgeview clinic shuffling down the hallway towards her, knives dangling with deceptive ease from their deformed hands. Grimly, her mind insisting that these were once humans, Misato raised her shotgun and fired twice, killing the two creatures outright.

"Time to get going, I guess," she muttered, taking a second to load more shells.

She made her way to the front door, encountering several packs of 'nurses' and a couple of 'doctors' (different from the nurses only in their long coats and taller stature) but as she reached the exit, she found it barred by heavy chains and padlocks.

"Well I sure as hell can't break it down," she muttered, banging on the door in frustration.

Misato then remembered the key in her pocket. Guess we're going down, she told herself pragmatically, What did Commander Ikari and Fletcher want to cover up so bad? God, I hope they're not THERE already!

Taking a deep breath, she sprinted back to the door to the basement, slipping the key into the lock.

"Now then."

**

The basement was as she had expected. Dark, dank, and smelling of things long deceased. She could only imagine that in the 'real' world it would smell pleasantly of antiseptic and linen, but this was definitely not the world she knew. And I thought my office was bad, she thought, amazed that she could still joke as she stood in front of the first door in the basement corridor.

She paused as she heard a noise on the other side, bringing her shotgun up to shoulder level and stepping to the side as she clicked off her flashlight. A moment later, the door swung open and a tiny beam of light appeared, pointing down the hallway in the direction Misato had come from.

Oh my God, Misato thought, lowering her weapon as she studied the profile of the person wielding the flashlight.

"Amber?"

Though she spoke as quietly as possible, the girl still jumped, dropping her small flashlight to the floor with a startled squeal. "M-Miss Katsuragi?!"

Misato smiled weakly. "I'm glad you're ok," she said honestly, "when you ran out of your house. God, I- you know what, never mind. I'm just glad you're ok."

Amber nodded, but she looked a little distracted, glancing up and down the hallway as if she expected someone to round the corner at any minute. "You should sit down," she said suddenly, gesturing for Misato to come into the office, "you look tired."

Shrugging the girl's discomfort off as nerves, Misato came into the office and sat down on the grubby couch. Hey, she figured, at least it's soft.

Amber sat down on the edge of the office's small desk, clasping her hands in front of her and biting her bottom lip pensively. "So," she said after a moment of quiet, "Still no sign of Shinji?"

Misato shook her head, rubbing her eyes tiredly as the girl began fidgeting with her skirt.

"Ummm, I don't mean to pry," Amber said finally, "but why did Shinji run away from you?"

Now it was Misato's turn to bite her lip. "He worked for NERV as. as an EVA pilot," she began slowly; "He lived with me and another pilot for a while. I was his commander."

Amber nodded thoughtfully. "He always was kind of tense," she said quietly, "like he was expecting something to happen at any minute." She tilted her head to the side. "The other EVA pilot. what was he like?"

"She," Misato corrected, "Her name's Asuka." She took a deep breath. "Asuka was. very prideful," she said calmly, "quite arrogant and bad tempered sometimes. but she was very intelligent - so intelligent that she graduated from Berlin University at 14."

"Graduated from University!?" gasped Amber.

"Yep," Misato nodded, "but NERV still had her going to school with Shinji."

Amber frowned. "Even though she'd already finished college?"

Misato shrugged. "Yeah, but that's just the start of her issues. she also had a thing for a.former boyfriend of mine. His name was Kaji."

"Wow," Amber said, clearly impressed, "So was she ok with that? Going to school and stuff, I mean."

"Not really," Misato mumbled, "I told her when in Rome, but she was still kinda pissy about everything."

Amber shook her head. "I can understand why," the girl said softly, "if she graduated college when she was that young, she's probably smarter then you or me - and from what you told me about her, she would have taken that as disrespect." Abruptly, she averted her eyes. "Sorry, that was rude."

Misato waved her hand dismissively. "Don't sweat it," she murmured, "but she was also very disdainful of Shinji. there were several occasions where she insulted, degraded, and even beat Shinji up a bit. I tried to intervene as best I could but.no matter what I did, it just seemed to get worse and worse."

In hindsight, having Asuka move in with her and Shinji was probably not the best idea she had ever had. True, it was partly NERV's decision but it was ultimately her call on whether or not the redhead moved in.

"Everything really went downhill after Kaji and me renewed our relationship," she said reluctantly, "Asuka was jealous, of course, but I didn't pay it that much mind. And she kept saying she how much she disliked Shinji but then she kissed him and well. hell, I don't know."

"Kisses don't mean all that much," Amber said knowledgeably, "well, not all kisses anyway. I had my first kiss with an older boy and we were never boyfriend girlfriend. We just. did it, you know?"

"I suppose you're right," Misato conceded, "Asuka DID say she was bored."

Misato wondered suddenly if all her intervention on Shinji's behalf had only served to make the situation worse. Well I didn't try and get them to hook up, she thought defensively, I just. kind of defended him when he wasn't around. Damn. maybe I should have done it when he was THERE, too.

She refocused her attention as Amber began speaking. "When I met Shinji he seemed like a really nice guy," the girl said thoughtfully, "a little on the shy and quiet side but there was a lot about him to like, you know? A lot of guys have these huge egos, so it's more like being talked at rather then being talked to. With Shinji - when I could actually get him to say more than two words - it was like I was really communicating. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Misato said with a smile. Shinji was not like most guys she had met: he would actually shut up and listen - and he definitely had his fair share of humility, so egotism was one concern any potential girlfriend need never fear.

I could see her with him, Misato thought, sizing Amber up, she's cute, nice, smart. Maybe if we all make it out of this.

"What happened?"

"Hmm?" Misato blinked. "Sorry, I was daydreaming."

"It's ok," Amber said brightly, I do it all the time. I was just saying, what happened? With Kaji and Asuka and everything."

"Asuka was seriously injured by an Angel," Misato continued softly, "and. and she had some kind of breakdown, eventually falling into a coma. And Kaji he.he."

Suddenly it was all too much. The angels, Shinji, Kaji, Asuka, the sleepless nights, the guilt, this town, that answering machine message, everything collided in Misato's mind, and before she could stop herself, she burst into tears, covering her face with her palms and sobbing miserably as she realized there were some things a person could never get back. and at least two of them she had been directly responsible for losing.

After a moment she felt a pair of arms clumsily circling her heaving shoulders. "I'm sorry," Amber whispered, gently stroking the older woman's hair.

"M-me too," Misato gasped, returning Amber's hug almost guiltily - as if she did not deserve the simple comfort of knowing someone else in the world cared.

When she had gotten herself under control, she slowly let the girl go. "After. that," she said slowly, "I decided to continue what Kaji had begun and I.I.wound up ignoring a lot of people, pushing them away - including Shinji.he found made friends with an angel who looked human and." Misato recounted the rest, reluctantly including the last words she had spoken to Shinji.

"That was. kind of mean," Amber whispered awkwardly, "Why would you say something like that to him?"

"Well," Misato said, feeling somehow lighter for confessing all of her sins to this girl, "during Second impact." she detailed her memory of that horrible day - every bit of it, including the argument she had with her father in the morning over breakfast, of all things, and ending with him putting her so gently into the escape pod, sacrificing his own life to save hers.

".And to this day I still don't know whether I loved him or hate him," she concluded.

Amber considered everything for several minutes before whispering, "Misato, I.I think that boy Kaworu made the same choice your father made. I don't mean to sound like I know everything, but to me it seems like he wanted Shinji to live as much as your dad wanted you to. I may not know your dad, and. and I might have just met you, but I think he would have wanted you to move on and be happy, you know? I know if it was someone I cared for, I wouldn't want them to be sad."

Misato smiled, averting her eyes and trying her best to believe in the girl's earnest assessment. "Thanks."

"Hi." Amber smiled.

"It's 'hai,'" Misato laughed, "but you were close."

Amber grinned sheepishly.

Misato rose from the couch. "Amber," she said quietly, "I need to check out the basement. there might be something really important down here, so can you wait here for me? I'll be right back, so don't go anywhere."

Amber nodded. "I won't," she said firmly, "I'll just lock the door and wait for you to get back - promise."

Misato hefted her shotgun and headed for the door. "I'm holding you to that," she said gently, "we're all leaving here together."

"Yes ma'am!"

**

The rest of the basement proved to be rather lacklustre. Storage rooms filled with useless papers, discarded medical paraphernalia, and one closet populated entirely with dead rats. Very sanitary, Misato thought, grimacing in distaste as she forced the door closed. Just that room at the end of the hall and - ouch! She looked down in confusion as something jabbed at her finger. Amber's ring! Damn it, I should have given it to her!

With a sigh, she slipped it off her finger and dropped it in her skirt pocket, walking over to the last door and pushing it open. "Must be getting senile in my old age," she muttered, stepping through the door, "I talked to her for what, twenty min-"

She was cut off as the door slammed shut behind her, an eerie moan echoing through the large room.

Crap.

Quickly surveying the room, Misato found herself in a very bad situation. Dominating the centre of the room was a tall, featureless figure, humanoid in shape but lacking defining characteristics - no mouth, ears, eyes, or nose graced its oblong cranium. Its skin was a pale, sickly off-white, like a tunnelling worm that had never seen the light of day, and as her flashlight played over it, another jarring moan rent the air.

"First chains, now ropes," Misato mumbled, taking a careful step back as the hundreds of ropes hanging from where the creature's arms should have been swayed as if caught in an unseen breeze. "Right."

Before she could so much as blink, a dozen ropes whipped out of the darkness, driving her back against the door with a startled cry and knocking the shotgun from her hands. She scrambled across the floor, reaching under her jacket and drawing her pistol as another two dozen ropes shot towards her. Keep moving, she thought, desperately trying to draw a bead on the thing's body, just-

"Wuhhff."

The world went upside down as one of the ropes lashed around her right ankle, bringing her to an abrupt and complete stop. Frantically, Misato reached into her jacket pocket, trying to find the knife she had found in the school, but it was too late. Seven more ropes joined the first, wrapping cocoon-like around her legs and up to her waist.

"No!"

Misato's cry of horror echoed through the room, the last coherent sound she was able to make as another rope shot out of the darkness and wrapped around her throat.

She gasped, trying hard to breathe as the rope slowly tightened, cutting off her oxygen supply. Can't die here. she thought, black spots dancing in front of her vision as her right hand - miraculously free - came up, jittering and shaking as the woman tried her best to aim through the haze of pain and breathlessness.

Have. to. find. him!!

Convulsively, her finger jerked the trigger, sending a single bullet hurtling through the distance between them.

Missed. Misato thought distantly, the pain in her chest lessening as consciousness started slipping away. Can't. believe. I. missed.

In the darkest corner of her mind, a soft voice whispered.

I

Mustn't

Run

Away

With a silent scream, Misato dragged herself back from the brink, WILLING her finger to pull, pull, pull, over and over again, blindly, desperately, each shot punctuated by a single name echoing over and over in her mind.

Shinji. Shinji. Shinji. Shinji. Shinji.

Abruptly, white light filled her vision, accompanied by a hard THUMP as something hard and unyielding slammed into the back of her head, and she was.

.lying on her back, forcing air into her lungs, the smell of rot and decay completely absent. All she could hear was a dry, 'click, click, click,' coming from somewhere to her right. Shaking, coughing, trying to get her bearings, Misato rolled onto her side, thrusting the gun out in front of her in what she hoped was the direction of the monster.

But there was nothing there. Once again, she found herself facing an empty room, the far side of the wall scored with numerous, fresh bullet holes. "Too. close," she rasped, staring down at her hand with numb shock.

Her finger was still squeezing the trigger.

'click'

'click'

'click'

Taking a deep breath, Misato reached down and pulled the gun from her own hand, wondering why she could not stop her finger from moving. I can't be here anymore, she thought desperately, I don't want to die here - God, please, I just want to go home!!

Abruptly, she brought the handle of the pistol down on the back of her right hand, gasping as pain blossomed in her mind. "Th-there," she panted, flexing her aching hand a few times, her forefinger finally stilling, "have to. get a grip."

Misato slowly rose to her feet, popping the empty clip out of her handgun and slapping a fresh one in before retrieving her heavier weapon. She was definitely back in the 'real' world, though now that she was not fighting for her life, it was clear that she was standing in a recovery room of some sort.

Send them to the basement to get better, she thought, trying her best to pretend that she had not just come face to face with her own death, we've got all the essentials: bed, IV line, file cabinet. Hmmm.

Curiously, she opened the filing cabinet, pulling out a manila envelope and reading, "Progress report, subject: R.K.."

1st November 2015

Subject appears to be responding to dosage quite well. So far, effects of 'Sakura' are limited, but that is to be expected as subject adjusts to compound. Will keep note of any progress. Gunshot wound is healing nicely.

15th November 2015

Subject uncooperative today. Needed to be restrained and forcefully dosed. Popped a stitch.

22nd November 2015

Subject finally showing favourable response. Exhibited quick obedience to simple commands from handler designate 'Prudence.' Still unwilling to take direction from handlers 'Faith,' 'Providence,' or 'Charity.' Recommend upping dosage to 15 ML.

31st November 2015

Subject has escaped. Mister 'I' was not too pleased about this.has authorised the 'second section' of his organization to track him.

1st December 2015

Subject has been shot by the police. Mister 'I' states that this is no cause for alarm - alternate subject to arrive shortly.

Misato leafed through the other papers in the folder, trying to make sense of the chemical and dosing notations. "Handlers," she whispered, shaking her head, "they talk like he was an. ani. mal." her voice trailed off into shock as she stared at a photo marked, 'Crime scene photo, property of SHPD - do not remove!' In the stark, black and white photo, a male body lay face up on the concrete, a single, perfectly round bullet hole in his throat and an expression of such profound peace on his face that Misato felt almost envious.

"God."

In the bright glare of the flash, there was no mistaking the identity of 'John Doe.'

"Kaji." she sobbed, dropping the folder and falling to her knees, "Oh God. Kaji!!"

It isn't real, her mind railed, it isn't real!! He was alive. All this time, he was alive! They kept him like a dog - oh, they're going to PAY for this, god damn it!!

The anguish inside of her was replaced by white hot rage as she imagined her lover strapped to a bed - this very bed she was knelling by - and forced to take some horrible 'compound' that made him 'obedient.' "Handlers," she whispered, slowly rising to her feet and staring at the bed with narrowed eyes, "maybe we'll find out how they handle a fucking bullet to the head, I-"

Misato's rant was cut off as something cold and hard pressed against the back of her neck. "I'm afraid I cannot allow that, Major," a voice behind her murmured, "Drop your gun."

TBC


	7. True Colours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato learns of NERV activities in Silent Hill but also more about the Police Chief of Silent Hill Aaron Fletcher.

Chapter 6 - True Colours

Misato's knelt, very carefully, and placed the shotgun on the floor, swallowing hard as Gendou stepped into view on her left side and slid his hand into her jacket, his lips compressed into a thin line as he pulled her service pistol and dropped it on the floor. Ohhh, not good, Misato thought, taking stock of her options as the cool, smooth barrel of an assault rifle pressed tighter against the nape of her neck.

"Now turn around," Fletcher's voice ordered, the barrel pulling away from her skin.

With her hands up, Misato turned and found both Ikari and Fletcher standing in front of her, their weapons aimed at her forehead (Fletcher) and her stomach (Ikari).

"So you were the one who opened the locker before us," Gendou said, regarding Misato with a coldly appraising glance. "What are you doing here, Major? I would think that you would have the sense to know when your presence is neither required nor needed."

Misato drew a deep breath. Well, she thought, when you got nothing to lose, sometimes you just have to say fuck it.

"I was just curious about the properties of something called 'Sakura,'" she said boldly, "it seems like you and the chief here have gone to a great deal of trouble to make sure no one finds out that you've been testing it. feel like letting me in on the secret?"

Fletcher looked edgy, glancing around the room and tightening his hold on the assault rifle in his hands, but Gendou's features bent into an indulgent smile - as if he was talking to a rather dim-witted child. "I don't suppose telling you will affect much," he said smoothly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, opaque vial, "after all. after seeing all that you have seen, you will not be leaving this basement."

Misato fought the urge to shiver, meeting her Commander's gaze head on and waiting silently for him to continue. We'll just see who walks out of here and who doesn't.

"Project Sakura is an experiment in methods of making an EVA pilot more.co- operative," Gendou said, clearly pleased to be explaining his program to someone with the capacity to fully appreciate it. "This current incarnation utilizes a drug extracted from a flower unique to this region called 'White Claudia,' a mild narcotic at its weakest. but a powerful personality suppressor when compounded with a few other key elements."

"You were planning to control the Children with DRUGS!?" Misato snapped, unable to contain her anger.

Kaji is one thing, she thought, her fingers itching to close around the man's neck, he knew what he was getting into when he started poking around - but Shinji, Asuka, and Rei? They're just KIDS! "When broken down to its most basic, yes," Gendou said mildly, slipping the vial back into his pocket. "White Claudia's potential applications in 'brainwashing,' if you will, were quite enormous and I was often frustrated that I had no method to use to ensure that the Children were obedient to my instruction without undermining their piloting ability until I discovered its properties. The disappearance of the Second Branch was a minor inconvenience, as one of their facilities was testing the limitations of the compound, thus I was forced to have Chief Fletcher here arrange some facilities for us and provide us with more of the base ingredient."

Misato glared at Fletcher, who simply shrugged and added, "Well actually, I was more of a middle man - can't be actually involved in things like that you know, I do have a reputation to uphold."

Gendou frowned at the interruption, continuing, "The directors of both Ridgeview and Brookhaven were quite co-operative, and-"

"Yeah, when you blackmailed them," Misato muttered disgustedly.

"The director of Ridgeview has an addiction to White Claudia," Fletcher clarified, grinning as he added, "and Carter.well he fucks around with some of the nurses and kind of has an.'unhealthy' attitude towards sex - which includes a rather nasty penchant for sadomasochistic practices. Some of his 'employees' were hurt. he had the poor judgement to tape it."

Misato straightened her back. "Where does Kaji fit into of all this?"

Gendou took a discrete, cautionary step back. "Ahh Agent Kaji," he said slowly, "I thought he would be a worthwhile test subject. and seeing as how he had decided to pursue his own agenda rather than my own, I ordered Section Two to have him brought in alive and transferred to Ridgeview where our temporary facilities were set up. Within a month they had made excellent progress," he shot Fletcher a disdainful glance, "until he escaped, that is."

"What really happened?" Misato looked pointedly at the police chief, who shrugged indifferently.

"Well after he escaped I found him near the Lonsdale apartments," Fletcher said coolly, "I hadn't been able to find him for nearly 24 hours, so I was sure he'd skipped town, then I spotted him down an alley - and hey, you Japs aren't all that common around here, right? So even thought it was dark, I knew it was him." Spotting Gendou's narrowed eyes, the man hurried on. "Anyway, I tried to bring him in quiet - you know, tell him I'm here to help him, all that crap, but he must have recognized me. Fucker waited until I got close, holding his stomach and pretending to be in pain, and then made a move for my gun." He shrugged. "The rest is in the report."

No mention of Shinji, the thought popped into Misato's mind like a bullet hitting her in the forehead, maybe they don't know he's here? Hell, it sounded like they didn't know Ritsuko was here until they saw her.but who in the hell is this 'alternate subject'? Maybe a native? Damn it, I hate being in the dark!

Misato braced herself as the Commander brought his gun up and thumbed the hammer back.

"Someone else will find out," she said levelly, refusing to close her eyes as Fletcher readied the assault rifle, mirroring Gendou's pose. "Something this big will be uncovered by someone, and-"

"Unlikely," Gendou cut in coolly. "Goodbye, Major."

Misato kept her silence, waiting for the inevitable. I never thought he would stoop to this, she thought grimly, her eyes meeting Gendou's as her lips compressed to a thin line, controlling people with drugs, taking away even the most basic freedom. it's sick! God, I don't suppose you could do me a favour and hit him with lightening do you? Maybe it's a selfish last request, but someone needs to take this bastard out!

In spite of her best efforts, the sound of gunfire made Misato cry out, her eyes clenching instinctively closed. When she was still standing a moment later, she risked a peek out of her right eye, finding the two men staring at the only door from the room.

"I'll check it out," Fletcher mumbled, hefting his assault rifle and starting for the door, "might be your doctor friend."

Gendou nodded. "I'll finish up here," he said calmly, levelling his pistol at Misato as the policeman made his exit. "You really should have stayed out of this Major;" he said quietly, "what we're doing here is for the sake of all humanit-"

He was cut off by Misato's laughter. It was not a humorous laugh but a cold, bitter sound that dripped with contempt. "That's what you keep saying," she said, shaking her head ruefully, "but the fact is you're only in for yourself - you don't give a shit about defending humanity! All you care about is yourself. good god; you don't even give a fuck about your own wife and son! Their just more means to your ends!"

Gendou's normally blank expression contorted to rage. "What would you know about it?" he snapped. "I-"

"Have no room for trivialities like a wife who died so you could have your precious 'scenario' - you never really gave a fuck about her! Did you wait until after the funeral before abandoning your son, or did you kick him out before the LCL was cold?!"

"I didn't-"

"You found time to raise Rei, though," Misato whispered, taking great pleasure in seeing the Commander at a loss for words, "how convenient."

Their exchange was cut off by the sound of the door banging open. As Gendou turned to make sure it was Fletcher coming in, Misato made her move; grabbing the man's gun hand and whipping him back around, making sure to keep the barrel of his pistol faced away from her as she brought her knee up into his stomach, driving the air from his lungs. As he stumbled, gasping for breath, Misato drove her right fist into his jaw, sending him to the floor in an undignified heap.

Keep moving! she told herself, diving to the floor and coming up with her pistol in one hand, whirling around to face the door, fully prepared to open fire on the blonde police chief.

"Damn," the woman in the doorway muttered, lowering her shotgun, "you work quick." Ritsuko shook her head as Misato opened her mouth, forestalling any questions. "No time - let's go!"

"Wait," Misato called, scooping up her shotgun and hurrying to the door, "in the first office on this floor, there's a girl, I-"

"There's no one here but us!" Ritsuko cut in quickly, "I was just in that office - now come on!!"

Reluctantly, Misato let herself be led away, praying once more that the teen was ok as they rushed out of Brookhaven as fast as they could.

**

The run from the hospital was so fast and adrenaline driven that Misato barely even knew where she was. "In here!" Ritsuko gasped, yanking the other woman into a nearby house whose door was slightly ajar.

"Thanks. Ritsu." Misato panted, resting her hands on her knees and leaning forward to catch her breath, "didn't. think I'd. make it that time."

"No. problem." Ritsuko panted back, drawing in a few deep breaths to calm down, "I was just walking down the hall, looking for you, when I heard Gen- Commander Ikari's voice. I heard the whole thing." She leaned against the house's front door, wiping sweat from her brow. "I ducked back into one of the offices and fired a shot, knowing they couldn't just ignore it, and prayed they would come check it out BEFORE finishing you off." She shrugged uncomfortably, averting her eyes. "Sorry," she mumbled, "I just didn't think I could take them both head on."

Misato nodded. "I understand," she said soothingly, "believe me, I'm not complaining - but what happened to Fletcher?"

Ritsuko grinned. "Oh, he's in a closet with a golf club through the handles," she said airily, "I imagine he's broken it down by now, though."

Misato did not doubt it. Fletcher was a powerfully built man and it would not be impossible for him to break through solid oak, in her opinion.

"So," Ritsuko said slowly, "What happened? I. I heard them coming into the gym, but I couldn't get back downstairs to warn you." She smiled weakly. "Looks like I'm not much of a partner."

Misato shrugged the apology off, quickly telling Ritsuko about all that had happened since their separation, including the Sakura project and everything she understood of it. Ritsuko's face fell as Misato told her what happened to Kaji and she showed genuine horror that their old college friend would be strapped to a bed like an animal and treated with drugs that made him 'obedient.'

"I thought that program was shut down long ago." Ritsuko muttered, looking visibly shocked that anyone could try to control another person for the sake of 'humanity.' "It was from my mother's time but."

Misato only nodded. This time she could believe Ritsuko - because while they had their differences in the past, there were some things you just KNEW about a person, and Misato knew that Ritsuko was as disgusted by this as she was.

"Wonder who that alternate subject could be." Ritsuko mused.

Both shuddered at the thought of someone else being subjected to these barbaric mind control experiments.

"Do you think it could be Shinji?" Misato asked softly, not truly wanting to hear the answer.

Ritsuko thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "I don't think so." she said finally, "I doubt Gendou even knew Shinji or I were here. It's likely he's having the subject transported in, or he might have been bringing their here personally.I hope its not."

Misato caught 'Maya' on Ritsuko's lips as the woman cut herself off, and she paled just imagining what would happen to the naïve tech if Gendou found out that she helped Ritsuko escape.

"Huh? What this?" Ritsuko said suddenly, pointing to a photo hanging on the wall with a look of recognition.

Misato turned around, reading the plaque underneath a small frown. United States Marine Corps huh? Hey! She gasped as she recognized the blonde hair and younger, but still recognizable features of one of the soldiers in the photo.

"Holy shit we're at Fletcher's place!" she sputtered.

"Looks like it." Ritsuko mumbled, nodding to the living room, "seems like your average clean-cut people, don't they?" she said thoughtfully, pointing to a row of pictures showing Fletcher with his wife and son. "All- American, hotdogs and apple pie kind of family. if you ignore the psychoses."

Misato nodded, wandering through the house until she found herself in a much-used, neatly kept study on the second floor. Uniform, she thought, opening a small wardrobe in one corner, made sergeant, it looks like. and service ribbons too. You must have been a good man at some point, Fletcher. what happened? She turned to her left, finding a small, glass- front cabinet filled with a variety of photos and medals, further reinforcing the idea that the man who lived her was once more than he was now.

On a computer desk she saw a younger Fletcher standing arm in arm with a woman almost unrecognizable from the one in the photos downstairs. Happier times I guess. she thought with a trace of sadness, taking in the woman's bright smile and laughing eyes.

Misato nearly screamed as she whirled around, levelling her shotgun at the small white device that had beeped so loudly.

"Hello Aaron," a tired sounding voice issued from the small box, "this is Dorothy. I just wanted to call to say I'm sorry.I've been trying to help Edith but all she does is scream at me and Charlie. No matter what I do she gets worse and worse. I think I'm beginning to understand what you meant, and I. I have to admit that you're right.she does need professional help. Please try and call me back and I'll. I'll sign her commitment papers, okay? G-goodbye."

The answering machine fell silent again. leaving the room deathly quiet. What the hell? Misato thought, tapping the Play button over and over with no result.

"What was that?" Ritsuko asked, making her way into the study. She frowned as Misato recited as much as she could of the message, crouching down to check the plugs before muttering, "Nothing electrical has worked since this whole nightmare began. why now?"

"Don't know," Misato admitted nervously, "I really, really don't know. but I don't like it."

"Amen to that," Ritsuko whispered, "let's get out of here - we still have to find Shinji."

"And Amber," Misato added quickly.

Ritsuko sighed. "Fine," she conceded, "and Amber. see if you can find anything useful, I'll check the bedroom."

Misato quickly rummaged through Fletcher's desk, finding only a small black journal and another framed picture of his wife. but on closer inspection, she found the corner of the picture folded down, as if it had been hastily shoved back into the frame. "What's this.?"

Her eyes widened as she removed the back of the frame, finding another picture hidden behind the first. In it, she could see Fletcher smiling broadly, his right hand tucked easily around the waist of a blushing, grinning, dreamy-eyed, Amber??

There was no mistaking the teen's open, innocent features. or the possessive way Fletcher's hand was pulling the girl closer to his side. "What the hell is going on?" Misato whispered, examining the picture closely before sliding it slowly into her pocket and opening the journal. "Maybe this will shed some light on things." 6th August 2015

Edith keeps faking those symptoms and screaming at me for no fucking reason. This is really getting old! She even screamed at Charlie for being lazy, just because he didn't pick up the potato chips on his dinner plate! She said he had to be a good little boy or he was going to hell. I told her to shut the fuck up! God, I'm sick of this shit! Charlie keeps asking me what's wrong with her. what am I supposed to say? Sorry son, your mom's off her fucking rocker??

13th August 2015

Finally got the bitch to see the doctor. Man, those psych drugs are fucking expensive! I'm seriously hurting here. but I know a few ways to make it up.

Misato leafed through several more pages of mundane entries and complaining about 'the bitch.' Nothing else was truly noteworthy until.

5th November 2015

I went to the doctor to discuss our 'options.' Know what that fucker told me? "Edith's making no progress." Can you believe it? Just like that! All that fucking money down the toilet! We both agreed she should be committed (guess the fucker got all he could out of me so he wants to cut his losses), but fucking Dorothy used some power of attorney and got the bitch to live with her - Charlie too!! I told her to do whatever the hell she wants but Edith needs to be committed.

7th November 2015

Went out with A again. God, if Edith was like her, I'd never complain again! Little thing sure knows how to treat a man, that's for sure - or at least, she did once I taught-

"Misato!" Ritsuko cry drew Misato's attention from the journal. "I think you better come see this!"

Misato set the journal down, a disturbing thought half-forming in her mind as she headed down the stairs to the living room. A.

"What is-" she cut herself off as she found Ritsuko at the bottom of the stairs, holding a small red envelope with the initials, K. M. and A.R. across the front. "Another one??"

"So it seems," Ritsuko said softly, "here. I already read it."

Misato took the note and unfolded it, her lips moving unconsciously as she scanned the short page.

Miss Katsuragi, Miss Akagi

Not bad, but I do not think you will find anything significant at Mister Fletcher's home. I strongly recommend continuing on your way to the lighthouse.

-A

"Who is this from?" asked Ritsuko, turning the envelope over and over in her hands.

"Alicia." replied Misato, wishing she had something else to say, but not really knowing just how to feel about this turn of events.

Who is she? she thought suspiciously, How is it that she's always one step ahead of us?

With a deep sigh, she pocketed the enveloped, nodding towards the door. Worry about it later. just keep moving - that's the most important thing, just never stop moving.

**

Misato and Ritsuko walked along Sandford Street wrapped in thoughtful quiet, each woman pondering her own part in this unfolding drama. Misato was just opening her mouth to comment that the lighthouse should not be much farther when she spotted a small, dark-haired figure ducking through the front door of the Lake View Hotel.

"Did you just se-"

"Yes!" Ritsuko cut in, grabbing the other woman by the upper arm. "Go - GO!!"

They both entered an empty lobby, seeing no immediate sign of other life.

"I'll check this floor," Ritsuko said quickly, fighting down a giddy smile, "I think it was him, Miso."

"I'll search the second," replied Misato, "just. let's not get our hopes up, k?"

"You do it your way," Ritsuko grinned, "I'll do it mine. Meet back her in twenty."

Misato sighed as the woman headed off down the hallway, finding it hard not to be infected with her enthusiasm. It really did look like him, she thought, walking towards the stairs and starting up, I guess a LITTLE hope is ok, right?

As she searched the second floor, Misato's mind wandered back to the picture in Fletcher's desk. and the journal. "Just what is going on with those two?" she mused, closing an empty broom closet; "She couldn't be the A from his journal, could she? I mean, she's half his age!"

Shinji's half your age.

This thought brought Misato up short. "Maybe," she whispered to herself, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. "But I'm not fucking him!"

...don't you want to?

"No!" she hissed sharply. "I'm. Shinji's. we're not like that!"

...don't you want to be?

"Shut up."

Ok, Misato thought, glancing into another empty room before continuing her search, so I've CONSIDERED it. Big deal. He's a guy, I'm a girl, he's cute, I'm single - I LIVE with him - it's natural that I would think about it at least once. She gritted her teeth as she thought, yeah, but was it just once.?

"Shut. UP! I'm not a ped-" her sentence was cut short as she tripped over a bundle of cleaning cloths, sprawling painfully in the middle of the hallway. "Damn it." She started to her feet, feeling completely embarrassed as a pair of hands came up under her arms, helping her to her feet. "Thanks. but weren't you supposed to search the -wuff!"

The air left Misato's lungs in a rush as she was propelled face first into the wall, a thick forearm slipping easily around her throat as a large body pressed into her back, pinning her with ease.

"Nothing personal," Fletcher's voice grunted in her ear, his superior weight preventing her from so much as twitching, "should have stayed out of it - like your boss said." His hot breath blew against her neck as he chuckled. "Your little doctor friend is next," he said cruelly, "think I'll just snap her neck, you know? Always hated blondes with big tits - think they're so much better than you. they remind me of my wife."

Misato struggled fiercely, but it was no use. Fletcher outweighed her by at least a hundred pounds, and his forearm was thick and corded with muscle, ensuring that she was not going anywhere. Not fair. she thought almost petulantly, knowing with an abstract sense of horror that the wretched gagging sound echoing in her ears was coming from her own mouth, I just. wanted to. see him. one. more. time. God, for. give. me.

As the world started fading away, a terrific crashing sound filled her muzzy hearing, followed by a roar of enraged pain.

And suddenly, she could breathe again.

"Misato!!"

Misato staggered a few steps as Fletcher released her, and for the life of her she could not grasp why her feet were surrounded by fragments of wood.

"Misato, God da- ahhh!"

A pair of meaty 'thumps' drew Misato's head around. "R-ritsuko?" she rasped, still fighting to regain her senses as her lungs automatically drew deep, ragged gusts of air.

The blonde was doing her best to regain her footing, the shattered remains of a chair clutched desperately in one hand as she held her stomach with the other, the light from the second story window threw her face into stark relief, clearly outlining the pain and fear in her eyes.

Fletcher was towering over her, all traces of amusement now gone as blood streamed down his face. "Bitch," he hissed, sounding dazed, "fucking women - you're all the same! I give and give and give, but it's never enough! Even that stupid little girl! I give her one thing - ONE THING - to take care of and she fucks it u-"

"Hey. dickhead."

Fletcher whirled around, his eyes widening as he found Misato bracing the shotgun against her shoulder.

"Tell my boyfriend I said hi, motherfucker."

Misato nearly passed out as the shotgun kicked in her hands, driving her weakened body back into the wall, but the results were most satisfying. The blast caught Fletcher full in the chest, knocking him through the window in a hail of glass and wood.

"He. dead.?" Ritsuko managed, dropping the fragment of chair with a pained groan and doubling over to cough out a mouthful of blood and what looked suspiciously like a tooth.

"Has. to be." Misato replied, using the shotgun as a crutch to force herself to her feet, "God. he really did a number on you."

"He only hit me - ow! Twice." Ritsuko grimaced in pain, a large bruise already showing on the side of her face. "It's. lucky for you I saw him head up the stairs."

Misato took in the woman's swollen face, bleeding nose, and hunched posture, and knew that she was not going anywhere anytime soon. "Come here," she rasped, rubbing at her sore throat as she staggered over to room 204 and pushed it open, "stay here, lock the door, don't open it for anyone but me, got it?"

"Got it," Ritsuko groaned, in too much pain to offer any argument as she was lead inside and laid down on the bed. "Got any. aspirin on you.?"

Misato managed a rough chuckle, pulling the small first aid kit from her jacket pocket. "See what you can find there," she whispered hoarsely, "I'll be back with Shinji."

Ritsuko grabbed her arm as she stood to leave. "Hey," she whispered, "if he's not here. we'll keep looking."

"Damn right we will."

On her way out, Misato spied a glint of silver. Slowly, still feeling as if she could not quite get enough air, she crouched down, reaching out and picking up the small sheriff's star from the floor. Charlie, huh? she thought grimly, clutching the star tightly in her hand, did you ever think your father was a bad man?

"Of course you didn't," she whispered, hesitating, then pinning the star to her flight jacket, "I'm sorry."

Silently, she turned from the wreckage of the window and continued her search.

**

The second and third floors proved to be devoid of life, reducing Misato's hopes with each empty room she passed. Found another first aid kit though, she thought, trying to stay optimistic as she headed towards the stairs back down, reasoning that Ritsuko probably did not have enough time to properly explore the first floor. And one of the guests must have been on a hunting trip, because that was a lot of gear. She grinned, patting her newly acquired leg pouch.

"They won't mind," she thought, pushing the door marked 3 open with one hand, "I'll bring it back later - and Hell, I'll even pay them back for the rifle shells! Sure I don't need them now, but you can't be too caref-"

She was cut off as another scream ripped through her mind, leaving her breathless. Crap!!

Carpet and quaint paintings were replaced by rusted grates and grotesque murals, the stench of rot and decay nearly overpowering her as she quickly swept the hallway for anything walking, staggering, slouching, or slithering her way.

"Oh that's just perfect," she growled, turning to find that a large iron grate now covered the stairs down. "I'd take the elevator, but I don't-"

Stop TALKING TO YOURSELF!!!

"Guess we go up," Misato muttered, ignoring the mental command and starting up the stairs to the roof. The door to the roof opened with a rusty creak, sending shivers up and down Misato's spine. but as she stepped out onto the roof, she found her breath stolen by the view offered her.

For miles and miles, in every direction she looked, rusted metal and decaying towers dominated the scenery. It was as if she had been plucked from the world she knew and dropped onto some bizarre, alien landscape - a place so used up and tired that it could no longer support life. This idea was reinforced as she gazed out into the dark, seeing points of light from huge, unseen spotlights casting beams of useless illumination up into the night.

Useless because there's no one here to see it, Misato thought, fighting a wave of melancholy so powerful it nearly drove her to her knees, this place - this VERSION of Silent Hill. is dead, and has been forever, and ever, and ever, and ever. God, what's HAPPENING here?!?

A low droning sound made her look to her right, and on instinct alone, she stepped back, just escaping a spray of some acidic substance issued from the open maw of the gigantic, fly-like creature whirring towards her face.

A housefly's vomit can dissolve almost anything organic, she thought distantly, bringing her shotgun up and neatly sidestepping the thing's charge, was it Kaji who taught me that. or mama.?

It all seemed so pointless all of the sudden. If this place, this world she was in, could just sputter out and die. what hope could the 'real' world have for the future?

Maybe this IS the future, Misato thought, walking sideways and firing a burst as the fly-thing made another pass, the Commander's always going on about how Humanity is a society of worthlessness - maybe this is how it all ends. with rot and darkness and emptiness.

A cold wave washed over her at the feeling of HONESTY this thought held, and Misato slowly fell to her knees, closing her eyes as the fly-thing buzzed off into the darkness, presumably to make a faster run from an unseen tangent.

"I have seen the future," she whispered, keeping her eyes tightly closed as tears began slowly streaming down her face, "and there is only darkness."

From somewhere to her right, the buzzing sound reappeared, sounding louder and somehow angrier as it sped towards her.

"But you know something.?" Misato asked the empty town before her, ignoring the buzzing as it grew closer and closer.

"I'm not ready to die yet."

Trusting her hearing alone, Misato whipped the shotgun up and fired one- handed, letting her body move with the recoil and falling sideways onto the rusted rooftop.

No, she thought tiredly, ignoring the screaming in her mind and the white light all around as her weapon's buckshot vaporized the fly-thing's head and sent her back to the 'real' world, not just yet.

**

"Good afternoon, Miss Katsuragi."

Misato showed no real surprise as she pushed open the door to room 204 and found Alicia sitting comfortably in a chair next to Ritsuko's bed. "Thought I told you not to unlock the door.?" she whispered.

Ritsuko shook her head, looking nervously at the woman in the blue dress. "I didn't."

"Ahh."

Alicia smiled indulgently. "You are wondering, I'm sure, what is going on."

"You could say that," Misato muttered tiredly, "I had a look into the abyss. and I don't like what I saw."

"Well, you know the old saying," Alicia said lightly, "'Those who stare into the abyss beware - for as you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares into you.'"

"Tell me what's happening here," Misato said flatly, ignoring Ritsuko entirely, "what I'm. seeing, is that-"

"This is the work of a far greater power," Alicia cut in gently, "a power that knows and senses."

"What are you talking about?" Misato demanded. "Damn it, be clear!!"

"That power wouldn't happen to be worshipped here? Would it?" asked Ritsuko, giving her friend a worried glance.

Alicia smiled but did not answer, rising to her feet and arranging her dress serenely as she started towards the door.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" yelled Misato, the lethargy of the roof melting before the rage welling up within her. "Answer me, goddamn it!!"

Alicia raised a hand for quiet, opening the door and taking a deep, even breath.

"Go to the lighthouse. you will find answers there."

She stepped out without another word, closing the door behind her. Misato immediately tore it back open, her mouth open to call the woman back. but the hallway was empty.

"Damn! That is so annoying."

"Guess we know there's nothing here, huh?" Ritsuko said, trying to make her voice light in spite of her shared annoyance of the woman's behaviour. "Let's go. I'm ok now."

Misato could only nod in agreement as they made their way out of the hotel and started off towards the lighthouse.

TBC


	8. The Lighthouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato's search leads her to the lighthouse

Chapter 7 – The Lighthouse

Misato heaved a weary sigh as the lighthouse came into view, shaking off a tired yawn as she and Ritsuko jogged towards the tall structure. How long have I been here? she asked herself, slightly disturbed to realize that she was not entirely sure, It's been less than a day… hasn't it?? God, it feels like forever. This place just, just DRAINS you! Wouldn't surprise me if I got home and found out I'd been gone for ten years.

She cast a sideways glance at her old friend, thinking abstractly that the woman bore a passing resemblance to Fletcher's wife.

Just around the eyes, she thought idly, swinging her shotgun around as a sound echoed out of the fog, but it's there. Maybe she's a distant cousin or something, who knows? She refocused her attention on the road. You know, I guess I can't really blame Fletcher. If I had a kid, I'd probably go through Hell to get him back.

She shook her head, reminding herself that she was currently doing just that.

"You alright Misato?" asked Ritsuko.

"Yeah," Misato said gustily, "just thinking a little about our friend Fletcher. Man, I thought I had issues with Kaji – but that guy's marriage was like a minefield!"

"How do you know?"

Misato kept scanning the street for any potential danger as she outlined all that she had read in Fletcher's journal – excepting the part about Amber. I don't KNOW that was Amber, she thought as she wound down, and even if it was – that girl is leaving with us. Ritsuko doesn't need to know about her past right now.

"I've never cared much for psych drugs," Ritsuko said thoughtfully, "too many side effects. But still, it looks like his wife had some very serious psychiatric problem – or problems – so perhaps committing her is for the best. I don't think they were making a mistake."

Misato nodded, thinking back again to what was with wisdom of hindsight HER greatest mistake. Having Asuka live with her and Shinji was the one thing she had never really repented, even when she was beginning to realise it. 

I should have had Asuka live alone, she lamented, or maybe move her in with someone else. The truth is that I never got my priorities straight. Even when I saw that I was making a mistake I didn't admit it!!! When I saw how Asuka was treating Shinji, I really should have had her move out, or at least told her "Look! I won't tolerate this behaviour! I can't let you stay here anymore!" Instead I took the worst option at every turn

A more disturbing thought followed this one, making Misato shiver: How much did I contribute to her breakdown? Hell, did I even NOTICE before she was over the brink and on her way down?

"Are you alright, Misato?" Ritsuko asked again, "Man, you're starting to freak me out here – you keep going all spacey!"

"Yeah I was just thinking about…Asuka," Misato sighed, running her hand over her face. "I just keep asking myself if it was a mistake to have her move in with me and Shinji."

Ritsuko bit her lip for a moment before murmuring, "Misato…don't take this the wrong way but, yeah, I think maybe it was a mistake. I mean, I don't think this is the time for lies, so," she cleared her throat, a clear note of regret in her tone as she concluded, "I think you did make a mistake and I highly doubt Asuka's treatment of Shinji was any good for him at all." She shrugged uncomfortably.

"Thanks," Misato said softly, "I… I think I needed to hear it from someone else. I've often imagined Shinji asking what he did to deserve the treatment he got, and I've often wondered that myself. Sometimes it seemed so bad that I was tempted to throw Asuka in the brig." She gave a weak chuckle. "Well, she never like, beat him or anything, but she was pretty rough on him verbally."

Ritsuko nodded. "I don't blame you for feeling that way," she said quietly, "and I had my own contributions to that situation as well."

"How so?" Misato asked uncertainly.

"There were three people in NERV who could have removed you as her guardian," Ritsuko said reluctantly, looking as if she felt that her earlier declaration of truth being the best policy was now not such a great idea, "Commander Ikari, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki… and myself. I'm not offering commentary on your ability as a guardian, but I had entertained thoughts of moving Asuka out of your care and putting her with someone else." She glanced off into the distance, "But I never did. There was always something more pressing, you know…?"

"Yeah…" Misato replied softly. She often wondered how Asuka could keep calling Shinji an idiot. Sure, he was a very inhibited person but that hardly made him stupid. His decision to engage the 4th Angel hand to hand may have been foolhardy, but (though Misato had never admitted it) it showed at least some degree of tactical awareness, and from the footage she had looked at after the battle the angel looked VERY vulnerable to a well-placed knife-strike.

And Shinji had discovered this in the heat of battle, proving that he at least had SOME wits about him.

"Well you did have good intentions," Ritsuko said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen.

"Yeah…" Misato sighed, "but what good are intentions if you end up creating a worse situation by following them? I could have refused and told them to have her live with someone else."

"Yeah which wouldn't have made much fuss," Ritsuko shrugged, "I for one was very sceptical that having them together would maintain any kind of teamwork developed during the battle with the seventh angel. In fact, I thi-"

"You know what?" Misato cut in, "I think that's just about all the honesty I can take right now."

Ritsuko's cheeks coloured. "Right… sorry…"

Silence fell once more as they completed their journey.

**

The duo stopped when they arrived at the lighthouse, finding it quite cramped as they made their way up the stairs. "Hey," Misato said suddenly, running her hand over one of the walls, "look at this."

Ritsuko frowned, pausing to scrutinize the odd characters etched painstakingly into the wall. "Not good," she muttered under her breath, "let's hurry, I don't like the look of those at ALL."

They hurried the rest of the way to rooftop, their breathing becoming increasingly raged as the symbols began glowing all around them, barely glowing at first but soon burning with a blinding incandescence, encouraging them to make their feet move even faster. Throwing open the door to the roof, Misato felt her breath leave her.

The top of the lighthouse was covered in a huge, burning pentagram, it's lines clearly visible in the darkening night. Hot, Misato thought faintly, LORD it's hot!!

"LOOK!!"

Ritsuko grabbed her upper arm, jabbing her finger at an indistinct, dark-haired form on the far side of the roof.

"Shinji?!"

The figure lifted its head, but the distance and light between them were too great for Misato to pick out any distinguishing characteristics. Then, without a sound, both the boy and the shape vanished, leaving only vauge after images burning in the women's retinas to indicate that it was not just a hallucination.

After a quick, confused search of the empty rooftop, Misato and Ritsuko found themselves back at the doorway to the stairs. "He couldn't be…" Misato trailed off, shaking her head.

No! she told herself firmly, He is NOT dead, that was NOT a ghost!! There is no way one of those THINGS got him – not Shinji! He's hiding somewhere, waiting for me, I know he is, damn it!!

"I think this left us with more questions than answers…" Ritsuko muttered darkly, wandering over to the edge and folding her arms. "I think our friend Alicia has some-"

Her sentence went unfinished as, on the street below, a late-model Lincoln Towncar came screaming out of the darkness, swerving drunkenly out of control before smashing into a streetlight. "What the!?" Ritsuko waved Misato over, hoping the other woman could see something in the darkness below, but neither could make anything out from where they were.

"We should check it out," Misato said quickly, hurrying towards the stairs and rushing down as fast as she could.

Ritsuko followed right behind, but as they reached the bottom, her shoe snagged on the last step, sending her face-first into the floor and narrowly missing Misato.

"Whoa," Misato panted, winded from her downstairs run, "watch that last step, it's a do-"

Ritsuko cried out as the floor under her abruptly fell away, revealing a small, unobtrusive trapdoor. The trapdoor snapped shut before Misato could even blink, leaving a heavy layer of oak between the two women.

"Son of a bitch!" Misato whispered, dropping to one knee and grasping the trapdoor's heavy iron ring, but no matter how she pulled, tugged, and anchored her feet, she could not make the door budge. "Ritsuko! Ritsuko!" she yelled, banging on the door with the flat of her hand. "Ritsuko, can you hear me!?"

"Yes," came the muffled reply, "I can't get it open from this side! Can you?"

"No! It won't budge!"

"Damn it!" Ritsuko's voice was decidedly distressed, "Well, try again! I… I don't like the dark!"

Misato nodded absently, pondering her options. I can't just leave her here, she thought grimly, But this thing won't move an inch!!

With a sigh, she realized that did not have much choice in the matter. "Hold on!" she called, trying to sound encouraging, "I'll try to get something to pry it open! Just hang in there, okay?"

"A-Alright!" Ritsuko called reluctantly, "Try not to be too long, ok?"

Misato rushed outside, hesitated, then hurried towards the car, now clearly visible in the gloom. Tire-iron, she thought reasonable, keeping her shotgun at the ready as she approached the car, that should do it.

The passenger door was open, Misato noted, but since the car was on asphalt, she could not see any footprints leading away from the car. The driver, a mid-sized Asian man, was clearly dead, his head smashed against the steering wheel, with blood and grey brain-matter gracing the shoulders of his black pantsuit.

Swallowing with distaste, Misato reached into the man's jacket pocket and pulled out a simple ID card, a chill washing over her as she read, "Satoru Nakamura, Agent classification/clearance 6/Epsilon — Section Two, NERV."

Misato frowned, tossing the card on the man's lap. This had to have been Commander Ikari's car! she thought grimly. This must have been one of his bodyguards. Cautiously, she took a look in the backseat, gasping as she found a small set of restraints. I knew it, she thought with some frustration, he had the 'alternate' right here – I missed him by minutes, maybe seconds! DAMN!!

Abruptly, she shook her head. "This isn't getting Ritsuko out of the basement," she muttered, scanning the nearby houses, "there – that one's open. Let's see what we can find."

**

Ritsuko paced around the cellar of the lighthouse like a caged tiger, muttering to herself and repeatedly checking her shotgun. "Place is the size of a one-bedroom," she whispered to herself, "but you can't be too care-"

"Hello Ritsuko…"

Shivers fell down Ritsuko's spine as she panned her flashlight in the direction of the all-too-familiar voice, the colour draining from her face as she spotted, "K-Kaji…!"

"Been a while Ritsuko…" the man said amicably as he approached, covering the space between them at a languid, unhurried pace. He was clad in only a white hospital gown – but the front of the gown was so stained and spattered with blood that red appeared its natural colour.

His eyes, Ritsuko noticed, had gone dead white… the shade of a corpse.

"You're…you're dead!" she gasped, taking a fumbling step backwards as Kaji continued towards her.

"You were supposed to meet me…" Kaji said, a vacant smile lighting his features as he took another step. "I waited there for you forever, Rits…"

"I…I was delayed," Ritsuko babbled, taking another step back and finding her back against the lighthouse's stone wall, "P1ease – it wasn't my fault! When I got there, you were gone!"

"You have any idea what they did to me?" Kaji asked, tilting his head to the side as his smile fell away. "Do you?"

Ritsuko could only nod, too dazed to speak.

"They fucking strapped to that bed," Kaji whispered, his voice taking on a sharp edge as his face contorted into a mask of fury, "Strapped me to that bed, injected me with that shit, and gave me orders like I was a fucking DOG!! You can't IMAGINE what it was like! I was nothing – LESS than nothing, do you understand?!?"

"I'm sorry…"

"You're sorry!?" Kaji roared, "They made me LICK their fucking HANDS and you're SORRY?? You were supposed to help me, you bitch!! You said you would be there, and we'd find the truth together, you, me, and Misato, just like the old days!! And you let me down!" Abruptly he was standing next to her, his voice dropping so low that Ritsuko could hardly hear it over her jack-hammering heart. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, should I? You let everyone down, sooner or later. Don't you, Rits?"

"N-no!!"

Ritsuko clenched her eyes closed, wishing that her body would obey her repeated order to move – to just get away from this man's horrible wrath. I do! she thought miserably, I let everyone down! God, Shinji, Misato, even Gendou – I let them all down! I should have been with Shinji to protect him! I should have told Misato the truth! I should have been a better lover – oh God, I'm worthless! I deserve to die!!

After several minutes of cruel quiet, Ritsuko opened her eyes. "K-Kaji?"

The cellar was empty. Not so much as a single spot of blood indicated that there had ever been anyone there besides her.

Wiping bitterly at her eyes, Ritsuko glared at where the vision of Kaji had been. How many people had cared about her, and how often did she dismiss them? She knew that Shinji cared about her – even after she was willing to have killed him in the fight with the 12th Angel – though why he had chosen to forgive her, she would never know. Standing in the dark, she wondered how many others actually cared if she lived or died. Maya definitely cared about her – even going so far as to help her escape her cell, but Ritsuko had not had a chance to thank her, as the woman had vanished practically the same day. Kaji had cared – even in the face of that phantasm she realised that – and Misato, despite their differences, was still a friend.

Yet at every turn she had chosen Gendou. All this time she blamed Rei for her mother's death – and her estrangement from Gendou – but after she and Shinji had escaped Japan, Ritsuko wondered if she had, in fact, been wrong to blame Rei for her mother's death after all. Hadn't she chosen her own path? How long could she blame others for everything wrong with her own life?

"Can people change, mother?" Ritsuko asked the empty room, taking a shuddering breath as she sank to the cold ground. "I'm doing my best, aren't I? If I can save him – if I can make up for all the wrong I've done HIM – then…"

Then what? her mind taunted her, Join mother? I think... I think, depending on whether Shinji forgives me for leaving him alone in his Hell... that I might just do that.

Ritsuko blinked, drawn from her dark ruminations by the sudden observation that there was light streaming down from the now-open trapdoor.

"Misato?" she called cautiously.

When there was no reply, Ritsuko got carefully to her feet, clambering quickly out of the cellar and out of the lighthouse before whatever providence had freed her decided that it might change its mind.

She can't be that far away, she thought hopefully, God, I hope she's not – I can't stand being alone anymore…

With this final thought in mind, Ritsuko set off to find her wayward companion.

**

A cursory search of the small house yielded a crowbar, a hunting rifle, and several boxes of ammunition, several of which Misato distributed around her person. Not TOO much, she told herself firmly, yeah, it would be NICE to have a hundred rifle shells, but with all the other shit I'm carrying, how would I walk?

She hefted the weapon, satisfied with its weight, and hurried out the front door, the crowbar clutched firmly in her other hand. "I'll have you out of there in a few seconds with this," she muttered under her breath, "and then? Well, I don't know – this was our best shot, so next we'll just start in one corner of the town and go from place to place, shouting our heads off and killing anything that gets in our way. Hey, a plan is-" she cut herself off, taking a deep breath. "I'm talking to myself again…"

Aside of her newly developed habit of self-communication, Misato had a nasty surprise waiting for her upon her return to the lighthouse.

Gone?? she thought, entirely confused, where the hell could she have gone? Did someone else open the door for her?

Misato crouched by the open trapdoor, shining her flashlight down into the darkness. "Well, it must have been a friend," she whispered, "no blood. Maybe Amber? Or Alicia? No, I doubt she'd actually DO something to help. Sure, she'll give us information from time to time, but-"

Silence fell quickly as Misato bit her tongue. Stop TALKING to yourself!!

Giving the lighthouse a quick, cursory search, Misato found no sign of the other woman. On her way out, however, she found a small, red envelope with the letters K.M. written on the front. She tore it open, shaking out not a note, but a 3"X5" glossy depicting a small, dark-haired figure standing in front of a fairly large house.

What, no directions? she thought sarcastically, turning the photo over and finding the back blank, How am I supposed to know where this is??

"What a second…"

Misato frowned, holding the picture closer to the light and squinting as she spotted a small, half-hidden sign in the upper right corner. Lakeside Amu

Bringing her map out, she nodded. "Ok," she murmured, quickly finding Lakeside Amusement Park on the map and laying her finger on it, "so if I can find this sign, I should be able to find the house by just looking at it from the same angle and backing up." She grinned, slipping the map back into her pocket. "Of course, the odds that I'm going to leave my back exposed in a place like th-"

She clapped her hands over her ears, wincing as that voiceless scream ripped through her mind, leaving her breathless. The stench of death and decay filled her nostrils, as she cautiously opened her eyes, bracing the hunting rifle in the crook of her arm and looking around with quick, jerky movements.

"Not good," she whispered, feeling sweat break out on her forehead, "not good!!"

The land all around the lighthouse was gone, leaving the building tethered in the middle of open, black space by four corded ropes of chain, each as thick as a compact car. That feeling of isolation – of all-encompassing ALONENESS – hammered into Misato's gut once more, wringing a miserable moan from her and leaving her weak in the knees.

"Hate this place," she whispered unconsciously, her voice choked and desperate, "I hate it, I hate it, I hate-"

She cut herself off, doing an abrupt about-face and dashing back through the lighthouse door. It was easier, here – it was much easier to bear the emptiness if it was held at bay by the solid, dank stone walls.

Up, Misato thought tiredly, nowhere to go but up – literally.

She made her way slowly up the stairs, feeling more sweat break out on her face and hands as a harsh caw echoed from somewhere above her. "And of course there's something horrible waiting for me," she mused, keeping a steady pace towards the top, "why wouldn't there be?" She paused at the top stair, staring with dull eyes down at the hunting rifle. "Well, I guess I might as well see what it is. Can't be that bad, right?"

Wrong.

Misato had to bite back a cry of horror as she threw the door to the roof open and stepped out. It was not that the creature waiting for her, a gruesome fusion of bird, bat, and lizard – with long, featherless, dragon-esque wings and flesh the colour of rust – was so terrible to the eye that it instilled instant fear, no, Misato's instinctual desire to scream was prompted by the thing's half-human, half-avian face.

And it's too-familiar eyes.

"Sa…"

Misato felt ice fill her stomach as the thing opened its beak, flapping its wings lazily as it tossed its head from side to side.

"Sa, sa,"

For one terrifying second, Misato seriously considered turning the rifle on herself, biting down on the barrel, and pulling the trigger as many times as she could to ensure that she was good and dead.

"No," she tried to sound firm, shaking her head vigorously as the creature bobbed up and down like a huge, deformed parakeet, "No, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!"

"Sa!" the creature cried, spreading its wings to their full extension, preparing to take flight, "Sa… to…"

Misato screamed, whipping the rifle up as something deep in her mind finally gave way. Her vision was instantly filled with red-tinged fog, the mingled rage and terror storming through her psyche overwhelming her self-control as her finger somehow found the trigger.

"Daddy," a small, childish voice echoed in her ears, the blast of the rifle sounding weak and far off, "I, umm… I talked to mom. She… she said I could go with you – on your trip, I mean, not to live. Do you… still want me too…?"

No, Misato's mind protested, I don't want to remember that!!

But the memory swept on, unabated. "Mmmm, sure you can," her father's voice returned, half sad, half hopeful, "do you… still want to go?

DON'T MAKE ME REMEMBER!!!

"Uh-huh. I – mommy said we should try and be friends – even if you guys can't."

No!!

"Heh, she always was smarter."

Please!

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"N-nothing…"

"God, make it STOP!!"

The world slammed back into focus as Misato's senses returned.

"G-god…"

The barrel of the rifle jumped and shook, lurching all over the place as she tried to steady it, but she need not have bothered – the creature lying sprawled on the rooftop offered no threat, its beak opening and closing senselessly as it feebly tried to flap its broken right wing. Of the left wing, Misato could see no sign – at that remained was a bloody stump, oozing listlessly over the thing's misshapen shoulder.

"Sa…" the thing squawked, trying to rise to its stubby feet, "Sa… to… SATO!!"

Misato drew the bolt on the rifle back, chambering another shell. She tried to say something – anything to deny the recognition that filled her as she looked at the thing's eyes – but her voice would not comply. How many times did I shoot him? she thought, pretending that she could not feel the dampness on her cheeks, IT, damn it – not he, IT!!

"SATO!!"

Misato took aim as the thing managed to find its footing, taking a lumbering step towards her, its sad, human eyes rolling with pain and madness.

"SAAATOO!!!"

With a firm image of her father in her mind, Misato whispered, "Forgive me," and pulled the trigger.

TBC


	9. The Things You Prize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes we have to learn what we truly value

Chapter 8 – The Things you Prize

The real world returned in a rush, but Misato kept her eyes open, staring at the space the bird-like creature occupied as if it held the answers to every question she had ever asked. The voice had been unmistakable. The eyes – unforgettable. She had just killed her father's memory, in a very literal sense, and now there was nothing – not so much as a spot of blood marked the top of the lighthouse where the thing had fallen.

What kind of power is really behind all this? she wondered grimly, checking the rifle's small cartridge and finding it completely empty. I see my father... and I have to kill him. I see Shinji everywhere I go... but I can't protect him – God, this is just like fighting angels. I was always 'there' with him, but I could never DO anything for him.

In the face of this nightmare, her personal vendetta against the angels seemed so very, very petty. Yes, she was fighting for the survival of the human race... but if she could not even manage to protect the people she cared for, what was it all for? Shinji... Asuka... Ritsuko... Kaji... even Makoto, with his ill-concealed crush and secretly courageous heart – if she sacrificed all of them to destroy the angels, who would she go home to?

When did the fight against the angels become more important than the ones she was fighting them for?

"Would any of them throw me away like I threw them away?" Misato whispered, mechanically reloading the rifle's cartridge. "Do any of them really care for me at all?"

This, she knew, was an unfair question. Shinji definitely cared about her, even though he had a hell of time showing it. It was just the way he was raised. He was held back by his inhibitions and the ever-constant nemesis of his own low self-esteem – two foes that could not be defeated by something as simple as a few grams of lead and a tablespoon of cordite. She also knew Asuka cared about her – in her own unique way. The redhead simply was not capable of showing it, for many of the same reasons Shinji was not, for while her defence mechanisms were not the same, her issues were very similar to the Third's.

Makoto, of course, cared about her. How often had the man gone out of his way to do things for her – even endangering his own job, and sometimes life, to get answers and information Misato herself had no access to?

And despite all of their differences, Ritsuko was still a friend... even if she was sometimes the harshest, most unforgiving critic in the world.

"So yeah," Misato whispered, shaking herself from her daze, "I've got friends... I just need to make sure they know I care too."

Oh man, she thought sadly, when did it become so important? When did friendship start to mean less than revenge?

Unbidden, Amber's words suddenly rang out in her mind. "Misato, I...I think that boy Kaworu made the same choice your father made. I don't mean to sound like I know everything, but to me it seems like he wanted Shinji to live as much as your dad wanted you to. I may not know your dad, and... and I might have just met you, but I think he would have wanted you to move on and be happy, you know?"

Misato wondered how much she degraded her father's sacrifice with her words to Shinji following Kaworu's death.

If Shinji had let him live, he'd have been destroyed by someone else anyway, she reasoned, walking slowly towards the lighthouse stairs, or would he have been shoved in some laboratory for the rest of his life? Was there some reason he couldn't kill himself? Damn it, why did he make SHINJI do it??

Misato had to admit there was still a lot she did not understand about the Angels.

How could he have broken down his walls when I wouldn't do the same for him? she thought, again wondering what she really felt for Shinji. Was she really just his guardian? Or was there something... more between them? I often told him he was part of my job...Misato found herself thinking back to the sixteenth angel, wondering again why he had shied away from her touch. I wonder if he ever got so much as a hug, or even had his hand held? The Commander sure doesn't strike me as the hugging type, that's for sure.

Misato sighed as she made her way down and exited the lighthouse. I know Shinji's in this town somewhere... she thought, putting all other considerations aside, and I know that he needs me...

Shouldering rifle, she cradled the shotgun in her hands and pumped a shell into the breech, a look of grim determination replacing the confusion and sorrow on her face.

...and this time, I WILL be there!

**

After several minutes of confused, fog-bound wandering, Misato finally found the Amusement Park, shaking her head in nostalgic memory as she found it just the same as every amusement park she had ever been to in her life... but as she went through the gate, she was forced to clap her hands over her ears as she heard that same voiceless scream, and once again the stench of decay filled her nostrils. When she opened her eyes, she found that the ground under her feet had turned to rusted, aged metal, and the once vibrant looking rides were decayed and rotted – turning the once happy park into a dismal playground of dementia.

So soon, she thought, wetting her lips as she ducked into the concession stand to avoid a pair of the winged monsters, it's taking less and less time between 'jumps.' Something's happening – and it ISN'T good...

Making her way cautiously around the perimeter of the park, Misato spied movement near the souvenir shop – but as it was taking great pains not to draw attention, she realised it was not a monster. She pushed the door open carefully, jumping slightly at the shadow cast by a portable oxygen tank sitting on the arm of an abandoned wheelchair outside, and found a small figure crouching behind a pile of plush animals, her eyes scanning the terrain on the far side of the park as if searching for something.

"Amber...??"

The girl bit her lip, stifling a surprised scream. "Misato!" she cried, "Oh, I didn't think-"

"Are you alright?" Misato cut in, hurrying to the girl's side and checking her for any obvious signs of harm, "I told you not to leave that office!"

"I know, I know!!" Amber said quickly, wringing her hands together in agitation, "but I heard something on the other side of the door so I hid under the desk. I thought it might be another monster. I waited but... but you never came back, and..."

Ritsuko might not have spotted her, Misato thought, disgusted with herself for not insisting that they double check. Damn it – I just walked away and left her!

"I'm sorry," she whispered, giving the girl's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Amber's eyes widened. "What happened?" she whispered, pointing at the bruises around Misato's neck.

Misato hesitated, the entries from Fletcher's journal flashing through her mind. I have to know, she thought firmly, and Fletcher sure isn't talking...

"Well," she said nonchalantly, "umm... do you know the Chief of Police?"

"You mean Aar-" the girl cut herself off in mid-sentence as she looked at the floor. "Er, Mister Fletcher... yeah, I know him..."

Misato chose her words carefully. "How... well do you know him, Amber?"

Amber's shoulders slumped. "Ummm... p-pretty well..."

Slowly, Misato slipped her hand into her pocket, wrapping it around the little flower ring. "How well?"

"He's a great guy," Amber said, her voice half pleading and half apologetic, "we just... we go hang out sometimes, that's all – really!"

"You DO know that he's married, right?" Misato asked gently, wishing she did not have to have this conversation.

Poor kid, she thought sadly, she's got it bad for this asshole – I can't just say, 'hey, he tried to kill me to make sure his little drug trade doesn't get hurt' now can I??

"Of course," Amber said sadly, "but Edi – I mean, Misses Fletcher – has some... problems, and she keeps shrieking at him for no reason, even though he never does anything wrong except try to be a good husband, and he's been so lonely since she took Charlie, and..." she trailed off, blushing brightly as she whispered, "it's like a movie, isn't it? I was... I was their babysitter, and... and one night, when he was driving me home, he just looked so sad, and I wanted him to be happy, so I k-kissed him, and it was just going to be once, but it was so nice, and he... he made me feel so good, and I-" she cut herself off, taking a shuddering breath. "God, please don't tell anyone, ok? He'd lose his job! I know I'm a bad person, but he's not – so please... don't tell, ok...?"

"I don't think you're a bad person," Misato said softly, pulling the girl into a gentle embrace, "I just-"

She cut herself off. What did she think? Certainly, this was not the first time she'd heard of an older man and a younger woman, but with all she knew about Fletcher, it was becoming clearer and clearer to her that she had to get Amber out of this town – before something bad happened to her.

"You're going to say something about his age aren't you?" Amber said softly, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"Well," Misato admitted, thinking that this was not a very big leap in logic, "he is a lot older..."

"But he makes me happy," Amber said desperately, clutching Misato's hand in hers and looking up into her eyes, "that's not wrong, is it...? So what if it's a few years, he's all I care about, so it's ok, right?"

Misato gave her a reluctant nod, her mind filling with an unexpected, extremely vivid image of Shinji having the same conversation with Kaji about her. But we're not like that, she told herself, giving the girl a moment to compose herself, I mean... well, I never really gave it a lot of thought, I guess, I just-

"Age shouldn't matter," Amber said quietly, pulling the older woman from her thoughts, "it's just a stupid number..."

"You're right," Misato said, frowning as she glanced over the girl's shoulder.

Thought I saw something...

"Amber," she said slowly, trying to think of the police chief in a favourable light, "age doesn't really matter at all... just make sure you know that the person you're with is who he seems to be..."

There, Misato thought, feeling drained as the girl smiled at her, that's as close as I can come to the truth. She'd never believe me if I told her what Fletcher was REALLY like, and well, since I filled him full of buckshot, and I'm taking Amber with me when I leave town, it doesn't really matter, now does it?

A light went off inside Misato's head as she remembered that Amber was a native of this place. "Hey," she said, forgetting the ring entirely and pulling out the small photo instead, "you don't know where this place is, do you?"

Amber looked at the photo. "Hey, yeah, I do!" she said brightly, seemingly glad to have another topic to discuss. "This is a little way from the lake, about a half mile southeast of here. I passed it when I was hiking with my dad last summer." She studied the picture closely, "Do you think this might be Shinji?"

Misato nodded. "Hai."

"Well," Amber said slowly, "it's in the woods, and it's kind of dark... but I'll try to help you find it."

"I knew you would," Misato said warmly, patting the girl on the shoulder.

Amber nodded, practically beaming.

What a sweet girl, Misato thought honestly, starting for the door with Amber in tow, makes me sick to think of what that freak 'taught' her. If I find out that he tried any of those Sakura drugs on her to make her 'obedient,' I'll find his fucking body and cut it apart – fucking bastard... I-

Her thought train was rudely derailed as the front door to the souvenir shop exploded in, showering her with chunks of wood.

"Amber – get behind me!" Misato screamed, bringing her shotgun around to bear as something dark and shambling hunched its way through the remains of the door.

As the girl dove behind the shop counter, Misato assessed the creature, searching for a weakness. It was roughly nine feet tall, with a mass of short, squid-like tentacles where its mouth should have been. Instead of arms, the thing lumbered forward on two, powerful goat's legs capped with three digit, rough hewn rock claws.

Its eyes, thankfully, were not familiar.

"Stay down!" Misato cried, taking a quick step back and levelling the shotgun as the thing tossed its head, revealing the undersides of the tentacles on its face.

Leeches, Misato thought with disgust, their leeches – I hate leeches!!

The creature suddenly threw its head back and roared, trying to charge the woman – but the shop was too cramped, forcing it to stop after two short steps, its mass hindered by the narrow shelves and aisles of wood.

"Ha!" Misato cried, "Diet time, bitch!"

Don't get cocky, her mind warned as she fired a burst, it's not the only one trapped in here, you know!

Misato's eyes flicked to the back of the shop. "Amber! Stay DOWN, ok!?"

Any reply was lost as the shotgun roared again, peppering the creature's hide with tiny black holes. Then, to Misato's horror, the creature charged again... directly towards the counter at the back of the shop.

"NO!!"

Firing off three quick bursts, Misato back peddled towards the ruined front door.

"No!" she shouted, "Over here – here!! Come on, you ugly fucker – come GET ME!!"

The creature screeched in pain and anger as small trickles of blood appeared on its back, and it whirled, lashing out at its attacker. Misato felt the air in front of her move as the thing's massive claw hurled through the space she had occupied five seconds prior.

"That's right," she growled, pumping another shell into the shotgun and pulling the trigger, "I'm the one you're after, so come get it!" She raised her voice as the thing narrowed its eyes, knocking shelves and knickknacks aside as it advanced on her. "Amber! Get out! Go through the back and wait for me, ok? Wait for me!!"

The beast screeched again as Misato fired off another shell, and as she reached the door, it charged again, knocking through the doorframe as the woman dashed for the merry-go-round.

No time to reload, Misato thought, dropping the shotgun on the merry-go- round's floor and un-slinging the rifle, this thing holds five rounds, right...?

The beast rounded on her as she raised the rifle and clicked off a shot, the bullet passing over its left shoulder as it sprang nimbly to the side.

"Fast!" Misato gasped, drawing the bolt back and taking aim once more. "Didn't know it was so fast!!"

Another round confirmed this as the ground in front of the creature kicked up a small wisp of dirt, the bullet Misato had fired digging into the ground as the monster came to an abrupt, total stop.

Fuck!!

A soft chuffing sound filled the air as the creature began moving again, marching slowly back and forth in front of the merry-go-round – daring the woman to take another shot.

"Oh you think that's funny?" Misato whispered, drawing the bolt a third time. "Laugh this up, asshole."

The creature sprang to the side as Misato fired again... but as it was not the target, this was just fine by her. The rifle shell punched easily through the small, abandoned oxygen tank, the spark from its passing setting off the gas and creating a small, practically harmless ball of fire.

But again, the results themselves were not what Misato was after.

"...gotcha."

As the creature whirled around, surprised by the small explosion, Misato yanked the bolt on the rifle back and brought it back around, squeezing the trigger one more time as the creature realised its mistake and jerked to the left – half a second too slowly to prevent the bullet from passing through the side of its head.

Misato was already moving as the world filled with screaming light, grabbing the shotgun off the ground and jumping down from the merry-go- round. She dashed towards the souvenir shop, her eyes searching for the young American girl with frantic intensity.

"Amber, it's ok now!" she cried, frowning as she found the back door locked. "Amber? Are you in there? Amber??"

Slinging the rifle back onto her shoulder, Misato tore her pistol free of its holster. What if there were two? she thought, sprinting back around to the front of the shop and bolting through the door, God, I left her to die!

But the shop was empty.

Very slowly, Misato holstered her weapon, keeping one hand on it as she walked around the immaculately kept shop. There was not a mark on the wall... no holes marred the floor where the beast's heavy tread had shattered the wood... there was not so much as a stuffed animal out of place – nothing to indicate that anything had ever happened here.

"What... the... hell...?"

Forget it, the darkest part of Misato's mind whispered, she's not here – get moving. She'll turn up again... or maybe she won't – you can't worry about that anymore, only Shinji matters, do you understand? Only... Shinji...

"Only Shinji," she said softly, taking the rifle and shotgun off her shoulder and reloading both as she took a final look around the shop, "Only Shinji."

Shouldering her weapons, Misato pulled out the photo. Southeast, she thought grimly, Amber... I know it's a longshot – but PLEASE be heading there, ok? I... I have to find Shinji, but please let me find you one more time, ok?

With one last prayer, Misato headed towards the house.

TBC


	10. 1st Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fletcher survives and thinks on his life while Gendo encounters Alicia

Interlude

Aaron Fletcher groaned, rolling onto his side and clutching his chest as he coughed and blinked away tears of pain, carefully examining the damage that the Katsuragi bitch had inflicted on him. He had to admit that she had caught him with his pants down… but the joke was on her, since the two Kevlar vests he had been wearing had absorbed the brunt of the shot.

It still hurt like a son of a bitch, though.

"Fucking women," he gasped, probing the damaged skin under the vest with great care, "they're all the same…"

Satisfied that he had only sustained some heavy bruises – and possible a fractured rib, he could not quite be sure – the chief of police made his way to his feet, glancing up at the window he had been blasted through with a narrow, vengeful expression.

You'll get yours, he thought grimly, moving laboriously away from the hotel, next time we meet, you slant-eyed slut, your ass is MINE!

He thought back over everything that had led him to this point, wondering what he had ever done wrong to deserve such a screwed up life. "If it's not the wife, it's some fucking foreigner," he grumbled, wincing slightly as he ducked into a parked car, closing the door as one of the horn-billed creatures slouched past, "women suck."

Since Charlie was born, Aaron and Edith had gone through some very tough times. She had struggled with postpartum depression, but as Charlie got older she seemed to develop some other kind of disorder, getting worse rather than better, no matter what medication the doctors prescribed.

"You scream at Charlie for being lazy, but what about you?" he muttered, reclining for a moment on the car's front seat, "You don't do jackshit around the house, and you're always breaking things and blaming it on the fucking dog! And I'm the only one who really takes care of things! …fucking bitch."

Fletcher sighed. He really missed Charlie – a lot. He was a good boy and had a great sense of humour for his age, but for the life of him, his father could never figure out what he had ever done wrong to incur his mother's wrath. All he wanted was to make his family work, and he never understood how Edith could have changed…he had never mistreated her, never hit her or Charlie, and though he sometimes had trouble controlling his temper, he always took care of them like they were gold and he ran Fort Knox.

"I even bent some rules to get some money to help you – and look what it got me…" he said with a bitter laugh. He couldn't give a shit about Ikari or his project as long as he got the money – the ends DID justify the means, as far as he was concerned. So what if a few people got hurt – big deal! All he cared about was having his family whole once more. "And Dorothy," he lamented, "you never knew what was fucking going on! Well I hope you're enjoying your little taste of Hell with your lovely daughter. Reap what you sow, baby… reap what you sow."

It had been a dark, dark day when Fletcher was forced to acknowledge that there was nothing he could do for Edith.

"They're all the same," he sighed, deciding it was easier to lay the blame at the feet of all womankind, "I give and I give, and then I give some more! And it's never e-fucking-nough!"

Safe within the confines of the abandoned car Fletcher roared, taking his anger out on the dashboard and passenger seat, tearing and smashing them until his meaty hands ached. He hated them – hated them all! His wife, Katsuragi, Akagi, Amber – every last one of them was out to get him!

His anger finally spent, Fletcher sat panting and red-faced in the driver's seat, trying to collect himself. After a few minutes of thought, he peeled off the ruined Kevlar and threw it on the seat next to him, climbing out of the car and reaching around to the holster concealed on his back.

"Guess what, ladies?" he whispered, pulling his Colt Python out and checking the cylinder, "Aaron's done playing."

Satisfied that he was loaded for bear, he headed off down the foggy streets with only one thing on his mind: payback.

**

Gendou Ikari walked calmly through the streets of Silent Hill, his old-fashioned German Lugar hanging easily at his side. He wore a rueful expression, barely resisting the urge to rub his aching jaw. Katsuragi… he had not expected her to be so fast.

"Impressive, Major," he murmured, turning down Bachman Road and continuing on towards his destination, "I would congratulate you on your strength if I wasn't planning on eliminating you when next we meet."

It was truly unfortunate that the woman had to die, for she WAS an excellent director of operations… but she knew far too much to be allowed to go free. Gendou was already lamenting the fact that he had not shot her on sight.

"I must be getting sloppy."

"Indeed."

Gendou's pistol came up in an instant, nearly pulling the trigger without a second thought as he found a young woman gazing at him from a nearby bench. She was clearly American, appearing to be in her late twenties or so, with long dark hair, a clear complexion, and a long evening dress.

"Hello Gendou Rokubungi," the woman greeted him, pausing for a moment before smiling faintly and correcting, "Oh I'm sorry… it's Ikari now, right?"

"Who are you?" Gendou demanded flatly, keeping his gun pointed at her.

"I'm Alicia," the woman replied, rising from the bench and approaching Gendou without so much as a hint of concern on her lovely face. "How long has it been?"

"What?" Gendou asked

"Since you abandoned your son," the woman said serenely. "Has it really been 10 years since Yui died?"

"What do you know about that?" Gendou asked, his tone brittle, "I didn't have -"

"Lame excuses are truly an art form for you, aren't they Gendou?" Alicia cut in quietly. "You conveniently found time to raise Miss Ayanami… yet when it came to your own son, there was always some reason why you could be bothered, wasn't there? All he ever wanted was for you to acknowledge him, and you never even graced him with so much as a phone call." Alicia shook her head sadly. "You always ignored him. You were his father – the one person left on this Earth who was supposed to care for him, yet you never even gave him the simple things a father should have given his own son. You can give smiles and say meaningful things to Rei… but for Shinji, you only have time for commands and orders."

"I…don't have…time…to be…coddling…that mewling brat," Gendou bit out, his mind attacking every possible explanation for HOW this woman knew what she knew… but repeatedly coming up blank.

"You just don't get it do you?" Alicia sighed. "There is a fine line between coddling and giving at least a little love and support. The fact of the matter is that you DID have time for Shinji… but you never gave it – you just hid behind your job."

Normally Gendou would change the subject… but to his chagrin, he found that he had nothing to fall back on in the face of this odd woman's verbal onslaught.

"You were never even a good commander to begin with," Alicia continued, her voice taking on a matter-of-fact tone. "You ran NERV in a dictatorial manner and you never hesitated to meddle in your own subordinates affairs – no matter the department – getting involved to the point of hobbling them and preventing them from doing their jobs to the best of their abilities for fear of making a mistake in your presence. To you, everyone is replaceable…" she shook her head once more, "you couldn't be more wrong, Mister ikari. Were you able to replace Dr. Akagi after she tried to take her revenge for using her in the way you did? And don't you think that how you handled the 13th Angel is another example of your mediocre abilities as a commander?"

"The pilot's life is irrelevant," Gendou said levelly, refusing to be browbeaten by a WOMAN, of all people, "the angels' defeat goes above all else – even superseding Pilot safety and the safety of civilians. Survival of the species takes precedence over one individual's wellbeing."

Alicia narrowed her eyes. "When the foundation is neglected the house eventually collapses," she said coolly. "You claim you're defending humanity? That has to be one of the sickest jokes I have ever heard. You even activated an unstable system that your own head of Project E had not certified to operate, resulting in the loss of one of the keystones of your supposed 'great plan' for human survival."

"It was-"

"Didn't you know there were other ways? Or couldn't you be bothered to use them?"

Gendou smirked. "What other ways would you recommend?" he asked dryly.

Alicia returned the smirk. "Oh let me think… you could have reminded Shinji of what was at stake and reminded him that while the pilots feel pain, it doesn't actually HARM them. You could have given at least a word of encouragement, and let him know you trusted in his ability to safely retrieve the entry plug without harming the pilot. But throughout the debacle you never encouraged any kind of teamwork between the pilots – you simply scattered them to wind and hoped for the best. And when Shinji refused to hurt another person, all you said was 'destroy it or it will destroy you.' A pathetic command if I do say so myself…"

Though Gendou's face was calm and collected, inside he was seething. Who was this woman to tell HIM what was best for the world – for his SON! He had read the scrolls, he knew the scenarios, and he would continue doing what was best until he could stand at Yui's side once more.

Alicia continued. "As a result of your incompetence the pilot of Unit 03 was maimed, and Shinji…well, you can't tell me you were really SURPRISED that he threatened to tear the base apart. What did you think would happen if you kept treating people the way you do?" Abruptly, she gave a small laugh. "Well don't be surprised when the dog bites back at the master who constantly kicks him – because that's all he, Rei and everyone else are you… just lowly dogs to be abused. Even in the face of the 15th Angel we see yet another example of your 'good leadership.' Instead of sending Shinji out to help the Second Child you kept him back for fear of harming your precious Unit 01 – and by the time Rei got the Lance of Longinus it was too late…" her voice grew very cold. "And as a result , Asuka was no longer able to pilot. These, my friend, are the results of your incompetence, your bad judgement, and your cowardice."

Abruptly, ignoring Gendou's clenched jaw and flashing eyes, Alicia added, "Have you ever wondered what Yui would think of all this? You do all this in her name, and yet you've desecrated everything she ever stood for. You never even bothered to take care of your son…the son she gave her very life to protect. So tell me, Mister Ikari… do you think Yui is going to welcome you with open arms when you meet her in the ne-"

"Shut up!!" Gendou roared, finally reaching the limits of his patience. He thrust his arm forward and pulled the trigger on his gun, anticipating the obliteration of the woman's calm, smug face…

…but found his hand was facing upwards, Alicia's hand gripping it so firmly that Gendou winced in pain, a slight trickle of fear running through him as he realised that her strength far outweighed his own.

"Who… are you…?" he gasped, wincing again as the bones in his hand ground together.

"Listen well Mister Ikari," the woman said icily, the complete lack of emotion and soft menace in her voice silencing the NERV Commander immediately. "You may always have thought you were right and the things you did were necessary but let me tell you this – there are powers here that disagree with you… and all the sins you've committed in the name of turning humanity into something it was never meant to be WILL be addressed."

So saying, Alicia planted her hand on Gendou's chest, easily heaving the man off of his feet and sending him crashing to the ground several metres away.

By the time Gendou regained his breath and struggled to his feet, she was gone.

TBC


	11. Gathering Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato encounters another familiar face but can she save her or be forced to kill her?

Chapter 9 – Gathering Shadows

With great reluctance, Misato entered the woods, very much wishing that her flashlight beam was just THAT much brighter. Wishes and fishes, she thought, swallowing as she glanced down at the narrow path cutting through the trees, but the house is in the woods, so I guess I'm going into the woods.

Within ten steps of the small forest's edge, Misato was entirely surrounded by an eerie silence – deeper even than the quiet that enfolded the town. No animals stirred in the underbrush, no insects chirped or clicked in the foliage, no breeze ruffled the trees. There was only deep, solemn stillness, broken only by the sound of Misato's own, hesitant footsteps.

At least I know nothing will sneak up on me, she thought, trying to be optimistic. Hopefully there aren't any of those… whatever they are hiding in the tre-

As if on cue, one of the beak-creatures exploded from a nearby tree stump, flying at the major's face with a raucous screech. Entirely off-guard, Misato let out a small cry, dropping onto her back and jamming her pistol forward and up, the barrel connecting with the creature's stomach even as she pulled the trigger. The gun's report was muffled by its victim's skin, but the effects were decidedly final. The creature's squawk was cut short as the bullet tore into it, and its forward motion carried it on past Misato, sending it into the dirt with a loud crash.

Silence returned.

"S-so much for that idea," Misato managed, scrambling to her feet and sweeping the forest with her pistol. Somehow, the darkness seemed even deeper than before, as if the beak-creature's appearance had somehow dimmed the flashlight's beam.

Shaking herself, Misato hurried down the path, keeping her gun at the ready. I'm almost there, Shinji, she thought grimly, just hang on!

Though the path was dark, and she jumped at every shadow, Misato encountered no more monsters on her way through the woods. After several minutes she found herself on the edge of a clearing with a small log cabin in the middle. "Hello?" she called hesitantly, spying a small figure sitting on a stump at the far side of the clearing. "Amber, is that you?"

The tan-clad figure rose slowly to its feet, its arms hanging loosely at its sides, and started walking slowly towards the major. Semi-auto, Misato thought, her eyes catching sight of the pistol in the other person's right hand, not a monster… but it's too short to be Ritsuko or the Commander… and too tall to be Amber, so who…

"Oh my god…"

Misato drew a sharp breath as her flashlight finally illuminated the familiar face of,

"Maya?"

The technician's expression was blank as she came to a halt fifteen feet away from Misato… and slowly raised her pistol. "H-hey… hey! Wait a minute-"

Misato's instincts kicked in and she dove behind a nearby tree as the other woman pulled the trigger, the bang of her pistol echoing through the dark woods.

"Are you CRAZY!?!" Misato cried, wincing as two more shots rang out and the tree she was leaning against thumped hollowly. "Alright, if that's the way it's gotta be!!"

So saying, she leaned around the tree, bringing her pistol up and levelling it at the brown-haired woman. She gritted her teeth, willing herself to pull the trigger as the woman's vacant brown eyes locked with hers. I can't do it! she thought, ducking back behind the tree as Maya fired once more, I just can't!! But if I don't… if I don't -- oh man what am I gonna do?

Misato bit her bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood. Could she really kill Maya – the sweet, innocent technician that had cried her eyes out at Kaworu's death and insisted that they give him a proper funeral, angel or not?

Could she?

"Maya," she called, peeking around the tree once more, "it's me – Misato! Don't you recognize me?"

The technician's aim wavered, and Misato thought there was the briefest flare of recognition in her eyes… but then the woman fired again, her aim going wide as she shrugged her shoulders and half-turned away.

What is that? Misato thought, squinting at a small lump on the other woman's neck.

"Maya!!"

Misato's gaze flew to the other side of the clearing as Maya turned and fired into the woods.

"Maya," Ritsuko's voice shouted out of the darkness, "put that gun down, Kohei – are you insane!?"

Maya's reply was a rapid succession of ten gunshots, all aimed in the direction of the blonde's voice.

Misato took the opportunity to study the abnormality at the base of the technician's skull. God, she thought desperately, running a hand through her long hair, what do I do – what do I do?? It looks like she's got something on her… could that be why she's acting so weird??

Maya shrugged again, shaking her head slowly from side to side as her free hand came up, almost touching the thing on her back before falling to her side.

"Misato!" Ritsuko called, "something's wrong with her – Maya HATES guns!"

"No kidding something's wrong with her!!" Misato shouted back, ducking back behind the tree as Maya turned to shoot at her once more, "what should I do about that, genius!?!"

"You're the tactician!!" Ritsuko screamed, "Figure something out!"

There was a moment of quiet as Maya shrugged once more. Misato took the opportunity to rifle through her pockets with her free hand. Cross, she thought, cross, cross, shotgun shell – damn it! This is all usele- She cut herself off as her hand wrapped around the small squeeze bottle. She pulled it out of her pocket as Maya opened fire again, aiming, it seemed, at her sempai. Well, Misato thought, here's hoping. Maybe it's knockout drops – wouldn't that just be conve-

"Now, Misato!" Ritsuko cried as a series of dry clicks echoed through the woods, "She's out!"

"Right!"

Jerking away from the tree, Misato ran towards the woman, spotting Ritsuko running at her from the far side of the clearing. "Get down," she warned, "she's reloading!!"

Ritsuko put on a burst of speed, crying out as the technician succeeded in getting a fresh clip into her gun and brought it back up to bear.

NO!!

Without a second thought, Misato whipped her arm back and threw the squeeze bottle as hard as she could, watching it spin end over end before crashing into the back of Maya's head, the thin plastic giving way under the force of the impact and showering the woman with the red liquid inside.

The effects… were impressive.

Maya's hand opened, dropping the pistol on the ground as a bloodcurdling scream tore free from her lips.

"What did you do to her!?" Ritsuko shouted, clapping her hands over her ears as her understudy fell to her knees, screaming in agony and clawing desperately at her back.

Misato could only shake her head, unable to speak as the younger woman began convulsing, weak, wet, bubbling screams pouring out of her mouth as she shuddered and collapsed on her side in the tall grass. Neither of the older women dared approach her as she jerked and groaned in the throws of the mysterious red liquid.

"GOD!!"

Misato nearly threw up as something small and worm-like detached itself from Maya's back, wriggling and squirming its way off of the woman's body and falling to the ground as the woman fell silent. With a disgusted cry, Ritsuko brought her heel down on the thing, stomping it ruthlessly into the ground until it finally stopped moving.

The woods were once again quiet as the two women stood panting and sweating at the technician's side.

Once she had regained her breath, Ritsuko knelt at the woman's side, rolling her gently onto her back. "Maya," she called, checking her understudy's pulse and breathing, finding them within satisfactory tolerances, "can you hear me?"

Maya's eye fluttered open. "S-Sempai?" she asked weakly, struggling to get to her feet.

"Shhh," Ritsuko said softly, putting a restraining hand on Maya's shoulder. "Misato, give me a hand."

Misato nodded, and between the two of them they managed to get Maya on her feet, draping her arms over their shoulders. Awkwardly, they led the woman to the log cabin and laid her down on a bunk in the sparse bedroom as Ritsuko checked the cabinets for anything they could use. Misato helped the still-dazed woman take off her shirt, sucking in a deep breath as she found an angry red wound on the back of her neck.

"Maya," Ritsuko said, pulling out a small first aid kit from one of the cabinets, "this will hurt a little alright?"

Maya nodded, then gritted her teeth and stifled a short cry as Ritsuko poured alcohol onto a cotton ball and dabbed it liberally onto the wound. "Are you alright?" Misato asked as the blonde applied a wide bandage to the younger woman's neck.

"I think so," Maya gasped, blinking away tears of pain and leaning thankfully against the cabin's wall.

Misato and Ritsuko exchanged a furtive glance. "I don't want to sound like I'm unhappy to see you," Ritsuko said slowly, "but… what are you doing here, Maya? I thought you were moving to Kobe."

Maya nodded, rising painfully to a sitting position and slipping her arms into her shirt. "I was," she said, sounding much more together as she started fastening her buttons, "but…"

Misato and Ritsuko sat in perfect silence as the young woman told her tale.

**

Maya Ibuki pushed her front door open with a sigh. "What a long day," she groaned, glancing around surreptitiously and relaxing slightly as she found her apartment empty. "But it looks like I did it."

She took a look out into the empty hallway of her building and shut the door, turning the deadbolt with another, deeper sigh and resting her head against the door as she envisioned the letter of resignation she had just turned in. The letter itself was not what had the woman so jumpy, though she did have doubts that she would be let go so easily, no, Maya was far more concerned about her earlier trip to the NERV stockade.

"It was right," she told herself firmly, pushing away from the door and heading into her bedroom, "Sempai only did what she had to do… I know it." She hesitated as she pulled out a small suitcase and laid it on the bed. "I… don't really know WHY you were there, Sempai," she admitted softly, "but… no, I won't think about it anymore. I did the right thing…" she closed her eyes, raw memories of the 13th angel filling her mind, "I did the right thing!"

In her mind, she could still see the Fourth Child's maimed form being pulled from the entry plug, and she often woke in a cold sweat as Shinji's anguished screams chased sleep away. Yes, freeing Doctor Akagi had been the right thing to do, she was sure of it. Surely the blonde's crime had not been severe enough to warrant level 7 detention!

"I swear he enjoys it…" Maya muttered bitterly, her mind turning to her now-former commander's behaviour. Any man who did not care about his own son was not fit to be in charge of an organization such as NERV, in Maya's opinion. After helping Ritsuko escape, she knew that she could not stay at NERV – even if it was never discovered that she aided the woman, she could not stand the cold, 'only the bottom line matters' attitude anymore.

How could Commander Ikari hurt her like that? Maya thought as she started to pack, She was always doing her job to the best of-

The woman's thoughts were cut off as the front door crashed in, and even as she turned around to see what was happening, two large men were rushing into the bedroom, each catching her under one arm and slamming her into the wall hard enough to crack the plaster. Maya felt a sharp sting in her right arm… and darkness swam up to fold her in its icy embrace…

**

When Maya next awoke, she found herself strapped firmly into the back seat of a strange car. Her body ached as if she had been sleeping forever, and her mouth was so dry she felt as if she could feel each individual tastebud on her tongue. She shook her head groggily, trying to clear it, and looked around, taking in her surroundings. She gasped as she found the driver of the car slumped against the dashboard, blood dripping fitfully from a ragged gash in his temple and falling with a steady 'plilp, plilp, plilp' onto the rubber floormat under his feet.

She managed to contain her scream, struggling desperately against the bonds holding her tightly to the seat, but it was no use – she was trapped. Where am I?? she thought desperately, looking out the open door on the passenger side and into the dark, foggy streets outside.

"Help!!! Somebody!" she shouted, finding the silence too unnerving to deal with.

Maya shouted until she was hoarse, feeling cold sweat break out all over her face as she realised no one was coming. The town outside looked quiet and dark, as if it was abandoned – a very frightening possibility. What if no one EVER came? She could be trapped here forever. She could DIE here, like a rat in a cage, without even the option of chewing through her wrists to free herself, as her arms were strapped securely to her sides. After what felt like hours, the door opposite Maya opened and a woman with long, dark hair and a deep blue evening dress slipped into the car, taking the seat at Maya's side and closing the door after herself.

"Hello, Miss Ibuki," the woman said lightly, reclining on the car seat and stretching languidly. "Lovely evening, isn't it?"

"W-who are you?" Maya asked uncertainly, shying unconsciously away from the woman's clear, bright gaze.

Like a crow, she thought uneasily, or a dog…

"Don't worry," the woman said warmly, "I'm not here to hurt you, Miss Ibuki." She tilted her head to the side, surveying the technician with her sparkling, laughing eyes. "Would you like a hand?"

Maya swallowed, wondering if the woman was mad. "Yes please," she said meekly, forcing her hands to unclench from the fists they had balled into.

"Alright," the woman said briskly, leaning across the seat and unbuckling one of the restraints holding Maya in place, "oh, and you can call me Alicia, by the way."

"P-pleased to meet you," Maya stammered, entirely at a loss for words as the woman quickly freed her from the restraints and helped her out of the back seat.

They stood outside the car and stared at one another for several minutes, Maya frowning faintly in confusion, Alicia smiling faintly in amusement, before Maya finally whispered simply, "What's going on?"

Alicia smiled indulgently. "Well," she said, reaching down to scoop up a small folder she had apparently discarded when she climbed into the car, "Let's just say a certain Mister Ikari had plans to replace one of his test subjects for a project he is working on in this town."

She opened the folder and handed it to Maya.

"Take your time, Miss Ibuki."

"Progress report, subject: R.K.…"

Maya's eyes widened in horror as she scanned the folder's contents. "Mister Kaji," she whispered, the folder slipping through her fingers and scattering its contents onto the concrete at her feet. "Oh no…"

A shiver worked through her body as the words 'alternate subject' flashed through her mind.

"I see you understand," Alicia said, pulling a small photo from somewhere in her dress, "and at the same time, you do not… correct?"

Maya could only nod dumbly. That assessment sounded correct, for while she understood what was being developed, and what she was there for, she could not quite grasp how or why it had all come this far. What possible use could the Commander have for something like this 'Sakura' the folder described?

"I believe," Alicia whispered, "that if you make your way here… you will find the answers you are looking for."

Maya took the photo, scrutinizing it closely for a moment. "But where-"

She cut herself off as she raised her head and found the street entirely empty.

**

"So," Maya finished with an uncomfortable shrug, "I was walking through the woods on my way to the house in the picture when I heard something behind me. I started to turn around, but then I felt something touch the back of my neck… I don't remember anything after that."

Misato's hands shook as she looked at Ritsuko, finding the woman's teeth unconsciously bared in a display of almost feral anger. It was clear to both women just who the 'alternate subject' was going to be, and based on how long Ritsuko had been in Silent Hill… Maya would have been sedated for weeks.

And once again, Alicia seemed to be instrumental in helping the NERV personnel in eluding the hangman's noose.

But why? Misato wondered, gesturing to Maya with her eyes. What is SHE out to gain?

"I'm sorry about Kaji, Major…" Maya said softly as Ritsuko put an arm awkwardly around her.

"I know," Misato said gently, "I am too." She took a deep breath, doing what she could to fill in the blanks on 'Project Sakura.'

"Th-the Commander was going to use this on the Children?" Maya asked, horror clearly evident on her face.

Her expression only grew worse as Misato and Ritsuko took turns explaining to the tech what had been happening in the town, omitting nothing, and describing their mutually held belief that some force or other was behind all that was happening.

"This may sound strange…" Ritsuko began hesitantly, "But… I think… we're here in this town and yet we're not here."

Misato was about to ask what the woman meant, but as she happened to glance out the cabin's back window, she caught sight of the house depicted in the photo Alicia had given her.

And it was less than a quarter mile away.

"Ritsuko," she cried excitedly, holding up a hand as Maya tried to struggle to her feet, "you stay here with Maya – I will be RIGHT back!"

Without waiting for a reply, Misato hurried out the front door and raced towards the small house.

**

Misato marched straight up to the front of the house, the hunting rifle held firmly in her hands and a determined look on her face. Nothing was going to stand in her way… nothing.

"Alicia," she said softly, unsurprised to find the woman standing in front of the house's front door. "What's going on here?" she demanded, sick of the calm woman's games, "Where's Shinji? Is he in there? He better be ok, or I'll-"

"Why now?" Alicia cut in smoothly. "After all you've put him through. You've never told him how you really felt about him, have you?" She assessed the operations director closely for a moment before continuing. "Did you notice how casual he was becoming in expressing his feelings after the 4th Angel? How it stopped after you had Asuka move in with you? Have you the faintest idea how you treated him after that?"

"I'm aware of my shortcomings…" Misato replied uncomfortably.

Alicia shook her head. "Is that so? Then why didn't you do anything about it? All you did was make things worse and give Asuka a reason to resent him when you told him he was the best. Did you really think she wouldn't find that confrontational?" She raised a hand as Misato opened her mouth to protest. "Because of your insistence that you all live together, and her resentment of you and your relationship with Ryouji, she would scream at him to make her breakfast, lunch – everything. And after observing your indifference, she called him every name under the sun in an attempt to rile you, destroying what self-esteem he had gained when you lived alone with him. Because of you, she found it acceptable to treat him like a lowly dog, fit only to be abused. And when you noticed what was happening, did you have her move out? No… you simply hid behind the blanket excuses of teenage behaviour and jealousy. "

"But-"

Before Misato could reply Alicia cut her off. "I'll tell you why you never got your priorities straight," she said calmly, "even when you knew you were making a mistake, you never admitted it. How long have you spent deluding yourself with the idea that you were trying to reach him when all you did was push him away…? When Toji became the 4th Child you should have told him, but instead you hid behind the thin veil of 'adding stress' to Shinji's life. Truly, you are a master tactician… but the only people you seem able to outwit on a regular basis are yourself, and him."

Misato's mouth worked, but no words came out. She felt trapped by the woman's harsh words, unable to counterattack because she knew every one of them to be true.

"Then there was the 16th Angel," Alicia sighed, shaking her head sadly, "you ran away again, thinking he was afraid of women or love – which was not true. Shinji was only afraid of hurting – himself and others – and he simply was not used to the kind of intimate contact you offered. He had never even had his hand held… did you know that? And the farce of a kiss he shared with Asuka was so far from intimate as to be laughable. Did you ever stop to think WHY he pulled away?" Alicia narrowed her eyes as she concluded, "Through your inaction and blasé attitude towards him, you did as much damage as his father, Asuka, EVA, and the angels combined."

Misato wanted to slap this woman and yell that it was lies – all lies!! …but her conscience would not let her do either. All she could do was hang her head in shame, knowing that there WERE other paths she could have chosen had she only been strong enough.

"Kaworu Nagisa was an angel," Alicia said quietly, waiting until Misato lifted her head once more, "But he genuinely cared about Shinji. He was always open with Shinji, always treated him with kindness and more importantly…" Alicia continued, her tone softening, "Kaworu told Shinji that he loved him – he gave Shinji unconditional love, a higher, purer love… and love was something Shinji had barely ever known. In many ways… Kaworu was more human than you."

Misato winced, but again, she could not make herself argue with the woman's point.

"There are people who would have exploited him, had he lived," Alicia pointed out, "and he couldn't allow that to happen, so he was forced to ask Shinji to make the ultimate sacrifice. Suicide is nothing when held up to the duty of killing a loved one. But you didn't care about any of that… all that mattered to you was that he died." Her voice took on a hard edge. "Then there is the matter of the 4th and 9th Angels – battles Shinji won in spite of your 'advice.' And that grated on you, didn't it? You could never stand to be proven wrong, but Shinji did what he needed to do. He knew that the 4thangel was vulnerable to a well placed knife strike and after the 9th Angel was defeated, was he supposed to let Asuka die?"

Alicia rubbed her eyes, as if pointing these facts out was making her tired. "Shinji never understood what you wanted," she whispered, "you keep saying you care, yet how many expressions of affection did you give him? Have you ever bothered to ask yourself 'What do I REALLY feel for Shinji?' His true self eluded because you were never clear. How could he open up to a woman who is not even honest with herself?"

Misato averted her eyes as the question echoed over and over in her mind. How do I feel about Shinji? she asked herself, all this time I never admitted it – not even to myself – so what is it that I feel? He's not just a Child, she realised, picturing the boy's smiling face in her mind, he's not just my co-worker, or my roommate… he's just… Shinji – and right now, in my life… is there anything more important? Honestly?

"Well?" asked Alicia, waiting placidly for a response.

"I love him." Misato answered, the words flying out of her mouth before she could give it a second thought. "I love Shinji. He… IS my life right now, and if I have to go through you, Commander Ikari, and a whole goddamned army of those monsters out there, I will find him again and make sure he knows how I feel.

Alicia regarded her for a full minute in absolute silence before inclining her head in a brief nod of acknowledgment. "If you what you say is true, then proceed," she said softly, "he is waiting inside… somewhere." At her gentle push, the house's front door swung silently open, but as Misato stepped past her, Alicia spoke again. "It is almost time for the reckoning," she said coolly, putting a hand on Misato's shoulder. "The sins of Miss Akagi, Miss Ibuki, Mister Fletcher, Mister Ikari… and yourself, must all be addressed, or the veil will never be lifted from this place. Remember, Miss Katsuragi… remember all the reasons you are here, and remember that those who go gathering shadows should not be surprised when they find themselves surrounded by darkness."

"What do you-"

Misato cut herself off as she turned to face the woman… and found only emptiness greeting her eyes.

I can still feel her hand, she thought, feeling goosebumps rising all over her body, God, if you're listening… I could really use a hand here…

Taking a deep breath, Misato stepped into the house, swallowing hard as the door slowly swung closed of its own accord.

Somehow… she doubted that God was listening.

TBC


	12. Nowhere to Go but Down

Chapter 10 – Nowhere to go but Down

Misato looked around the hallway of the house, frowning as she took in the rundown appearance of the place. It was not rotten and rundown as things in the 'other' world were, but it still appeared as though it had not been inhabited for decades. Why would Shinji be here? she wondered, shining the flashlight around in an instinctual sweep for anything dangerous. All this time, she thought with sudden clarity, all this time, I loved him… and I never admitted it – not even to myself…

She sighed deeply, realizing that if she had admitted it, she might very well have been dismissed as Shinji's guardian. Of course, standing in the dark, wondering if he was hurt or scared or lonely, that seemed like a pretty thin excuse. They were just kids, she told herself angrily, and I never really let them grow up, I kept giving orders that kept them 'safe.' But how safe can you be when you're in an EVA?? God, how did I EVER justify that?!

Misato wondered suddenly how much of what she had done in the name of tactics had actually dulled their edge. The 9th should have been a lesson, but it was a lesson that she never quite learned.

Everything always had to be my way… she thought shamefully, I was pissed off that Shinji had completely shown me up on a couple of occasions – like when he took out the 4th Angel and rescued Asuka after the 9th Angel was beaten. Even between missions I couldn't stand to be proven wrong – especially by Shinji or Asuka. Misato sighed. It was a trait that Ritsuko frequently reproached her for, and it kept her thinking of Shinji, Rei and Asuka as just kids when they were so much more. They were the ones who put their necks out so they could beat the angels. They were the ones that routinely put EVERYTHING on hold to fight enemies they knew nothing about.

They were the instruments of her revenge, and ultimately, she had done everything in her power to ensure that they never grew into more than that. Finding that she was suddenly in no real hurry to move forward, Misato stood still, contemplating the interactions with the people in her life.

Shinji was certainly not the total coward that Asuka and probably his father constantly dismissed him as. If he were a total coward, why would he have piloted the EVA at all…a coward would have refused, even though a severely injured Rei would have piloted, and if he were a coward why would he have come back after the 4th Angel? Misato had always wanted to reach who he was underneath, but she realized now that she had never made any real effort to. Shinji had finally been making some progress while they lived together but all that was flushed down the toilet by her greatest mistake. After all this time she was forced to face the truth about many of her actions, and she finally understood the nature of both Kaworu's request… and his sacrifice.

Misato looked back on her words to Shinji, and images of a broken child filled her mind. What if there was some crisis that we needed his EVA for? He was so messed up, he never would have been able to make Unit 01 walk, let alone fight!!

Then there was Rei. A young girl seemingly beyond the reach of worldly troubles, whose only reason to exist is to pilot and be obedient. But Misato had seen that emotionless exterior cracked a few times. She had seen the shy young lady underneath trying to break out of a shell made dense by fourteen years of cold reality and loveless existence. So what if she was part angel like Ritsuko said? She was still a person, a person that Misato couldn't be bothered to get to know.

And Asuka… Misato's greatest failure as a guardian. Maybe she should not have taken Asuka in in the first place, she thought. The redhead had certainly became resentful of her for quite a lot of reasons, the first being that she forced Asuka live with her and Shinji when she obviously would have preferred to have lived alone. I didn't care about that, Misato thought bitterly, all I cared about was keeping track of all the tools I could use to get revenge on the angels. Damn, my ego was MORE than a match for hers… I just wasn't as honest about what drove me as she was. Secondly, as Alicia had pointed out, was telling Shinji he was the best, right in front of Asuka's face. I pretended that I was so proud of him, KNOWING it would piss her off. God, if I actually HAD been proud of him – and showed it all the time – maybe things would have been different… Third was that Misato had come to realize, I didn't try to HELP Asuka…I was trying to make her more like me. Anyone would resent that! God, and I wondered why our relationship deteriorated.

Everything Misato had done made things worse between them, and when she knew Asuka was starting to crack, she did nothing but fall back on her rank and give orders that made the situation even worse. How much did I contribute to her breakdown? she thought miserably. Was I one of the main causes of it? God, I probably was.

Misato shook herself and started off down the hall. As she tried door after locked door, she thought again about Alicia. The woman definitely knew what was going on here, and now that Misato though about it, she realized that the monsters that were ever-present in the small town NEVER seemed to be around when Alicia was. And then she just vanishes? she thought, pushing on the second to the last door in the hall and nearly jumping as it creaked slowly open, revealing a small, well kept (if dusty) sitting room.

"What's this?" she murmured, finding the far wall of the room occupied by a tall bookshelf, upon which sat a single, framed photograph.

Misato picked it up, examining it closely with a soft frown on her face. The photo looked rather old, but she could not be one-hundred percent sure of the age, as it was black and white, but she could see the couple in it clearly… and it nearly made her gasp. One of them was a young Japanese man, dressed in a pair of dark slacks and a plain button-up shirt. And the woman looked like…Alicia??

Misato shook her head in disbelief, her eyes running around the rim of the frame until they fell on a small, somewhat faded date

"September 13, 1941."

All at once, a wave of heat washed over her, and her head began to spin…

**

Misato blinked as she found herself in the middle of the woods. She could see the house from where she was standing, only it looked well-maintained, and vibrant – as if it was less than a year old. As she watched, unsure of what to do, the young man from the photo stepped out of the front door, stretching his hands high up over his head and yawning expansively. A moment later, a young woman with long, dark hair and a deep blue evening dress ran out of the forest and, without preamble, threw her arms around him.

"Alicia!" the young man laughed, holding the woman tightly against him and kissing her affectionately on the top of the head.

"Hello, Shinji!" the girl piped happily.

Shinji?? Misato thought with astonishment, wondering where she was. She was taken aback by the fact that not only did that young man resemble Shinji but seemed to bear the same name. Could it be a coincidence? Misato wondered. They don't seem to see me… is this a… memory somehow??

"Sorry I'm late Shinji," Alicia puffed, clearly winded, "I had to wait until my father fell asleep – you know he… he doesn't like… you and me seeing ea-"

"I know," Shinji cut in gently. "It's been almost 3 years since my parents died and left me this place… there are rumours of war… I can't blame him for being nervous. I'd be nervous too if my daughter was seeing some Japanese loony in the woods, especially one ten years her elder."

Alicia shook her head. "There've been rumours of war for years," she said softly, "ever since the embargo against Japan – and you are NOT a loony… you're… my Shinji…" she ran her fingers through his hair, sighing softly as she averted her eyes. "Where you're from doesn't matter to me, neither does the fact that I'm 10 years younger – not one bit!! …you're still the man I love."

They kissed, losing themselves in the moment as thoughts of prejudice and hatred faded away.

…for them.

"Alicia!!"

Alicia's eyes flew open, and she looked back over her shoulder. "D-Daddy!" she gasped.

Instinctively, Misato tried to reach for her gun as a small group of rough-looking men stepped into the clearing, led by a man with a striking resemblance to Alicia. I can't move! she thought suddenly, stunned as her hand hung loosely by her side, I… I can't do anything but breathe and turn my head – I can't stop this!!

It did not take a genius to see what was going to happen… the hungry eyes of the men behind Alicia's father nearly shouted their murderous intent.

"Get away from him, Alicia," her father warned, never taking his eyes off the young man's face, "you just go on back home now."

Shinji cleared his throat, stepping between Alicia and her father. "Can I help you gentlemen with something?" he said politely.

"Shut up, Jap!" one of the men shouted, "We've had enough of your sneaking around!"

Misato blinked as she recognized the man's blond hair and fierce blue eyes. That's Fletcher! she thought incredulously. No, wait… Fletcher's father maybe? Or grandfather? He's just… a LITTLE different, but that's a Fletcher…

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Shinji said, gesturing for Alicia to get behind him. "Now if you'll excus-"

"We aren't stupid," the man with Fletcher's face cut in angrily, "we've all heard the news. War's coming! …and it's all the Germans and Japanese stirring it up!"

Alicia's father nodded. "Well we aren't going to stand around and let you get us into it, Jap-boy."

It was at this point that the man named Shinji made the worst possible mistake he could. Misato thought, maybe, that the situation was still tenable… but then Shinji laughed. "I'm not trying to get anyone into anything," he chuckled ruefully, "I just want to be left alo-"

"Think that's funny do you?" Fletcher cut in dangerously. "We're all just stupid pale-faces to you, is that it? HUH?!"

"No, no!" Shinji said, raising his hands. "That's not what I meant at all, I just think it's absur-"

"Shut up!"

Misato gasped as Alicia's father took two great strides and swung his arm in a wicked hook, catching Shinji completely off-guard and sending him sprawling to the ground in an undignified heap.

"Daddy, no!!"

Alicia leaned down to help her lover to his feet, but her father struck her across the face with the back of his hand. "You get home now, Alicia," he grated, gesturing the other men forward, "This is men's work now."

"NO!" Alicia cried, struggling to her feet as the men surged forward, "God, Daddy – NO!!"

Misato tried to look away as the young woman was backhanded again, knocking her back down. Oh God, don't let this happen, she thought sickly, swallowing as the men hauled Shinji to his feet and dragged him into the forest, leaving Alicia reaching futilely out for him on the soft grass in front of his house.

"D-daddy," the young woman sobbed, grasping her father's pants leg as he stepped over her, "d-don't… please…?"

The man's face never softened as he yanked his leg free. "You go home now," he repeated flatly, his eyes alive with hate, "you just go home… this won't take long."

"NO!!"

Alicia curled into a ball and sobbed as her father moved off into the woods, a long, sturdy length of rope swinging from his belt in time with his great strides as he set out to bring his harsh form of justice to the kind, gentle man Alicia loved so much.

**

Misato gasped, falling to her knees as she found herself back in the sitting room with cold trickles of sweat pouring down her face. The picture slipped from her numb fingers, dropping to the floor with a muffled crash as the first of the hot tears slid down her cheeks. Thank you, God, she thought miserably, for not making me watch the rest…

She scrubbed at her eyes, trying to forget the look of terror on the young woman's face… and the horribly familiar look of resignation in that other Shinji's eyes. "He wasn't surprised at all," she mumbled, staring down at the happily smiling couple, "he knew just what was going to happen… and he didn't even fight."

The idea of simply giving in to death made Misato sick to her stomach, so she tried to focus her attention on something else, studying the features of the woman in the photo with great interest. The woman in the vision she'd had looked like Alicia, both in voice and appearance, but how was that possible? Just who is she? Misato wondered, reaching down and almost touching the jagged glass in the picture frame.

The woman DID look like Alicia but the way she looked at him, and the young man bore a striking resemblance to Shinji – even down to the name… but none of that changed the fact that the photo read 1940.

But that was 75 years ago… Misato thought, shaking her head, that woman couldn't have been Alicia – she'd be nearly a hundred years old! It has to be a coincidence!

Misato sighed and rose to her feet, leaving the sitting room without looking back and making her way to the last door in the hallway. "I still have to find MY Shinji," she told herself, pushing the door open to reveal a long, narrow staircase, "nothing else matters."

She made her way slowly went downstairs, finding herself in an expansive cellar. A quick look around showed nothing but a large metal door with five small slits in the centre, and a series of lines etched deeply into the wall. Nothing more.

"Nowhere else to go," she muttered, leaning against the door and trying to force it open, "Locked… figures…"

She stroked her chin with one hand, looking from the door to the series of lines. Of course!

With a short laugh of delight, Misato leaned forward and squinted, biting her lip as she read the narrow, barely legible script carved into the wall.

"The past -- irrecoverable

The futu-- is unknowable

The pr--ent is irrefutable

Bet--en the three

T-- Door of Heaven lies

Bounded by the -----s five

Pray ye to Sam---l

And H- shall guid- your f-te"

Misato felt a shiver work through her as her eyes ran over the patchwork poem. "The Door of Heaven," she muttered uncomfortably, "why does that sound so much like Heaven's Door to me…?"

The last time a door of Heaven had been opened, the final angel had made his move, so the idea of opening this one did not sit well with Misato.

The past is irrecoverable, huh? she thought, studying the door closely, Well I don't know about that, and I'm sure not going to pray to some musty god to guide my fate, but… pray! No, it CAN'T be that easy!!

She reached into her pocket and pulled out one of the silver crosses. "No way," she whispered, "no… way is it going to be that simple!!"

Slowly, she raised the cross, comparing it to one of the slits in the door. It looked like it might fit… but what were the chances that shoving five crosses into five holes would open a door? Especially when she JUST happened to have EXACTLY five?? There was no way!

With a slightly shaking hand, Misato reached out and fitted the end of the cross into the top right slit. "Here goes nothing…"

Before she could tell herself she was being stupid, she pushed the cross forward.

There was a soft click.

"No fucking WAY!!"

Her heartbeat picked up as she pulled out another cross. It clicked in without so much as a hint of resistance. In shocked disbelief, Misato pushed a third, then a fourth cross into place, each time expecting to find some resistance, and each time letting out a soft gasp of shock as there was none. As she pulled out the fifth cross, however, she hesitated.

You've gotta be kidding me…

Swallowing hard, Misato reached out and slowly ran her forefinger from one slit to the next, connecting them all one by one until a distinct, unmistakable pattern formed between the points.

It was a pentagram… and it was upside down.

Not giving up NOW are you? her mind chided as she stared at the final cross, Shinji's waiting for you on the other side.

A wry smile lit Misato's face.

"Yeah," she whispered, bringing the cross up to the last slit, "he's waiting on the other side alright… I just hope it's not THAT other side."

Wasting no more time, Misato rammed the last cross into place and stepped back, expecting some spectacular, grandiose opening for such a huge door.

She was not disappointed.

"Wow…"

Misato gasped as the crossed rotated silently in their slits, seemingly turning the metal to liquid as they rearranged themselves. A moment later, a brightly glowing pentagram appeared, roughly paralleling the one Misato had drawn with her finger as the crosses moved once more, sliding out of the slits until she was sure they must fall, then lying flat against the metal and spinning slowly around to stand with their points facing upward. And then… the door was gone, and only a gaping maw of a grime-crusted staircase could be seen, with no hint that there had ever been anything to bar it.

The stench that haunted Misato at various places in this town reached her, simultaneously beckoning her forward and repulsing her to the point that she felt her gorge rising. And where does this go? she thought nervously, Hell??

"Well, there's only one way to find out…" she muttered, taking a step forward… but coming up short as she noticed something.

The lines had changed.

"The past is safe

The future is dead

The present is hopeless

Abandon hope, all ye who enter

Fuck off

Don't take another step

This means you

Katsuragi!"

Misato wiped sweat off her upper lip, pulling her eyes away from the lines with much difficulty. "R-right," she stammered, too stunned by the lines to wonder why (or care how, at this point) they had changed, "well fuck you too – I'm finding Shinji!"

She took a step, half expecting some demon to come bounding out of the doorway and tear her in half, gibbering that she should have done as she was told. When she was still in one piece a moment later, she let out a deep breath and marched through the door, clenching her right hand into a determined fist. She made her way down the winding stairway for what seemed like hours, encountering nothing but grime and filth and that horrid stench of decay. Twice, she thought she saw something move, but when she shone her flashlight in the direction of the perceived threat, there was nothing.

Are you near, Shinji? she thought tiredly, I swear, if this was all for nothing… I'll just pop that shotgun in my mouth and-

The thought cut itself off as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Dead end??" Misato cried, shining the flashlight all around the narrow enclosure at the bottom of the stairs. "Oh, you've got to be KIDDING!!" She came up short as she noticed a small, red envelope sitting in the furthest corner of the dead end, and she walked right up to it, snatching it up eagerly as she muttered, "This better be good!"

Misato frowned as she opened the envelope and shook out two mini-DVDs… and nothing more.

"What the hell…?"

As she raised the envelope to eye-level, a brilliant blue light flashed behind her eyes

**

Misato shook her head as she found herself in her apartment, sitting comfortably at the table with a mug of coffee in her hands.

Asuka sat across the table from her, staring down at an empty can of soda with a sullen look on her face.

It was day time.

There was no fog.

They were home.

What kind of fucked up dream was that?? Glancing around for Shinji. Her stomach felt as if it was sinking. Or is THIS the dream?

"Asuka?" she said cautiously, setting her mug down and walking up to the girl.

"Go away…" Asuka said coldly. "Just leave me the hell alone for once…"

Misato felt her heart clench. "Please let me help you," she said, deciding that dream or not, she had to try to find a way to help the redhead.

Asuka laughed, but it was not humorous. It was a cold, harsh sound that dripped with pity and contempt. "Help me?" she laughed, "Help ME?!?" Asuka continued to laugh, tears streaming down her face as she clutched her sides. "I hate to disappoint you, but you've NEVER tried to help me…the truth is that all you've been doing is trying to CHANGE me!!"

"That's not true-" Misato began.

"Yes! It is!" Asuka snapped back, her laughter vanishing in an instant. "You can't FORCE someone to care, and I wasn't about to try to GET you to!" Misato flushed as Asuka continued. "You were always my orders this and our orders that! You could never handle it when something or someone doesn't fit into your silly little ideals and you could never stand to be proven wrong! You don't give a fuck about what people want!"

Misato swallowed, trying to defend herself. "But I-"

"All you ever did was hurt me," Asuka whispered, rising to her feet and advancing on the woman.

"Shut up," Misato gasped, taking an involuntary step backward, "I didn't mean to hur-"

"I was a tool to you," Asuka cut in, advancing on Misato even as the woman shrank back and retreated around the table, "You insulted my intelligence and you USED me to get your silly little revenge, and then you hid behind me because YOU were afraid of SHINJI – afraid of how you felt about him!"

"Shut up!!"

Asuka continued advancing, forcing Misato into the corner as she berated her. "You wanted him so bad you could taste it!" she shrieked. "Lover, son, friend, it didn't matter as long as you had him in your life – he was food to you! If he held you, if he was nice to you, if he FUCKED you, it was all the same as long as you had someone to come home to. You're so fucking pathetic! So goddamned scared of being alone that you would do anything, SAY anything to make sure YOU were the only one he ran to when he was scared or hurt! THAT'S why you tried to destroy Kaworu in his eyes – because he needed Kaworu more than he needed y-"

"SHUT UP!!!"

Asuka's head snapped back as Misato lashed out, wrapping her hands around Asuka's throat and lifting her off the floor. "ShutupshutupshutupshutupSHUUUTTUUUUP!!!"

Tears streamed down Misato face as she squeezed harder and harder. "What would you know about it you little slut!?" she screamed. "I've been alone for fifteen fucking years! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT I'M PATHETIC!!! HOW DARE YOU!!?"

The only reply to Misato's raving came in the form of a loud, wet snap as the vertebrae in Asuka's neck finally succumbed to the awesome pressure on them.

**

Misato gasped, sitting up with a start as she found herself lying on a bed in some strange room. Where am I? she wondered, casting about wildly. The kitchen – Asuka! Oh what have I do-

"Misato?"

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she found someone sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Amber…?"

The girl nodded absently. "It looked like you were having a bad dream," she said softly, "I didn't want to wake you, but… but I wanted to tell you something about that house you were looking for. My dad told me that no one's lived there for years. I guess… something bad happened there right before World War Two, and ever since that , the people that have lived there have… have disappeared, so after about 1950, people gave up and stopped trying, deciding it was better to leave it alone."

"O-oh," Misato stammered, unnerved by the girl's flat tone – and still unsure of how she came to be here. "I see."

"Misato…" Amber trailed off nervously.

"What's wrong?" Misato asked, swinging her feet off the side of the bed.

Worry about how later, she thought firmly, Amber looks like she's about to cry…

"I've… been to Brookhaven," Amber said slowly, "and I stopped by Aaron's place, and… and I found something…"

"What is it?" Misato coaxed gently, wondering of Amber had worked out for herself what her boyfriend had been up to.

A pained expression crossed the girl's face. "I had some weird feelings," she continued, ignoring Misato's question, "like… like I'd been to Brookhaven before, and at Aaron's I felt like something happened… but…" Amber's voice broke, "but I can't remember what, and… and I think it's important."

"Just relax," Misato urged, "you'll remember in a while." She offered the girl a reassuring smile. "I know that sometimes the harder I try to think of something, the harder it is to remem-"

"No!" Amber cut in, her voice taking on a desperate edge. "You don't understand! I think… something BAD happened – and I KNOW it was important… and I can't remember!"

"Easy!" Misato said, rising carefully to her feet as Amber leapt up. "Just… just take it easy, Amber. I'm right here, ok? I'll help you any way I can – oh, that reminded me, I've got your ri-"

Amber's eyes widened. "Aaron's star," she whispered hoarsely, "you have Aaron's star!!"

Misato flinched, looking at the tin star on her jacket. Damn it! she thought angrily, I totally forgot about that!!

"I gave it to him the night…" all the colour drained from Amber's face as she trailed off. "NOOO!!!"

"Amber!" Misato cried, chasing after the girl as she turned and bolted from the room, slamming the door in Misato's face.

When she yanked it open, looking left and right down the grimy corridor, Amber was nowhere to be seen. Misato tore down the hallway, banging on each door as she passed… knowing they were all locked. Finally, she came to a pair of gaping double doors, leading to yet another stairwell.

"Looks like I'm being summoned," she panted, taking a last, pained look down the corridor, "but to what? Alicia said something about a reckoning…"

Misato stood at the edge of the stairs, thinking hard on Alicia's words and what Ritsuko had said about this town. Almost every person I've met in this town has done Shinji harm, directly or indirectly, she thought slowly, even me – especially me! The only person I can think of that hasn't… is Amber.

She tried to put the puzzle together in her mind. Commander Ikari was the father who abandoned, ignored, and mistreated Shinji, exploiting him ruthlessly and giving him none of the things a father should have given his own son.

At least my own father gave me affection; she thought dismally, half-hearted kind words and lame gifts to try to make me happy after what he did to mother… but then he gave his life to save me. I can't imagine the Commander doing ANY of that. And Ritsuko…

Ritsuko, while not as bad as Gendou, nevertheless had done pretty much the same. She was never particularly close to Shinji, and essentially used him like a tool.

I never believed she LIKED the idea of having Shinji killed… Misato understood and knew Ritsuko too well to believe that, and somewhere in the darkest corner of her mind, she understood that deep down Ritsuko regretted her treatment of the boy, especially during the incident with the 12th. At the time, Misato had just written her off as cold-hearted, but then the blonde had taken him with her when she fled – and it would have been very easy to just leave him behind to fend for himself.

Fletcher… the thought passed through Misato's mind like a stray bullet. Fletcher's never hurt Shinji… has he? He's like Amber too, unless there's something I can't see…

Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. "I keep getting sidetracked," she whispered.

Pushing the gut feeling that Fletcher and Amber had some unseen connection to Shinji, Misato took her pistol firmly in hand… and started down the stairs.

TBC


	13. 2nd Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ritsuko and Maya and then Gendo encounter Alica yet again

Second Interlude

Fletcher scoured the house his father had told him stories of, certain that he had seen the purple-haired woman go in not fifteen minutes prior. Lots of really bad shit had gone down in that building… the bodies of his grandfather and a few others were found, all mutilated in some way, and their murders had never been solved – nor had the disappearances of the people who had tried living there.

But that was ancient history.

The only thing on Aaron Fletcher's mind that day was finding, and killing, the woman that had upset the food chain in his small town. And now, standing undecided in front of a long, dark staircase, he felt that he was close to attaining that goal.

"Aw hell with it," he muttered, starting down the stairs, "might as well…"

Fletcher was proud to say that he had a fairly good career in the Marines. He served in the Gulf War, Somalia, and Bosnia before coming home to became an officer for, and eventually Police Chief of, the small town Silent Hill. This town was his life. He had been born and raised in this place, eventually meet Edith, the love of his life, and settling down to try his hand at family life. He paused on the stairs, trying to remember her for what she was instead of what she became… but she had been deteriorating for so long, and in such small increments, that it was hard to remember a time when she was just 'Edith.'

He could tell you exactly when things had first started to go seriously downhill, though: right after Charlie was born. Of course he knew a child was going to be a bit of a handful, as he had looked after his nephew on several occasions. He had also anticipated a little crankiness on Edith's part – giving birth was no picnic after all – but he never would have suspected that a little postpartum depression could lead to the problems they had now… and the very real threat of hospitalization gave him the shivers, forcing him to question his decision all over again.

"Can't be helped, babe," he whispered to himself, "I tried to keep it all together, but you just kept getting worse. I have to think of Charlie, you know, I'm still his… father…"

Fletcher trailed off as he swung his flashlight back and forth along the dark, slightly damp walls, his brow drawing down in confusion.

"Where the hell am I?"

**

"Where the hell is she?" Ritsuko muttered, eyeing the house Misato had darted towards. Did she see Shinji there, or something? What the hell…?

"What's going on here sempai?" Maya asked, trying not to cling to the older woman's shirtsleeve.

"I'm not sure," Ritsuko replied, expanding on her earlier theory as the regarded the house, "but I think we're in this town and yet we're not in this town. Why haven't we encountered any people? The only people we've seen so far have had some connection to… Shinji."

Yes, that could be it… she thought, trailing off as she pondered the significance of this observation. Misato was his guardian and commanding officer…I was the chairperson of the project that Shinji had become a part of…Maya is a colleague of Shinji's, and Gendou… well he is his father and the commander of NERV.

Ritsuko frowned thoughtfully as she tried to determine what connection Fletcher or that girl Misato mentioned had with the Third Child.

"Why don't we go in?" Maya mused, interrupting Ritsuko's thoughts.

Ritsuko eyed her critically, giving a significant glance towards the woman's bandaged neck. "Are you-"

"I'll be okay!" Maya said with a reassuring smile, flushing slightly as she realized she'd cut the woman off. "Sorry."

Ritsuko nodded and picked up her shotgun. "I suppose you're right," she said calmly, starting towards the front door. "Stay close to me."

Together they made their way up onto the porch, their eyes darting everywhere for any sign of movement. This place looks liked it hasn't been inhabited for decades, Ritsuko thought, raising a hand to stop Maya and approaching the door on her own, why would Shinji be hiding here? Hell, why would he be in the woods at all? If it was me, I'd head for the safety of numbers at home or school, or make a beeline for the city limits. It just doesn't make sense… but then again, none of this makes sense, so…

She raised her hand and pushed the door open, unconsciously bringing her shotgun up as she found another person standing in the hallway. "You…"

"Hello Doctor Akagi, Miss Ibuki," the woman said, inclining her head in a polite bow.

"What's going here, Alicia?" Ritsuko demanded, pushing past her shock at finding the enigmatic American, once again, in the very last place she would have expected. "Is Shinji here?"

"Why, in the last two weeks, did you suddenly acknowledge Shinji as a person…?" Alicia asked, ignoring the blonde's question, "In that time, what was it that changed him from lab specimen to human, Doctor?"

Ritsuko bristled. "I'm well aware of what I helped put him through…" she began slowly, searching for the words to express herself.

"Are you?" Alicia asked coolly, arching an eyebrow. "Throughout Shinji's tenure at NERV, you were as bad as his father – and sometimes worse. Usually, you just treated Shinji as though he was an interesting experiment… and then… do you recall the incident with the twelfth angel, Doctor Akagi?"

"How can I forget…?" Ritsuko whispered, her eyes going hazy with the memory. "We… we talked about it a little while after we got here…"

Biting her lip pensively, the director of Project E cast her mind back to that day…

**

Ritsuko came home from work and set her keys down with a deep sigh. It had only been a week since they had started living in this apartment under the aliases of Natsuko and Shinji Takeuchi, and in that time she had tried to do something with Shinji she never tried before: get to know him. In doing this, she had found that there were a lot of things to like about Shinji… the foremost being the fact that he was completely unlike his father. He was kind, quiet, undemanding, and thoughtful – things her former lover could, in her opinion, never be.

She wanted to talk to Shinji about what she had tried to do to him during that business with the 12th Angel… because the more she thought about it, the more she started to doubt her choice in that scenario, and the more she realized that he might actually know the real story about what had almost happened when he was trapped in that Sea of Dirac.

"Guess there's nothing else for it," she muttered, making her way through the small apartment, "full power… maximum performance."

She found him in the kitchen, humming to himself as he washed the few dishes he had accumulated from eating his solitary dinner.

Her schedule precluded eating with him, except on the weekends.

"Hello Ritsuko…" Shinji said, glancing over his shoulder as he took finally took notice of her. "Welcome home."

Ritsuko smiled. This is the only place I ever hear my real name, she thought ironically. And now that I think about it… it's the only place I've ever been welcomed back to since Mother died.

"Hello Shinji," she replied softly, forcing herself to go forward before she could change her mind. "Can I talk to you?"

"Um…sure," Shinji replied with a shrug.

"Do you know… do you know what I… what I ordered during the fight with the 12th Angel?"

Shinji's hands shook slightly as he gave a slow nod, rinsing the plate he was working on and setting it in the drying rack… but keeping his silence as he moved on to a drinking glass, his dark blue eyes carefully fixed on the soapy task before him.

"I tried to… to have you killed…" Ritsuko managed, pushing the words out in spite of his acknowledgment, "I just… dismissed you as being lost…and I…I…" for some reason, she could not finish – her mouth simply would not form any more words.

After a moment of awkward silence, Shinji reached out and turned off the water. "Ritsuko…" he whispered softly, hanging his head over the sink as he tried to formulate the right words, "I've… you don't have to feel bad about that. I forgive you…"

"What?" Ritsuko breathed, stunned.

"I've forgiven you…" Shinji said simply, "you…you did what you had to…right? I can't be mad at you for that…" he bowed his head in shame. "I mean… I doubt I could have done it if it was up to me. You're just so much stronger than me… I'm just a weak little cowa-"

Ritsuko was moving before she could even think, crossing the small kitchen and throwing her arms around his chest. "Don't you say that," she gasped, blinking hard as her eyes began filling with tears, "don't you ever say that! You are a GOOD person, Shinji – you've never let us down when we needed you. You're so… so strong – don't ever say you're not!"

Slowly, Shinji's body grew less tense in her arms… and after several minutes, he turned to face her, returning her embrace with open, honest gratitude.

"Thank you…"

**

Ritsuko's thoughts were interrupted by Alicia's voice.

"What were you thinking when you tried to have him killed?"

"I did what I thought was necessary," the blonde replied automatically, the cliché answer now burning her tongue as if each syllable was acid-coated.

"And?"

Ritsuko bowed her head in shame, wishing Maya did not look quite so confused and lost as she stared at her.

"You were thinking your dedication to the scenario would impress Gendou weren't you?" Alicia prompted

"That was part of the reason," Ritsuko whispered, pretending she could not hear her kohei's gasp of shock, "I won't deny it…"

"How many times did you choose Gendou over everyone and everything else in your life?" Alicia asked bluntly. "You had so many people around who cared about you…yet you always chose him."

Ritsuko nodded miserably. It was before and after the 16th Angel that she was forced to face the truth about her relationship with Gendou. He didn't love her…she was just a tool for him to use in his machinations, and a body to warm his bed at the end of the day. She knew all of that know, of course… but knowing it did not make it any easier to take.

"How long will you keep walking your mother's path?" Alicia asked seriously. "She died as a result of deliberately botching the attempt to bring Yui Ikari back…she died because of her instability, and she died because she wanted Gendou and didn't care who she had to walk over in order to have him – she bound herself in chains of jealousy and paranoia, wrapping herself so tight that even the hint that she might have been discarded sent her into a murderous rage." She met Ritsuko's eyes head on. "Will you follow in her footsteps, Doctor Akagi… or will you break the chain?"

Ritsuko could only nod. The other woman's words hit too close to home to be refuted. All this time, she thought dismally, all this time I blamed Rei for being so perfect that Gendou chose her over me… and I blamed mother for being too unstable and falling in love with a man who didn't love her – I blamed anything I could, keeping myself from thinking about why he never looked me in the eyes when we made love, or said 'I love you' without me saying it first. God, why am I so weak?!

"L-leave her alone," Maya stammered, drawing Ritsuko from her reverie. "You leave her alone – she's suffered enough!"

"What about you Maya Ibuki…" Alicia said softly, turning her attention to the tech, "The one thing that has surprised me most about you is how you never really did anything for Shinji. You always helped those causing his suffering – following orders like a good little girl when you knew it would cause him pain… and when the 13th Angel happened what did you do? Nothing. You simply obeyed Commander Ikari, even though you knew what would happen."

"Shut up!!!" snapped Maya, all-too painful memories surfacing in her mind as she tried to stare the woman down. She could still hear Shinji's agonized scream as he beheld the results of the dummy plug's activation. "What do you know about it? How many times do you think I go to bed and still hear Shinji's scream or see that poor Suzuhara kid pulled out of the plug with one of his legs gone!? Do you think that's easy to live with? Do you think I'm proud of what I've done – DO YOU?!"

"Maya…" Ritsuko breathed, stunned by the anguish in her subordinate's voice.

But Alicia was not impressed. "And yet, you did nothing to stop it," she whispered, shaking her head dolefully. "You never stood up to the Commander – even when Asuka's mind was being defiled, and you had the idea of reversing her cable and pulling her back, out of the angel's range… you did nothing. Time and time again, you kept your opinions and doubts to yourself, hiding behind the shield of 'duty' rather than standing up for what you believed in. And did you ever make any effort to get to know Shinji? How much do you think you could have done for him without even knowing what kind of person he was? You speak of pride and suffering… but you do it from your sempai's shadow, content to let her make all of the tough choices while you simply stand mutely by and execute her orders – for better, or for worse – and make absolutely no attempt to actually involve yourself."

Maya averted her eyes, her cheeks burning with shame at the woman's harsh words. Oh how she longed to deny it – to refute what had been said and scream 'I did everything in my power!' were it only true…

"What is Shinji to the two of you?" Alicia murmured after a long, painful silence.

Both women replied simultaneously and without thought.

"Shinji is a person I need to make up to for all the wrongs I've done to him."

"Shinji is a person who needs my help, and since I was not able to before, I will now."

Alicia nodded approvingly. "If you remain truthful about your reasons for seeking him," she said calmly, "I'm sure that you will be rewarded. Miss Katsuragi has already opened the door for you… you have but to step through it to continue on your path."

With a short bow, the woman passed through one of the myriad doors in the house's hallway.

"I guess we should do what she says," Maya murmured, shivering as they glanced into the room the woman had entered… and found it empty.

Lost in memories of the past, Ritsuko could only nod.

**

Gendou Ikari wandered through the woods, cursing as branches snapped behind him. Being low on ammo, he did not think that firing blindly into the darkened woods was the best idea, so he hurried forward, smiling to himself as he spied a small house resting neatly in the middle of a clearing in the trees. He reached the door and stepped through with no problems, closing it behind him and sliding the bolt home with a satisfied smirk.

His smirk fell away, however, as he turned around. "You…" he hissed, his lips pulling away from his teeth as he found himself face to face with the last person in the world he wanted to see.

"Greetings, Mister Ikari," the woman said, offering him a faint smile. "Lovely evening… isn't it?"

"What's going on here?" Gendou demanded, levelling his gun at the woman as she leaned casually against the door to the cellar.

"You never faced up to the things you did to Shinji," Alicia said serenely, "even now you won't acknowledge how much you've wronged him… how unfortunate. The utterly disgraceful way you've treated him and the equally disgraceful way you've treated those working under you leaves an… unpleasant taste in my mouth, Mister Ikari."

"Your opinion of me is irrelevant," Gendou replied immediately, drawing the hammer on his pistol back, "I'm only going to ask you one more time – what's going on here?"

"Haven't you yet figured out why you are here?"

Gendou hesitated. There was… something odd about this town, but he had yet to put his finger on it. Perhaps a shot to the woman's kneecap would get him the information he sought… and at the very least it would banish the annoying feeling of powerlessness the woman's presence generated in him.

"If you truly want answers," Alicia said, stepping to the side and pushing the door open, "Go right in… just be sure that you are prepared for what you will find." Offering him a short bow, she turned towards one of the other doors and pushed it open, preparing to step through.

"Stop!" Gendou ordered, firing a warning shot past the woman's head. "Damn it, I said st-"

Abruptly, Gendou found himself sprawled flat on the floor. Every inch of his skin was burning as if he had just stepped out of an oven, and his limbs felt very, very heavy. As he tried to get up, he felt a strong hand lift him from the floor and slam him into the wall, driving the air from his lungs.

"What are you?" he rasped, refusing to let his fear show on his face as he stared into Alicia's cold, dark eyes. "A-Angel…?"

"Interesting choice of words," Alicia whispered, her lips quirking at the corners and threatening to curve up into a small smile. "Let's just say I'm someone who happens to care about Shinji… and leave it at that."

So saying, she opened her hand, allowing Gendou to collapse, gasping for breath, to the floor. When he looked up – raising his pistol with every intention of emptying its clip – she was gone.

TBC


	14. Amber's Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misato learns of a terrible truth and also yet another of Chief Fletcher's dark secrets

Chapter 11 – Amber's Smile

Misato made her way slowly down the stairs, thankful that this time at least, they only seemed to descend for about three flights. Reaching the bottom, she found herself in yet another grimy corridor, rife with dinginess and decay. This isn't going away… she thought grimly, tightening her hold on her service pistol, I've got to be getting closer.

Like the one up stairs, this corridor too was lined with doors… but here, each of the doors was trimmed with hand painted flowers – yellow and faded from years upon years of neglect – and small stickers reading 'girls rule' and 'daddy's girl' and 'little angel.'

"This looks like-"

"Hey Misato…"

The fine hairs on the back of Misato's neck stood up, and slowly, she turned to face one of the doors. "Hello, Amber…" she said softly, swallowing hard as she found the girl sitting on a horridly filthy version of her own bed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap and a far-off expression on her slack face. "What, ummm… what are you doing here, Amber?"

"I get it now," Amber whispered, staring past Misato at something unseen and, presumably, very difficult to behold. "I understand… why I'm still here when everyone else is gone."

Misato stepped into the room, taking a nervous look around as she came. The walls in the small room were covered with posters and magazine clippings, though they were barely clinging to the cracked and peeling wallpaper, and the rock stars and fashion advice they held could hardly be made out through the thick layer of dust and mould that was so pervasive in this place.

"Why is that, Amber?" Misato asked softly, carefully holstering her gun and trying to put herself between the girl and the door – just in case she tried to flee again.

"I get it now," Amber said again, staring up at the purple-haired woman with haunted, vacant eyes. "I'm the same as them," she managed, her voice fading to a wretched sob, "I'm not the only one walking around – you've seen them, right? Those… those things! I'm just like them, I'm…" abruptly, the girl sneezed... and blood began to run in a slow trickle from her right nostril. "I'm one of them, Misato… I just hadn't noticed it before."

Misato took an unconscious step backward as more blood seeped from the girl's nose, increasing in volume as she rose to her feet and held out her hands.

"Don't leave me," Amber entreated, taking an unsteady step forward. "It's so dark here, Misato… so dark and cold. Don't leave me here, ok? Save me… just… just save me – like you're saving Shinji, ok? Please…?"

"Amber…"

Misato stared in horror as more blood spilled from Amber's nose, flowing in an ever-thickening torrent until it had soaked the front of her shirt… though not a single drop touched the dusty floor the girl was standing on, nor did she leave any footprints behind as she took another shuffling step forward.

"Save me," Amber croaked, blinking rapidly as bloody tears began to well up in her eyes and course down her face. "Save me from them, Misato – you have to!"

"Don't touch me!"

It was too much. The sight of the shambling, blood-soaked apparition was just too much for Misato's overtaxed psyche to take. With a strangled cry, she turned and darted through the door, slamming it behind her and bracing her shoulder up against the wood. She screamed as the knob turned under her palm, the creature on the other side seeking to make its exit as horribly wet, desperate sobs echoed through the hall.

"Please!" the girl cried, her voice earthy and moist. "Help me – save me – help me – save me – Misato!! MISSSSAAAAATTTOOO!"

"I CAN'T!" Misato nearly shrieked, tears streaming down her face as the girl continued to sob. "I can't save you… God, I'm so sorry – I just CAN'T!!"

For what seemed like hours, Amber begged and banged on the door, sobbing that she was a good girl – that she didn't deserve this… that she would say anything, DO anything, if Misato would just help her – PLEASE help her.

"Please…?"

"I'm sorry…"

Finally… finally Amber's desperate pounding and screaming faded away into silence, leaving only Misato's harsh, miserable, broken sobs to fill the hallway.

**

The door to Amber's room clicked open, and slowly, Misato drew it open, unable to take the silence any more. The room, as she knew it would be… was empty. The posters on the wall, the makeup on the dresser, the hand-knitted throw at the foot of the bed – everything was exactly as she had seen it in Amber's room when she had been in her house.

And this is exactly how it will stay until her parents finally give up and change it, Misato thought sickly, God… I think I'm going to throw up.

Shaking her head, she turned to leave the desecrated room, but she came up short as she spotted a small, handwritten journal lying face open in front of the door.

It had not been there when she had come into the room.

"Trying to tell me something, Amber?" Misato managed weakly. "Alright… I couldn't save you, but I guess I can listen to what you have to say…"

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the journal and began to read.

5th August 2015

Babysat for Mr. Fletcher again today. When they got home, Mrs. Fletcher was screaming at him for no reason and he roared at her to shut up – right in front of me! I don't know what he does to deserve this, but it must be something. She's so mean to him – and Charlie!

Mr. Fletcher insists I call him Aaron

Misato turned the page, skipping over a few mundane entries.

7th August 2015

Babysat for Aaron because his wife wandered off again. He sounded angry when he called me to ask if I could do it. I don't blame him. He's so patient, and Charlie's a nice boy. He's got such good humour for his age. I mean, he's always polite and we always have fun playing Chutes and Ladders… but tonight, Mrs. Fletcher got home before Aaron. She came in and saw me playing with Charlie, and she started screaming right away. She called me a slut and a whore – everything. I tried to get her to calm down but she slapped me… right in front of Charlie! Thank God Aaron came home when he did. He dragged her off to his room and they yelled at each other for a good half hour while I held Charlie and got him to stop crying. Aaron took me home and said he was sorry that Charlie and I had to hear all that and explained what happened to Dad.

9th August 2015

Bumped into Aaron again while he was on patrol. He looked unhappy. I asked what was wrong and he told me that his wife's been screaming at him and Charlie and he even caught her trying to hit Charlie with a baseball bat. A BASEBALL BAT!! I don't understand what either of them did to deserve this. All Aaron ever does is look after his wife and son – and Charlie's so nice he'd never do anything to anyone!

When he drove me home, Aaron said thanks for listening and patted me on the hand.

…it felt nice.

13th August 2015

I just heard that Mrs. Fletcher's seeing a doctor. I hope it does her some good because it can't go like this. I feel sorry for Aaron. I've been thinking about him a lot lately.

5th November 2015

I bumped into Aaron today. He was really upset. He told me that his mother-in-law got a power of attorney and had his wife and Charlie come live with her. Aaron says that Edith's in need of professional help and he's already beginning to miss Charlie. I really felt sorry for him so I – God, I can't believe I actually did it! – I kissed him. It felt so wicked… I mean, he's a married man! But it felt so perfect – so right – I just couldn't help it. He asked if I wanted to go out with him tomorrow…

I said yes… oh, I feel so guilty! But I said yes…

14th November 2015

Went out with Aaron again, and this time we… I don't even know if I can write it! We… we did it – right there in his car! I was really nervous, but he was so gentle and nice about it. And he… he… taught me a few things…

I'm blushing. I never knew people did that kind of stuff. It was… kind of dirty, but he kept telling me how good it felt.

I'm so glad I could make him happy.

19th November 2015

Aaron gave me a ring today. It's really pretty. He told me it's really important to him and that I should look after it and never take it off. I wonder what it's for?

There were entries about how Fletcher was not able to spend time with Amber. Then:

31st November

I came by Aaron's house today. He was really mad that I came there in the day, but I hadn't heard anything from him in four days – I couldn't help it! I thought he was going to hit me but… but instead we… well, you know. After we were done, he told me that he wanted to see me tonight, and to make sure no one sees me leave the house – and to bring the ring with me. But I can't find it! I know it's around here somewhere. I know I had it when I was watching TV with Dad last night, because I was playing with it while we watched American Runner. Oh well, I'll find it before I leave, I guess, and I'm sure Aaron won't mind if I don't bring it tonight.

There's always tomorrow, right?

There were no more entries in the journal.

"There's always tomorrow," Misato whispered, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the ring the girl had so casually ignored. "Not always, Amber… not always."

She set the journal down with great care, sadness constricting her throat as she slowly slipped the ring onto her littlest finger. Glancing around the room, her eyes fell on something she had not seen before – a small, Mickey Mouse shaped TV with a DVD player sitting on top, located just inside the girl's closet. Both were plugged in, and much to Misato's surprise, came right on when she pushed the Power button.

"Another message, Amber?" Misato whispered to herself.

Kneeling in front of the small screen, she hit Play.

Headlights illuminated a park bench at night, the faint glare of light on glass clearly displaying that the view was taken from a police cruiser's surveillance camera. Amber Donnelly and Aaron Fletcher moved into the frame and sat down on the bench, Amber's right hand settling tentatively on Fletcher's knee as she offered him a hesitant smile. The couple leaned in, kissing deeply for several moments before Fletcher pulled back and whispered something into Amber's ear.

"You sure, Aaron?" asked Amber nervously, her voice sounding tinny and far away.

Fletcher nodded. "It'll be okay," he said, rising to his feet and shrugging as he started to walk away, "but…If you don't want to, I'll understand"

"Wait!"

Facing the camera, Fletcher's broad smile was clearly visible as Amber gave a reply too soft for the camera's mic to pick up. The camera showed the big man turn and scoop the girl into his arms, lifting her effortlessly into the air and carrying her off screen. There was no more visual data, but it did not take a genius to figure out what was happening. First there was the sound of a car door opening, then closing, followed by the soft rustling of fabric, several inarticulate gasps, grunts, and whimpers, and finally… a softly moaned 'Oh Aaron…!'

And then… silence as the image on the screen froze.

Misato pushed Eject with a shaking finger, wishing she could forget the note of pain-tainted ecstasy in the girl's final cry… but instead of opening, the DVD player whirred, and another image sprang into existence on the screen.

The front of Brookhaven Hospital could be seen through the front of the police cruiser's windshield. It was late at night again, and Fletcher looked agitated as he looked up and down the deserted streets before turning to Amber and slapping her across the face.

"Don't say a word," he warned, shaking with rage as the girl quickly nodded, her eyes wide with fear.

Out of the darkness, moving like a slinking, skulking stray dog came a man in a black suit and dark glasses. "You Fletcher?" the man asked in smooth, slightly accented English, his eyes darting everywhere behind his sunglasses.

"Yeah, I-"

"Nakamura," the man cut in, "Section Two."

"Pleased to meet you," Fletcher said, sounding wholly unconvincing.

"How much has this girl seen and why have you given her the code?" Nakamura demanded.

"Safe keeping you moron!" snapped Fletcher. "You just worry about your end of the deal – and watch your damn mouth… loose lips sink ships, or don't they teach you Japs that in grade school?"

"Aaron what's going on?" Amber asked timidly, shrinking back as men both rounded on her.

"Give me the ring," Fletcher said hotly, "now, you little bitch – I don't have time to play your fucking games!"

Amber looked absolutely crushed. "Aaron, I… I don't have it! I told you I-"

"I said now!"

Nakamura smiled thinly as the big man slapped the girl a second time. "Misplaced it, have you?" He drawled. "Well, the Commander won't be pleased. Best be sure you find it, Fletcher-san… ne?"

"Screw you," Fletcher snarled. "I'll have his damn package for him when he gets here – now get the fuck out of my face! …I've gotta take care of something."

Nakamura gave a shallow bow. "Of course," he said silkily, turning on his heel and striding off into the night.

Amber bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Aaron," she said brokenly, "I'll go home and find it, I swear! Just… Aaron… don't look at me like that… ok? Please…?"

Fletcher turned away from the camera, stepping between it and Amber, his huge frame entirely blocking the girl from view. Slowly, his massive hands came up, disappearing from the camera's line of sight.

He said nothing.

"Aa-aron… you're… you're hurting me! Aar-ERK!!"

From the camera's angle, Amber's feet could be seen swinging desperately from side to side several inches off the ground as harsh rasping sounds filled the air. Her small, still-childish fingers scrabbled for purchase on Fletcher's heavily muscled biceps, moving all over his arms and shoulders before clutching uselessly at his face.

After several minutes, the sounds grew weaker and weaker… and finally, the frantically dancing fingers slowed, then stopped, falling away as a last, rattling sob echoed through the night. Silence stole over the scene, broken only by a soft dripping sound as a trickle of urine ran down the girl's right leg and pattered onto the concrete.

As the camera stopped recording, a face could be seen peering through the bushes on the far side of the frame. Frozen in slack-jawed, horrified fascination… Shinji Ikari stared at the gruesome tableau before him, his already-haunted eyes now absolutely glazed with disgust, sorrow, weariness, and just the faintest hint… of understanding.

Numb, Misato sat and stared at the image, her head spinning with shock and pain at what she had just witnessed. God in Heaven, she thought faintly, pulling the ring off her finger and examining it closely, you died for this. You thought you had found love… but all you'd found was a sick, twisted man who's only interest was to hide this stupid bauble somewhere no one could find it. She swallowed with some difficulty, squinting as she noticed a faintly visible string of letters and numbers etched into the ring's tiny band.

"All for this…"

It must have been Fletcher's car, she realized, that had run the Commander off the road. Probably driven by Nakamura… though what the two were hoping to gain from the man's death, she was not positive.

Probably thought they could get the money without having to live up to their half of the deal, she reasoned, Nakamura certainly seemed the type – I knew him back in Tokyo-3. God… Tokyo-3. Even with the angels, that place is ten times – no, a HUNDRED times better than this nightmare.

Misato ran a hand through her hair. "Amber," she whispered, "I couldn't save you… but if it's any consolation, I DID avenge you. I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to know you before… before this place. You didn't deserve this… you were a good girl."

There's nothing more I can offer right now, Misato told herself, slipping the ring back on to her finger and rising to her feet as the TV suddenly went dark. Shinji… Ritsuko… Maya… they're still alive, and we're leaving here together, damn it!

She thought back to the day she met Shinji, and the time they had subsequently spent together. How many mistakes did she make? Not allowing Shinji to grow up, reprimanding him without any real justification, having Asuka move in, the indifferent attitude she developed, her inaction to the whole situation and the fact she barely took her responsibilities as a guardian seriously… so many errors in judgement – and she had thought it would be so easy to care for him.

Misato sighed. It is not easy knowing that you could have made a difference. If she had actually been clearer with Shinji about her feelings and actually been more responsible, she knew – without question – that the outcome would have been different. Misato was hardly a mother, but wasn't that what she was trying to set herself up as? Just how much misery did she cause with her selfishness and irresponsibility?

The woman shook her head and decided then and there that the very second she found Shinji she was going to tell him how she felt and that she was sorry about not being open with him. Then she would apologize for all the suffering she had caused him in the name of revenge, and get down on her knees and BEG him to forgive her.

And if he says yes, Misato thought, turning away from the TV and heading out of the room, maybe I'll even try to get to know Rei. I've never made much of an attempt to be anything more than a co-worker… maybe all she needs is a friend. And Asuka… She paused, taking a deep breath as she gently closed Amber's door, If she wakes up – WHEN she wakes up, I mean – I'll give her the choice of living with us or finding her own place. If she says no… well… I guess I can live with that, but no matter what she chooses, she's getting an apology too.

"It's time to change," she whispered firmly, heading off down the hallway, "No matter what, I won't hurt any of them any more."

This, she realized, was all because of her irresponsibility and blatant disregard for what other people wanted. She kept on telling them what she THOUGHT they should want instead of trying to find out their hopes and dreams. All this time, she had put up so many walls to keep herself from being hurt… and yet, how much hurt had she caused as a result?

Yes, she decided, opening the door at the end of the hallway to find yet another stairway, it was definitely time for all this to stop…

**

Misato crept carefully into the huge, dark room she had found at the bottom of the stairs. Her rifle was clutched firmly in her hands, and her eyes darted everywhere, trying to cover all the angles. She moved cautiously, because she was positive that she had heard raised voices through the thick, metal door… but she could not see anything in the darkness.

Place is like a freezer, she thought, shivering slightly as she glanced around at the tall poles running from the floor to the ceiling. What is something like this doing here? Oh wait… I guess that's a stupid question, isn't it? I mean… I'm in HELL, right? Why should anything be normal?

She glanced at the far side of the room, where a row of what looked suspiciously like the types of doors one might find in a morgue dominated the entire wall.

Super, she thought darkly, wishing the poles did not block QUITE so much of her line of sight.

Stepping around one of the beams, she caught her breath. "Ritsuko…?"

The blonde was lying on her back in the centre of the room, her shotgun several feet away from her limp, open hand. The middle of her forehead was red and swollen, as if something large had slammed into it – possibly more than once.

There was no one else in sight.

"Ritsuko!"

Hurrying forward, intent on her friend, Misato never saw the blow coming.

"Raaahhh!!!"

"Hunh!"

Something big and heavy hammered into Misato's side, numbing her right arm and sending the rifle to the floor in a clatter of metal on concrete.

"Your ass is mine, you fucking SLUT!!"

Misato cried out in pain as her back slammed into one of the support beams, the momentum of the charge knocking all the breath from her as a triumphant howl rang out in the big room.

"Yeah! Fucking hurts doesn't it!" a man's voice shouted with glee, "Well getting a shotgun blast in the chest ain't no goddamned walk in the park either – but I learned my lesson. I'm not taking anymore chances with you. Say goodnight."

Dazed, disoriented, and in terrible pain, Misato could only think of one thing.

Escape.

Without thinking, she dropped to the floor and rolled to her left, a huge boom echoing over her head as something solid banged into the pole precisely where her head had been a moment before.

"You're not going ANYWHERE!" the man (Fletcher! It's FLETCHER!!) roared. "Payback's a bitch, and she wants to give you a guided tour of painville – population: you!"

Misato scrambled to her feet and staggered behind one of the poles as another boom dominated the room. "F-fucker," she gasped, "you killed her – you killed that poor little girl!!"

"Shit happens," Fletcher shot back, clicking off another round with his Python, "stupid little whore should have brought the damn ring – then none of this would have happened!"

"She trusted you," Misato shouted, diving to the next closest pole in an attempt to get closer to Ritusko's prone form. "She LOVED YOU!!"

The reply made her blood run cold.

"Her mistake." There was a moment of quiet, then Fletcher whispered, "She should have just brought me the stupid ring… it didn't have to be this way."

Misato eased her handgun from its holster. "You actually cared for her," she said softly, risking a glance around the pole – and nearly losing her head as a bullet crashed into the beam.

"Yeah, she was a good kid," Fletcher agreed, "but my family is what I'm in this for. We had some fun… I taught her a few things – that was it. This was always about Charlie…" abruptly, his voice took on a softer tone, "God he loved her. He would always ask 'when's Amber coming to-' you know what? Just shut up and die! This is none of your fucking business anyway!"

Misato flinched as two more rounds slammed into the beam. She knew telling Fletcher that she had seen Amber was pointless… he wouldn't believe her, and even if he did, it wouldn't matter. In his eyes, Amber was dead. Period.

And if he had his way, Misato would be joining her soon.

"I have the ring!" she shouted, hoping Fletcher did not decide to finish Ritsuko while she was defenceless. "I'll give it to you if you-"

"How about I just pry it off your dead finger?"

Misato gasped as Fletcher's voice whispered less than a foot from her ear. She dove forward, crying out in pain as the man reached out to grab her, catching a handful of her long hair and yanking it out by the roots.

"Ooo a souvenir," Fletcher laughed, striding after the woman as she staggered and fell. "You know, for all the shit you've put me through, I should make this hurt – a lot. But I'm tired, so I'll just blow your fucking brains ok, alright? Alright."

Misato whipped her gun around and fired… but Fletcher was too close. His right hand shot out, slapping the weapon away as the hammer fell.

"A for effort!" the man said, grinning wickedly, "I like your spirit."

"GUHH!!"

Misato grunted, the pistol flying from her hand as Fletcher's fist pounded into her abdomen. Stars flashed in front of her eyes and she fell back, her head rebounding off one of the metal doors on the wall. N…no… she thought, her hazy mind filling with fear as Fletcher dropped his gun and wrapped his huge hands around her throat, lifting her from the floor. A-Amber… I guess… I guess I didn't avenge you… a-after all…

"Now that's more like it," Fletcher sighed, tightening his hold on Misato's throat as the woman choked and tried to lash out at him. "That's right," he whispered, the madness in his eyes now unmistakable as he leaned in close to the woman, "give me all you got… try to get that air going. Not working, is it? Man, it must suck to die this way… all those things you didn't get done… all those plans you'll never see through to completion… all those people you're letting down – like your friend over there." Misato's eyes widened and she redoubled her efforts as Fletcher laughed. "Now, I'm not usually into forcing women into shit, you know? I usually figure, hey, if they want something, they'll ask for it… like Amber, actually, but your friend over there is looking mighty tempting, Major – you ARE a major, right? Well Major, I think I might have a little fun with her before I snap her pretty little neck – what do you think of that?"

Misato was beyond hearing. No more, she thought dimly, wondering who was making those horrible choking sounds, I won't let you hurt me, or anyone any MORE!! Do you understand!?! Amber, if you can hear me… this is the most I can do for you…

Fletcher grunted as Misato's hand shot out and grabbed the handle on the small door to their right, yanking it open and slamming it into the side of his head. "Heh," he chuckled, blinking as a trickle of blood ran into his eye, "nice try…"

Keeping her throat tightly in one hand, Fletcher grabbed her arm and slammed it against the metal door, grinning as the woman let out a mewling whimper.

"Now wha-"

With the last of her strength, Misato pistoned her left hand forward and drove her cross pendant into Fletcher's eye.

"AHHH!!!" Fletcher howled with rage, clutching his face with both hands and letting Misato slip to the floor. "My eye!!" he screamed, "You put out my fucking EYE!!!"

Misato, lacking the strength to stand, started to crawl towards her gun. Just… a little… further… she thought, coughing harshly as she drew deep, sweet lungfuls of air.

"I don't THINK SO!!"

Pain exploded in her back as Fletcher's boot came crashing down on her spine.

"Die!" the man hollered. "Die! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!"

Again and again, the boot came down, battering Misato's back, thighs, shoulders and buttocks, somehow finding her no matter how she tried to roll or crawl away. Then, her movement was brought to a halt as Fletcher's boot settled against the back of her neck.

For a long moment, only the sound of their ragged, harsh breathing could be heard… until Fletcher grated, "Enjoy Hell."

Misato groaned desperately as the boot was lifted, knowing that the killing blow was less than a second away… but she did not apologize any more. I gave it all I had, you guys, she thought, closing her eyes and picturing her friends with a tired smile, I really… really did. You believe me, don't y-

A terrible screeching sound pierced the air, rattling the entire room.

"What the… NO!! NO GET OFF ME!!!"

Misato opened her eyes, lifting her battered head as Fletcher began screaming.

"GET THE FUCK OFF MEEEEE!!!"

From one of the little doors in the wall… a mass of dull gray, leathery arms was sprouting like a tenacious weed, writhing all over as they blindly sought sustenance. Two of them, Misato noticed belatedly, had wrapped around Fletcher's waist, and were slowly pulling him towards the dark opening.

"Get off me!" Fletcher roared, pulling ineffectually at the arms. "Get the fuck off me you motherfucker!!"

Still gasping for breath, Misato staggered to her feet.

"Help me!!"

She flinched as Fletcher called out to her… but after a moment of silence she simply limped over to Ritsuko and began shaking her awake.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!!" Fletcher raged. "I'll kill you! I'll fucking KILL YOU!!!"

Misato managed to get the still-groggy head of Project E to her feet, slinging her arm over her shoulder and starting towards the door. "Enjoy Hell."

"AHHH!!! FUCK Y-"

Misato tried to move faster as Fletcher's scream was cut off by a sickening, mind-numbing crunch. It sounded, Misato decided, like an entire truckload of eggs getting sucked into a jet engine. Pure, utter annihilation.

"M-Misato!" Ritsuko coughed as they neared the exit. "Look!!"

Risking a glance over her shoulder, but avoiding looking at the door Fletcher had just been drawn through, Misato caught a fleeting glimpse of a girl in a high-school uniform. She was clean and fresh and glowing, as if she had just stepped out of the shower, and her hair was tied back in a ponytail with a simple, red bow. She caught Misato's eye… and a soft smile spread over her pretty features, taking the operations director's breath away with its simplicity and honest, uninhibited gratitude.

The girl raised her hand in a brief wave… and disappeared as if she had never been.

"Come on," Ritsuko urged, "Maya's with me, but we got separated when Fletcher jumped me and shoved me in here… we have to find her!"

"R-right," Misato managed, pulling her eyes away from where the girl had been.

Goodbye, Amber, she thought sadly. God rest your soul…

Together, she and Ritsuko hurried out of the room.

**

Maya, it turned out, was hiding in the very next room, clutching a rusted butcher knife – which very nearly found its way into Ritsuko's chest as the tech cried, "Oh, Sempai!!" and ran to greet her superior.

"Watch it with that thing!" Ritsuko shouted, catching the younger woman's wrist and forcing the knife downward before it could gut her.

"S-sorry," Maya panted, "I... when we ran in that… that man, I just panicked. Major!" she gasped as she beheld Misato's bruised features. "What… happened?"

"Payback's a bitch," Misato whispered enigmatically, "and I guess she has a sense of humour."

Maya and Ritsuko exchanged a glance as the operations director knelt on the floor and tried to catch her breath.

"We ummm… thought we could help if we came in with you," Ritsuko said after a moment's hesitation, "you shouldn't have left without us, Misato."

"Sorry," Misato apologized, "I just… I thought I'd have found him by now. I just – I KNEW he was in he-"

"We're close to wherever Shinji is…" Ritsuko interjected softly. "Definitely…" When Misato looked at her questioningly, Ritsuko elaborated.

"Listen, everyone here has had some connection to Shinji. Misato, you were his guardian and his commanding officer… I was the chairperson of the project Shinji became a part of… Maya was a colleague of Shinji's, and the Commander was his father and the commander of NERV…"

"Amber was a girl Shinji befriended," Misato nodded, "and Fletcher… well…" reluctantly, she explained what had happened to Amber and what she had seen on those DVD in her room.

"Could all this have something to do with Shinji?" asked Maya.

"Could be," Misato conceded, "I mean, Alicia definitely has some involvement in this – look at how often she talks about Shinji and all the things we did to him? Yeah, this is ALL about him… somehow. I just don't know how, yet."

"Well," Ritsuko said quietly, "I guess it's about time we found that out, isn't it?"

All three women nodded in agreement, moving without another word to the end of the hall and pushing open the door… to nowhere.

TBC


	15. Always Time for One Last Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final conclusion of Where Darkness Falls

Chapter 12 – Always Time for One Last Goodbye

As Misato, Ritsuko and Maya walked through yet another of the seemingly endless corridors in the labyrinthine house, Misato turned to Maya, appraising her thoughtfully for a moment before commenting, "You know, there's one thing I don't understand..."

"Just one?" Ritsuko murmured, wishing very much that there were more firearms to go around. A rifle, a handgun, and one shotgun – since I dropped mine – just doesn't seem like enough firepower to fend off half of the demons in Hell...

"Well," Misato said slowly, ignoring the other woman's sarcastic response, "I don't... really understand why Maya's here at all. She hasn't done anything... has she?"

Maya sighed as Ritsuko turned her analytical green eyes on her. "Nothing is exactly what I did," she said quietly. "I never really bothered to try to get to know Shinji, and I never even stood up to the Commander, so-"

"You're not alone on that," Ritsuko cut her off gently, "none of us really did – Shinji's the only one that ever really came close."

"But the dummy plug," Maya whispered, averting her eyes, "I could've stopped that, if I'd had the courage. I could have been the one who... who showed him that he meant something..." Maya trailed off, quickly wiping at her eyes as she remembered the incident with the thirteenth angel.

"Nothing can change what happened, Maya," Ritsuko replied softly, nodding as Misato motioned to a closed door, "I mean look at me – I barely bothered to get to know him, and while he was at NERV... my treatment of him was more like a lab rat than a person."

"But you did care enough to bring him with you," Misato chipped in, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "That has to count for something."

"Does it?" Ritsuko said seriously, "I thought everything could be rationalized and everything could be explained with logic and reason... but that was an illusion – a justification to help me sleep at night when I knew damn well what I was doing was causing harm. So tell me, does one little act of kindness negate all the wrong I've done?"

Misato shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted, "but look at me. I was even worse than the Commander while Shinji lived with me. Sure, we had a little bit of a false start, especially after I reprimanded him over that business with the fourth Angel... but after he came back, he was starting to really get casual about expressing his feelings." She sighed. "Until Asuka moved in, that is, then-"

"You had good intentions Major..." Maya cut in, "you cared about him."

Shaking her head, Misato murmured, "No, what I cared about was keeping track of all the tools I could use to get revenge against the angels. I didn't care about what any of the Children wanted." She sighed once more, peering carefully through the door she was standing in front of before continuing. "Asuka would slap him and insult him in every way. Every morning I could hear her shouting 'Make my breakfast!' at Shinji... and I didn't do anything to stop it. Everything he accomplished while he lived alone with me was flushed down the toilet in a matter of weeks, and I just sat by and pretended it wasn't my concern – that it would be good for him to stand up for himself every now and then."

The other women nodded silently as the operations director took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to regain her composure.

"I gave her so many reasons to resent both of us," she whispered, "but the worst of them all, the one that got me in this place, if there was one single thing... was that I told Shinji that he was the best in front of Asuka, pretending I was proud of him."

"What do you mean?" asked Maya, confused, "You... I was there when you told him that – you... I thought you were sincere."

Misato shook her head. "I never really...was...all that proud," she admitted, "not then, anyway. The relationship between me and Asuka deteriorated because I wasn't trying to help her – I was trying to make her...more like me, I guess. Anyone would resent that. Kaji and I renewing our relationship was the last straw even then all I ever did was make things worse and I constantly fell back into the role of my superior as I did with Shinji. I may even have played a major result in Asuka's breakdown." Misato admitted "I even ran away from Shinji in more subtle ways..."

Misato cut herself off as another wave of heat washed over them.

\- - - - -

"Hey, Henry," the man with Fletcher's face said nervously, "Where are we??"

Misato, Maya, and Ritsuko watched in stunned silence as a somehow blurry group of five men made their way down the now-grimy corridor – one of them passing right through Maya without breaking stride.

"I have no idea," the man Misato recognized as Alicia's father snapped, "But I told you that damn Jap was hiding something! This place is huge... he's probably got bombs or something down here, so watch your step..."

Unseen behind the group, a figure with long, dark hair calmly picked its way through the dingy dark, absently flicking a cigarette lighter with one hand as the other slowly upended a can of gasoline, leaving a long, damp trail all the way down the hall.

\- - - - -

Misato gasped as the world spun around them, and suddenly the trio was standing at the top of a staircase that went downwards, beckoning them forward with its inky blackness. All three were panting and out of breath, their bloodstreams coursing with adrenaline at what they had just seen.

"W-what is she?" Misato gasped.

"I don't know," Ritsuko replied, wiping sweat from her brow. "I just... I don't know..."

"Could she be an... an angel?" Maya asked almost timidly.

"Could be," Ritsuko admitted, "but I don't think so. I..." she trailed off as a tentative, stealthy footstep sounded from somewhere behind them.

"In here!" Misato hissed, herding the other two into one of the side rooms and quietly closing the door until it was open just a crack.

Well how do you like THAT? she thought, wetting her lip as a very familiar form made its way carefully down the hall. Must be my lucky day.

Grimly, she raised her rifle to eye-level, waiting until the figure neared the door before flinging it open.

"Hello Commander," she said, taking great pleasure in seeing the man's expression sour, "drop your gun...now."

Gendou dropped his weapon, pursing his lips as Ritsuko quickly scooped it up. "Major," he muttered coolly, "Doctor Akagi, what a... 'pleasant' surprise."

"Fancy meeting you here, Commander," Ritsuko said with a smirk. "It really is a small world, isn't it?"

Gendou simply glared at her. "Indeed it is," he muttered, "first that American woman, now you. It really wouldn't surprise me if I ran into Mister Kaji in this place."

Misato blinked. "Hey," she said quickly, "you said 'that American woman.' Did you meet Alicia too?"

"Oh, so you know her," Gendou said blandly, "why does that seem so appropriate?"

"What did she say?" Misato asked eagerly, nudging the man with the barrel of the rifle when he continued staring at her with a small, sardonic smile. "Come on, talk!"

"Temper, Major," the Commander muttered, his grin fading slightly as he noticed the tremor in the woman's grip.

Quietly, he recounted to them his experiences with the strange, dark-haired woman, choosing to leave out the parts involving the bodily harm she had caused him and trying to think of a way to turn his current situation to his advantage.

"Well now that was illuminating," Ritsuko said, thoughtfully tapping her forefinger on her upper lip, "I think I understand now..."

"What?" Misato asked curiously, taking a step back from the Commander, but keeping her rifle trained on him at all times.

"About Alicia and about Shinji's disappearance," Ritsuko clarified. "I think Alicia might be keeping Shinji somewhere here and – and if you think about it, her reasons are pretty obvious." She continued, lowering her voice and speaking mostly to herself as she completed the puzzle in her mind. "But if she thinks Shinji would return to the life he had before he came here, I doubt very much she would hand him over. Hmm..."

"This is irrelevant," Gendou mutterd darkly, "our priority should be to-"

"With all due respect will you just shut up?!" Misato snapped, brandishing the rifle menacingly as the Commander calmly stared her down.

"Don't you understand Gendou?" Ritsuko whispered, blushing as she realized she had accidentally called him by his first name. "Shinji has everything to do with what's going on here. He is the only thing relevant!" She rubbed the bridge of her nose, quietly asking, "Why do you think Alicia keeps talking about Shinji? Honestly... how can you not see it?"

For the first time any of the women could remember, Gendou was silent – and not because he knew more than they did.

"God, talking to him is a waste of time," Misato said flatly. "Come on – we're going down."

Gendou's jaw clenched as the woman stepped behind him, planting the barrel of her weapon firmly in the middle of his back.

"After you, Commander."

\- - - - -

They descended the stairs in silence, keeping their thoughts to themselves as the darkness grew thicker and thicker, swallowing the light from their flashlights until only the narrowest of beams cut the blackness. After what seemed like an eternity, they arrived at some type of landing, casting around for any signs of a wall... but there was only darkness, making each one of them feel small and insignificant.

"Kind of reminds me of the twelfth angel," Maya commented, jumping slightly at how loud her voice sounded. "Sorry," she whispered as the others stared at her.

"Look," Ritsuko breathed, squinting at a tiny dot of light in the distance. "What do you think?"

"I think it's the only thing around for miles," Misato whispered back, "literally. So... I guess we have no choice."

Slowly, they made their way towards the speck of light, their silence now enforced by the fear of what might be waiting for them in that little oasis. There was a collective gasp, however, as the indistinct form resolved itself into a lone, white-sheeted bed with a single, naked bulb hanging over it.

And lying on the bed, seemingly deep in sleep, was none other than Shinji Ikari.

"Shinji!!"

The foursome stood transfixed as a woman with long, dark hair materialized out of the darkness, calmly sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out to gently brush the hair off of Shinji's forehead.

"He won't respond to you," Alicia said serenely, keeping her eyes on the boy's peaceful face as she addressed the group. "I must admit, though, I am impressed that you made it this far. Well done, Miss Katsuragi... well done indeed."

"What have you done to him?" Ritsuko demanded sharply, trying to angle for a better look at Shinji.

"Shhh," Alicia replied, smiling warmly down at the boy, "he's dreaming."

"Why?" Misato asked hesitantly, taking a hesitant step. "Why are you doing all of this?"

Alicia said nothing for a moment, continuing to stroke Shinji's hair in silence before finally whispered, "It's been 75 years, Miss Katsuragi... 75 long, long years since that day..."

Misato shivered. "It... it was you in that picture," she breathed.

"Yes..." Alicia replied, nodding minutely as her face fell into a sad frown. "Me and the man I loved. His name was also Shinji..." Her eyes took on a hazy, far-off look as her hand slowed and finally stopped on the sleeping boy's forehead. "He was murdered because he was Japanese. It was a dark time, full of hate and mistrust... but his only crime was being born in a foreign country. I cried every single day for what happened to him – and for being unable to stop it – and I cursed God, swearing that somehow... someway, I would find a way to set my Shinji's soul at peace."

The group waited in breathless silence as Alicia trailed off, slowly bringing her eyes back up to meet Misato's as she continued. "But then," she whispered coolly, "God felt the suffering of this boy – a boy who was exploited in the most inexcusable manner possible for the selfish reasons of those above him. A boy hurt by everyone in his life because they saw him as nothing but a tool, a means to an end. After the fourth Angel all the progress he made while living alone with someone who was supposed to be his guardian..." Alicia snapped her fingers, making everyone jump. "Gone, just like that. He was just starting to feel accepted, Miss Katsuragi, but after Asuka moved in, all that progress was slowly, inescapably taken away from him."

"I... tried," Misato said softly, finally finding her voice as the woman trailed off once more. "I tried to be a good-"

"You're still lying to yourself?" Alicia cut in softly. "Even after everything that's happened... you can stand there, straight-faced, and tell me that you tried...?"

Ashamed, Misato averted her eyes.

Alicia's eyes slid over to Gendou. "And you," she murmured, her lips quirking down at the corners. "Offering up your own flesh and blood in the vain hope of taking the angels' place at the right hand of God – how audacious... how utterly pretentious of you to assume that you could aspire to godhood."

Gendou cleared his throat, his eyes hard and flat as he rumbled, "The Dead Sea Scrolls-"

Alicia interrupted with a laugh. "Fool," she hissed, "the prophecies of the Dead Sea Scrolls are false!"

Taken aback by the contempt in the woman's voice, the Commander fell silent.

"You were about to interfere with the natural order of everything," Alicia whispered, her voice low and full of disgust. "What is contained in those scrolls is not another evolutionary step for humanity but simply another false ideal – Humanity's evolution is not at a dead end, it simply does not move as fast as you and your SEELE associates wish it would. The true ascension of Man is still thousands of years away... or did you truly believe that a single consciousness – the absolute loss of all that makes mankind unique and beautiful – was the be-all and end-all of our existence?"

In the ensuing silence, Maya slowly raised her hand. "Ummm... ex-excuse me?" she said meekly, drawing all eyes to her. "Umm... if this isn't about... about the scrolls," she said slowly, feeling very self conscious as everyone stared at her, "what... what is this all about, ma'am? Why are we all here?"

Alicia tilted her head. "You honestly don't know?" she said, her voice gentle and holding just the faintest bit of pity. When Maya shook her head, Alicia sighed. "There is a... resonance, between your Shinji and mine," she said quietly. "An echo of unjust suffering that ties them together in ways only gods can see. The god of this place felt it the moment Shinji set foot in this town, and he woke me from my long sleep to grant me the task of making sure all of you faced up to the sins you have committed against him. All of you have that disgusting mentality of 'it wasn't me,' and God told me that until you have owed up to your responsibilities, your torment will be unending."

She turned to them one by one, unflinchingly naming their sins for all to hear.

"Miss Katsuragi... you hardly ever took your responsibilities as a guardian seriously. Looking after children is a very big responsibility, yet you reprimanded without justification and you never really understood that he, Rei, and Asuka were the ones out there risking their lives and giving everything they had while you sat safe and secure in the command centre. You continually prodded and twisted his emotions, using him any way you saw fit in order to satisfy your own personal hatred."

"Doctor Akagi... you barely took any notice of him except on a professional basis, and even then you treated him as an experiment to be studied and psychologically dissected. You spent so much time walking your mother's path and deluding yourself into believing that Gendou loved you when deep in your hear you knew that you were just a pawn and, when he permitted it, somebody to warm his bed. In one way it was admirable that you were trying to surpass your mother... but you spent more time trying to surpass her as a scientist when you could have easily surpassed her as a woman."

"Miss Ibuki... though your sins were comparatively small, you still did your share of harm by doing nothing at all. Your inaction hardly becomes a woman whose courage runs as deep as yours. You assisted your Sempai in eluding capture when an entire highly-trained division of security officers was hunting her, helping her avoid capture when you knew full well the consequences of your actions... yet when Shinji was in agony, and you held the power to help him at your fingertips, you did nothing. Harming another for pleasure is the definition of evil, but allowing someone you know and care for to be hurt out of fear for your own position is almost as bad."

"And you..." Alicia's nostrils flared as she turned to Gendou. "Committing unforgivable sins in the name of salvation and love – what would your wife say if she could see you now? Your actions have disgraced and degraded her sacrifice. She gave her very life for her son, not you, and that... angered you. You hated her for giving herself away, not because she left you alone, but because she chose to do it for him. You could not stand the idea that her love for a mere child was stronger than her love for you... so you transferred your hate for her onto him, abandoning-"

"I loved her," Gendou interrupted, unable to remain silent any longer. "Yui was everything to me – that is why-"

"Mister Ikari," Alicia cut in flatly. "You hated Yui."

"I did not!" Gendou raged, his composure slipping as Alicia ignored him and kept talking.

"You hated Yui because she wanted to raise a family and you didn't...you hated her because she was loved by everyone...you hated her because she surpassed you as a scientist and as a person, and you hated her because she made the sacrifice for her son and not for you! All you know is hate, Mister Ikari... it's all you've ever known."

Gendou's fists clenched, but his anger was so complete that it held his tongue.

"That is the real reason you're doing all of this," Alicia said levelly. "Abandoning your son... changing the 'scenario'... doing everything you could to bring Yui back, even though she willingly sacrificed herself to provide her son a surer future. Now tell me, Mister Ikari... do you honestly still believe that Yui would forgive you for all you've done? Did you really think that after drawing all of mankind unwillingly into one being that she would welcome you with open arms and-"

"Shut up!"

So intent were the three women on paying attention to Alicia's warnings and condemnations that they had entirely forgotten that the Commander was a creative, dangerous man. Ritsuko barely had time to gasp as Gendou dropped to the ground and swept her legs out from under her, sending her onto her back with a startled cry and wrenching the shotgun from her numb hands.

Without pausing to get up, Gendou brought the shotgun around and pulled the trigger, catching Alicia off-guard and sending a full load of double-ought buckshot into her stomach.

Alicia blinked, glancing down at the gaping hole in her midsection. "Why Mister Ikari," she said almost conversationally, "that was most... rude..." She frowned as she felt a soft tug in the pit of her ruined stomach. "M... my lord...?"

Misato's eyes widened as instead of blood, thick, black fluid began oozing from the wound, spreading in every direction in clear defiance of the laws of gravity. "What the...?"

"N-no, my lord," Alicia gasped, holding her stomach and shaking her head from side to side, "Don't. I can... please, let me finish this, I can- ahhhh!!"

"God," Maya gasped, covering her mouth as the dark-haired woman doubled over, the flesh on her back rippling as if something was trying to get out. "What's happening to her??"

Alicia's face contorted in pain. "H-he's coming..." she gasped, "s-sorry... t- tried to... k-keep him in... sor... ry..."

"Who?!" Misato demanded, her eyes riveted to the horror unfolding in front of her, "Who's coming, Alicia!?"

The woman looked up at her, barely managing to gasp, "Sa...mael..."

All at once, her cry of pain became a deafening roar as blood red mist exploded from the wound, entirely surrounding her. All four of the NERV people stepped back, glancing around nervously as the darkness all around them suddenly shifted, cutting off every avenue of retreat and leaving them in a forty by forty room with endlessly tall stone walls.

"What is that?" Maya moaned, backing up until she hit one of the walls. "WHAT IS THAT??"

The mist slowly dissipated, leaving a nightmare standing where Alicia had been. Twelve-feet tall, with leathery, six-foot wings, the creature regarded them all with three, burning green eyes. Its skin was a dull, reddish brown – like a piece of meat left to rot in the sun for a day or two – and all of its long, almost delicate fingers were tipped with razor- sharp talons, looking as if they could tear the flesh from a man's bones with minimal effort on their owner's behalf.

Misato summed up everyone's thoughts in one, single, eloquent word.

"Fuck."

"Everybody down!" Ritsuko shouted, following her own advice as a bolt of red lightening shot from the creature's third eye, raking the wall she had been standing in front of less than a second before.

Misato whipped her rifle up and opened fire, catching the thing in the shoulder with one of the heavy rounds and making it stagger. "Yes!!"

"Oh, no – Major look out!!"

Before she could react, Misato found herself being tackled by Maya... and as she hit the ground, she saw another bolt of the same, red lightning tear through the space she had just vacated. "Th-thanks," she gasped.

A heavy boom sounded from the other side of the room, signalling Gendou's entry into the fray.

"Hit it again!" Ritsuko cried, scrambling to her feet and hurrying to Misato's side to help the woman up. "Come on! Don't let up!"

Misato drew the bolt on the rifle as Gendou pumped the shotgun, and together, they opened fire once more, making the monster shriek as the lead hammered its body... but no matter how many rounds they sent into it, the holes simply closed back up, and much to Maya's horror, she noticed that it was getting faster.

"Wuff!"

"Sempai!"

Misato dropped to one knee as two bolts of lightning sizzled past her on the right. "Ritsuko!" she called. "You alive??"

"T-think so," the blonde gasped, clutching her smoking chest, "Can't... take another one, though..."

"Give me a solution!" Misato demanded. Blinking as the creature folded its wings around its body and went entirely motionless. "Oh, this can't be good..."

They watched in silence as energy began to crackle all around the creature, building to an obviously violent crescendo. "Damn it," Gendou snarled, throwing the shotgun to the ground after one final, ineffectual shot. "I'm out."

And I've only got three rounds left, Misato thought grimly, maybe my handgun...? No – not a chance that thing will-

"Look at the floor!"

Misato glanced down, frowning as she spotted a glowing pattern on the stony ground. "A star...?"

"M-Major?" Maya said hesitantly, flinching as the crackling around the monster grew more pronounced. "I've... I might have an idea."

"Well?" Misato demanded, never taking her eyes off the creature, "Spit it out, woman!"

"But I might be wrong!" Maya protested, wiping sweat from her brow as she helped Ritsuko to her feet. "What if-"

"We're out of time!" Misato roared. "If you know something, tell me!!"

"It's... if it's electric," Maya said hesitantly, "maybe we could... could ground it or something. We just need something metal to-"

"Wait!" Misato cried, snatching the little sheriff's star off of her jacket. "Wait..."

Everyone fell silent as the woman stared at the little tin star, turning it over and over in her hands. It's... why didn't I notice how heavy it was? she thought, slowly looking from the toy star to the one on the floor, and it's not a sheriff's star – it's got six points. God, I just realized – Fletcher never took it off, even though he wasn't on duty when all of this got started! It must be impor-

"Too late!!"

Instinctively, Misato thrust the star forward like a shield, screaming as the creature unleashed an enormous bolt of lightning. Time seemed to stand still as the bolt raced towards her, leaving Misato's overtaxed mind a fraction of a second to contemplate all that she could have done differently. Then the moment was over, and the bolt was slamming into her.

Or rather... the bolt was slamming into the star.

"MY GOD!"

Misato was only vaguely aware of Ritsuko's startled cry. Most of her attention was focused on the buzzing sound in her head and the unbearable burning in her fingertips. She tried to drop the star, Burning – it's burning me!! but she could not will her hand to open. Somewhere between her brain and her muscles, something had shut down or shorted out, leaving her no choice but to stand rooted to the spot and endure the pain.

"AAhhhh!!"

Finding her voice once more, Misato screamed, tears streaming down her face as the massive bolt of lightning somehow – impossibly – bounced off of the star and rebounded back to its sender, slamming into the creature and hurling it back into the wall twenty feet behind it.

"Major!" Maya's voice reached Misato through the noise and pain that dominated her mind. "Its third eyes – shoot its third eye!!"

Groggily, Misato dropped the star and brought her rifle up, pulling the trigger as the creature shook itself and tried to stand.

boom!

The first shot went high and wide, smashing into the wall behind the creature. Misato shook her head, chambering another round and quickly taking aim.

boom!

Again, the bullet went high and wide... but this time, the creature managed to rise to its feet, its eyes burning with rage as it folded its wings around itself once more.

"Major, it's going to do it again!"

Daddy, Misato thought desperately, drawing the bolt back and bringing her last bullet into the breach. Help me, Daddy... please...

"Misato," Ritsuko screamed, "Get down!!"

Daddy...

boom!

Everyone held their breath as Misato fell to her knees, letting the rifle clatter to the floor... but all three of the creature's eyes burned bright and unharmed as it threw its head back and let out a shriek of triumph, the lightning coiling and writhing around its body like a living cloak.

Then, in the span of a breath, Maya released her superior and dove forward, snatching the star from where Misato had let it fall and hurling it with all her strength towards the creature's open mouth.

Silence fell with the rapidity of a thunderclap as the tiny star whizzed through the air and buried itself neatly in the back of the creature's throat, slicing through the lightening as if it did not exist. Immediately, the monster began shuddering and thrashing, trying desperately to loose the projectile from its skin... but even as it tried, the flesh around the star began to smoke and peel, pulling back as the creature jerked and danced, letting out rough, bird-like caws of pain.

"NO!!"

The faint hope that this might be over were dashed from Misato's mind as the walls around them erupted into flames, the stone burning impossibly hot and making her sweat – even from fifteen feet away... but she could not help smiling vindictively as the creature pitched forward onto its face, giving one final shudder before going still.

"Sayonara, motherfucker..." she whispered.

"Major! Sempai!" Maya called, coughing into her fist as she glanced around, her eyes wide and terrified. "Commander...? What can we do!?"

Gendou shook his head, his lips curving into an ironic smile as he replied, "Die, I suppose."

"Unac...ceptable," Ritsuko coughed, staggering to Shinji's bed and hoisting him to his feet. "There... there has to be a way out!"

"Do you see one, anywhere?" the Commander asked coolly, gesturing to the flames surrounding them on every side. He lowered his voice, whispering, "Honestly, Doctor Akagi, I-"

The roar of the fire swallowed his words, making them impossible for Maya to hear... but she thought that Ritsuko understood, since her lips quirked into a disgusted sneer as she threw Shinji's arm over her shoulder and replied, "Liar..."

Misato bowed her head. Well, she thought tiredly, I finally found you, Shinji... I just wish-

"Look!"

Her head whipped up as Maya pointed to something on the far wall. "What...?"

Right in the middle of the flame, a small blue light was glowing. The three women stared at it as Gendou threw his head back and laughed. "Seeing things?" he asked snidely. "There's nothing there!"

The light flickered for a moment before fading... then flaring brighter. "Hurry!" a voice whispered in Misato's ear. "Hurry into the light..."

"Amber!?" Misato gasped looking around to see where the voice was coming. "Amber, where are you?"

"Hurry!" Amber's voice called, sounding as if it was coming from a great distance. "There's not much time, Miss Katsuragi... please hurry..."

Misato turned around and saw Ritsuko and Maya nodding, their faces feverish with hope as they cradled Shinji between them, stumbling as fast as they could towards the spot of blue in the raging inferno.

"Wait!" Gendou called, hurrying to his feet as the women rushed headlong towards what looked to him like a solid wall of fire. "What are you doing?!"

He took a step to follow them, but before he could take another, he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

"Y-you!" he gasped, his eyes wide as he glance back into a face he had not expected to ever see again.

"Me," the figure confirmed with a broad grin. "It's been a while, Commander..."

"Get away from me," Gendou hissed, fumbling for the shotgun, "Get away from me!!"

"Where you going, sir?" the man asked softly, his smile staying fixed and immobile as he reached out and swatted the empty shotgun from Gendou's hands. "There's no need to rush... you and I are going to be together for a long... long time..."

"No!" Gendou screamed, stumbling back as the apparition reached out and grasped him with superhuman strength, pulling him inexorably towards the fire. "No, no, NO, NO, NOOOOOOO!!!"

Taking a final look at the spot of blue, the figure shook its head, ignoring the slowly weakening screams of the doomed man in his grip.

"Take care of yourself, Katsuragi."

\- - - - -

News Flash!  
"The Brahms Exposer has the scoop!"

Divine Flame?  
By Eric 'The Ear' Kolinsky

Two men are confirmed dead this morning following a bizarre, isolated fire in the woods outside of the neighbouring city of Silent Hill. Local police started receiving reports of smoke and a bright orange glow at 2:35 yesterday morning, and by 3:00 they had managed to contain the blaze.  
Sifting through the wreckage, fire-fighters uncovered the bodies of two men, whose identities will be withheld pending notification of their families.  
"Damndest thing I've ever seen," veteran Silent Hill reserve fireman Ted Bronson reported, "it was one of the hottest fires I've ever seen... but those guys we pulled out? Not even singed! Looks more like some wild dogs'd been at 'em to me... course, I'm no doctor, I'm just saying..."  
Other firemen on the scene refused to comment, but this reporter noticed more than a few men holding silver crosses and looking up at the sky, which leaves us with the question – was Silent Hill visited by a vengeful god??  
Laugh now! But everyone from Springville to Ocean View will tell you that the so-called 'Quiet Town' has never been that quiet. Many long-time residents will tell you, if you can get them to, of the rash of murders perpetrated by a wandering vagrant not five years ago! And there have often been times when the town lives up to its name – going entirely silent for up to fifteen minutes at a time, with no phone or radio contact at all – which makes this reporter ask, "What, exactly, is going on here?"  
Was this fire REALLY an accident? Who were these two mysterious men – one of whom, it has been hinted, is a prominent local official? Why is it that local police are still unable to uncover the whereabouts of missing local teen Amber Donnelly? Is there a conspiracy behind the scenes of this sleepy little resort?  
Rest assured this reporter won't sleep until the full truth is uncovered!  
For now, Eric Kolinsky, reporting from Silent Hill... out.

\- - - - -

Misato set the tabloid down, rubbing her eyes tiredly and glancing around the small hotel room. Brahms, she thought, shaking her head at the irony, Shinji loves Brahms...

She sighed, pushing aside the similarities to the town they were staying in and one of the composers Shinji favoured. "You... want to have a shower...?" she asked hesitantly.

"No," Shinji replied, keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

"Well... I'm going to have one, ok?" Misato said, trying to sound light and casual, "be out in a second."

When Shinji made no reply, her shoulders slumped. Did you really think he would just bounce back? she berated herself, starting towards the bathroom. Honestly... you're no better than before! Misato glanced at the wall separating their room from Maya and Ritsuko's, idly wondering what the two were talking about. That's right... anything to keep from thinking about 'what happens now?'

With a sigh, she turned on the water – fully prepared to find blood flowing from the tap as she adjusted the hot and cold to a comfortable mix. "Stop it," she told herself firmly, "it's over damn it!"

Stepping under the water, she groaned, finding several bruises and scrapes she had not previously been aware of. Gingerly, she reached into the mouth, disturbed to find that one of her molars rocked rather easily in its socket, sending a cruel jab of pain along her jaw line with every wiggle.

I feel like I just went ten rounds with a heavyweight, she thought, spitting out a mouthful of blood. So why does it seem like the hardest is yet to come??

For fifteen minutes, she stood motionless under the pounding water, her mind running over everything she had gone through – both at NERV, and Silent Hill. As the water flowed down on her she knew that the time for running was over. She had not gone through that horrid nightmare for nothing, had she? No... change must take place, and it must take place immediately.

As she turned off the water, she remembered Alicia's words. "My Shinji," she said softly, "I don't want to lose my Shinji the way she lost hers. I won't give up!"

Finding that this declaration did nothing for her resolve, Misato quickly towelled off and changed into the spare clothes they had bought from a rather perplexed-looking shopkeeper in downtown Brahms.

"Looks like you folks had a helluva night!" Misato could hear the man's awed voice echoing in her mind.

"You have NO... idea..."

Throwing the towel over the curtain rod, Misato stepped back into the room, thankful that Shinji had not fallen to sleep yet... and wondering if either of them would ever sleep again. She did not know, exactly, how much Shinji remembered of Silent Hill, or even how aware he had been of anything after witnessing Amber's murder, but she was sure that there were some long nights ahead for both of them.

"Hey, Shinji...?" she said hesitantly, "can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Shinji said quietly, keeping his eyes heavenward.

"I just wanted to say... that I'm sorry..." Misato said slowly. When she got no immediate reply, she pressed on. "I'm sorry for what I said about Kaworu...you did what you had to do Shinji, and I understand how hard that must have been for you."

After a moment of quiet, Shinji finally glanced her way. "Misato, I-"

"I'm also sorry about the way I treated you," Misato cut in quickly, feeling her nerve starting to slip, "about how I was never was there for you when you needed me..." Misato clenched her hands into fists. God, I've got so many things to be sorry for! "I'm sorry about...everything. For letting Asuka move in, for making you pilot, for treating you so bad... I'm sorry, Shinji – truly, and deeply sorry..."

Shinji bit his bottom lip, clearly trying to decide how he should feel about this torrent of apologies... but before he could say anything, Misato let go of the words she had been holding onto since her second encounter with Alicia.

"I love you."

Shinji drew in a sharp, hissing breath. "M... Misato..." he managed, averting his eyes to hide the sudden dampness in them, "you shouldn't... say that just because... you think I want to-"

"I love you, Shinji," Misato cut in, slowly kneeling at the side of the bed and carefully taking his hand in hers. "Come home with me – to Tokyo-3, or any place that makes you happy. I'll go anywhere with you, Shinji... anywhere at all. I know... that I can't make up for everything I've done to you, but if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying. You're all that matters to me now... please let me stay with you."

Shinji swallowed. "I don't... I don't know what to say," he whispered, glancing down at the back of her hand, "I... you've always... treated me like a child, so I don't-"

"That's because I thought of you that way," Misato interrupted quietly, "I didn't want to see you as a real person, Shinji, but I do now... if you'll let me."

"I don't know..." Shinji said awkwardly.

Misato nodded. "Then let's... try, ok?" she said slowly, "I'll try to treat you the way you deserve to be treated... and you... you try to put up with me while I get used to it. I know it won't be easy, Shinji, I know that, but at least give me a chance...?"

Shinji regarded her hopeful, weary face, noticing for the first time just how haunted her eyes were. She had proven that she cared by coming after him, and she said she loved him... though he was not quite sure he believed her yet. But all she's asking for is a chance, he reminded himself, if it doesn't work out... it doesn't work out, end of story. And-

He cut the thought off, unnerved by how 'grown up' it sounded.

"Alright," he said finally, unable to meet the woman's eyes. "We'll try."

Misato's face broke into a relieved smile. "Thank you, Shinji," she said, wiping quickly at her eyes. "I'll do my best."

Her heart clenched in her chest as Shinji put his free hand over hers, giving her a small, tentative smile. "I know you will, Misato..." he murmured, offering her a small, clumsy absolution with his kindness and honesty. "I know you will. You always have."

\- - - - -

Three days later, Shinji Ikari, Misato Katsuragi, Ritsuko Akagi and Maya Ibuki returned to Tokyo 3. The day before their departure, the Brahms Exposer revealed the identities of the two men killed in the fire as one Gendou Ikari, a Japanese National, and Aaron Fletcher, the Chief of the Silent Hill Police Department. The paper reported that both men had been badly mutilated – one of them to the point that he could only be identified by his dental records – but that no evidence of foul play had yet been uncovered. The paper blamed the attacks on a wild animal of some sort, as the forensics experts agreed that no human could possibly have inflicted the kind of damage the two men had suffered.

The investigation, the paper noted, was still open.

Shinji Ikari and Misato Katsuragi dated for some time, in spite of some disapproval by several of their co-workers, and were eventually married in 2019. Their first child was born in 2022. It was a girl. They named her Yui. They lived happily, for the most part... though Misato was never quite able to forget her experiences in the small town of Silent Hill, and found that she was unable to sleep alone without revisiting the quiet resort in her dreams.

Ritsuko Akagi came back to Tokyo-3 and surrendered herself to NERV authorities, determined to plead her case before sub-commander Fuyutsuki. Upon her arrival, however, she found that somehow, the details of the charges against her had vanished from the MAGI system, and as all evidence against her was absent, she was released from the organization without incident. With most of her ties severed, she moved on to other scientific work and was ultimately awarded the Nobel Prize in 2019 for her theoretical essay on the use of recombinant DNA therapy to cure Klienfelter's disease. She was absent from the awards ceremony, though, as it conflicted with the wedding of one of her oldest friends. Those who had come to know her were not surprised.

Maya Ibuki remained at her Sempai's side, working closely with her in all of her research, but refusing to share in the limelight the other woman enjoyed. Finding upon her return that her apartment seemed rather empty, Maya invited the Second Child to stay with her, and while the two did not always see eye to eye, they both agreed that there was a certain comfort to be taken from living with someone that knows exactly what you've gone through. For the rest of her life, Maya remained a gentle, warm-hearted woman... though following the events in Silent Hill, she did learn to be stronger and express her opinions more openly.

The day after word of her son-in-law's death reached her, Missus Dorothy Calhoun reluctantly signed the papers to have her daughter Edith committed to a psychiatric hospital. She has since taken her grandson Charlie into her custody and quietly relocated to a town that is not quite as familiar with her daughter's husband and his recently discovered, highly illegal exploits in the local drug trafficking scene.

And in the town of Silent Hill, they say, you can sometimes see a woman with long dark hair and emerald green eyes watching you from the forest on the outskirts of town. Her smile, they will tell you, is sad and nostalgic... and if you meet her eyes for too long, you might just find yourself with an irresistible urge to find the person you love the most and hold them like you'll never let them go.

Because in the end, these wise souls insist, all that matters is who you love, and who loves you. Nothing more... nothing less.

END

Author's Notes: Well this it the conclusion of Where Darkness Falls, this was a fic about facing up to the things you did to someone.

Random's notes: This was fun. I've been wanting to do a Silent Hill fic for a while, so when Greywolf approached me with his idea for a crossover with EVA, I jumped on it. We might work together again at some point in the future, so if you liked this story, keep your eyes open. And thanks for reading! -Random


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